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 MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)

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Simian King
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PostSubject: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:40 pm

A new story about Secret Agency, Kickass Soldiers and Spys showing their awesomness, and of course, love-making.

Prologue: Between a Bullet and the Ground
"So, Brad Harper, any last words?"

Brad had his hands up, pinned next to window and surrounded by baddies dressed in black. Standing above them on a pedestal was a cliched evil genius laughing like a maniac.

"Well," started the British white-collered office geek turned British Secret Agent, "I think I have to say...DUCK!" He pulled out two pistols, and fired several rounds into the evil genious' lackies. "AFTER HIM!"

"Sorry Dr. Julio," Brad started, holding a bottle containing some sort of super-secret formula to create weapons of mass destruction, "But I have to go!" The super-kickass agent jumped out of the window, and pulled a lever that released a parasail come out from his backpack.

"CURSE YOU BRAD HARPER!" Dr. Julio yelled angrily. Brad looked down and saw several MI6 agents surrounding the building. He chcukled as he sailed into the passenger seat of his Aston Martin. He took his backpack off, and looked at the sexy woman driving the car.

"Great job, Agent Harper." The woman said.

"Gracias, Agent McArther. Quite a display of awesomeness wouldn't you say?"

Agent McArther giggled, and said, "Yes indeed. Should we return to base?"

Agent Brad smiled, and said, "How about we take a detour to my hotel room? I'm sure the boss won't mind waiting a little bit."

"Sure...why not?"
**************************************************
Two US men hid in the bushes, staking out Brad. "He's good Simian..." one said.

"Very good indeed, Cajun." Simian responded. "Just the man we need to stop the Baron. We should tell Mega."

"Right, lets go."
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:02 am

Brad's a player. OH BOI. =O

Why didnt' they just shoot holes in his parachute though? 0-o

Aston Martin, THAT'S MINE!!! Sad

Yay I'm in it. :3

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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:04 am

cool
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Simian King
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:08 am

All the baddies were taken out Wink And poor Dr. Julio without a gun.

Brad's a womanizer Wink Like James Bond. We'll see more baby-making goodness later

Thanks guys
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Wed Feb 03, 2010 6:13 am

Pretty cool start. =. Very Bond-ish, or at least what I've seen of Bond. xD

I am officially interested.

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Brad is now....A MAN....after however long this message has been here. >=. --Mega10
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Thu Feb 04, 2010 7:37 pm

That's what I was going for Brad mah boi =D
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Mon Feb 08, 2010 10:43 pm

Chapter 1: The MB Alliance

Brad sat in his bed, his female friend sleeping next to him. Brad was smoking a cigar, and thinking of a brilliant escape from the woman he slept with last night. Being the big-shot secret agent he is, Brad doesn't stay with one woman too long. As he was deciding whether to go on a stealth mission in Russia or a commando operation in Venezuela, there was a knock on his apartment door. He got up, put a robe on, and walked to the door. He opened it, and was met by two men in black...actually a man and a woman in black.

The first noticeable thing about the man was his height. The man, a skinny 6'8" fellow, asked, "Sir, are you Brad Harper?"

Brad studied the the man and his female partner. "Maybe...who are you?"

The man sighed, and showed his fancy government badge. It said, "Zeke Freeman, US Government Agent."

Brad nodded, and said, "Yes I am...what do you want...Zeke right?"

"That is correct."

"What do you want?" Brad asked quietly, putting his hand in his pocket, should he need his laser pen.

Zeke was about to answer, when the female partner tugged on his sleeve. She was, as opposed to her partner, very short, about 5'5". "What is it Soma?" Freeman asked.

Soma pointed to Brad's attractive companion, who was waking up. "Shall I tranq, ZF?"

ZF nodded, and Soma quickly pulled out a pistol, and shot the woman, who slumped back onto the bed.

Brad looked at the MI6 Agent, and then quickly asked, "What the bloody hell was that? Just because I was gonna ditch her doesn't mean you had to kill her!"

"One night stands aren't healthy Brad, ask my buddy Fred."

"Who?" Brad asked confused.

"Never mind that," ZF started, "We're here to take you with us."

"Pardon me?"

"You're in the club now, Brad." Soma said. "MB-227, the Failsafe Squad. We're a secret agency of spys, soldiers, and misfits of society. And guess what? You're in."

Brad scracthed his head. "I was never notified...I'd think Jamie would have told me about this."

"Jamie, I assume you mean Commander James Franklin," ZF started. "Don't worry, our leader will brief you at the base. So get your crap, we have to go."
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:37 am

Lol XD Nice XP She got tranqued ((If that's a word)) and dude that's like 3-4 inches taller than I am now XD
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:48 pm

lol it was interesting reminds me of dirt
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Sun Feb 28, 2010 12:53 am

"Don't worry, our leader will brief you at the base. So get your crap, we have to go."

^^^ This line keeps making me go LOL XDDD ZF is very direct. =)

Rofl numerous MBs, and Soma terminated. OMG XD

Good job, xD

I better be in the next. :3

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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Sun Feb 28, 2010 1:08 am

Gracias amigo ^_^ I'll make sure ur in.

And thanks to everyone else too.
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Sun Feb 28, 2010 1:14 am

ZF is freakishly tall. O.o

Lady friend got tranq'd!

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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Sun Feb 28, 2010 1:16 am

Yus she did :3
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Tue Mar 02, 2010 4:49 pm

Bad Brad is bad I see. In many aspects. XD
Ololol Zeke.

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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Wed Mar 03, 2010 11:35 pm

Thanks Mega =3
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:33 am

I thought you posted a new chapter. <_< :bounce:

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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Fri Mar 05, 2010 10:58 pm

Olol later
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Sat Mar 06, 2010 12:39 am

ZF pulled up the pimped-out ice cream truck dubbed "The Adminmobile," next to a tree in the middle of a park. "Where are we?" Brad asked.

ZF started to say, "We're in the city of-", but Soma cut him off to say, "Classified. Trust me, its better you DON'T know. Besides, it makes us seem more...mysterious..."

Brad shrugged, and continued to follow ZF. ZF pulled a pair of keys from his pocket, and unlocked a not that hard to notice lock on the tree. After unlocking the tree, ZF put his finger on a fingerprint scanner. After the scan, he put his eye next to a retina scanner. After that scan, he cut off a piece of hair and put it in as a follice sample. After this, ZF licked a panel to analyze his saliva.

Finally, a robotic voice said, "Voice Scan." ZF cleared his throat, and said, "Zeke Freeman."

Several beeps and mechanical sounds made Brad assume the voice scanner was checking to make sure it was ZF. "Accepted." The door inside the tree opened, and Soma, ZF, and Brad went in.

Soma sat in a chair, and strapped herself in. ZF did the same. Brad sat down, confused. "Why are we sitting?" he asked.

A voice on the intercom obnoxiously yelled, "Alright you bastards, strap yourself in, and keep your hands inside of the ride. We aren't responsible if you lose any limbs."

"I suggest you strap in." Soma said. Brad shrugged, and strapped himself in. After this, a countdown followed. "3...2...1...Have a nice day!"

The room took a fast DROP down the the underground HQ. Brad was yelling and screaming as the ride made his hair, face...pretty much everything go up. ZF and Soma sat quietly as if it was boring. The ride violently shook on its way down, smoke and mist was spraying all over the place, Brad's head banged back and forth on the head rest. All the while, elevator music was playing overhead.

"Man I hate this song!" Soma yelled to ZF.

"I know!" ZF yelled back. "Wanna make out?" he asked more quietly.

"What?!" Soma asked.

"Do you wanna make out?!" ZF asked louder this time.

"That's unprofessional!" Soma yelled back.

ZF sighed, sniffed a little, and said, "Ok..."

As the ride slowed down, Brad began hyperventilating. ZF unstrapped himself and Brad, and picked up Brad.
********************************************************
The threesome entered a tunnel, onto a boat with dwarves and cats singing. As the three walked out, they were greeted by a talking cactus. "Gracias for the ride, Senor Freeman. Hola, recruit, me llamo es McPedro."

Brad was still hyperventilating, and McPedro laughed. "Our new amigo es a whimp! T_L should fix him up, no?"

ZF laughed, saying, "Yeah. Hope he won't go too hard on him." The three continued, and entered the decontamination room.

Brad walked in the room, and was stripped of his clothing. He snapped back to his senses, and realized he was in a base of some sort...and naked. He was embarressed, and tried to get out. However, people in hazmat suits tackled him, shaving him and putting geiger counter next to him. Brad tried to get away, but the struggle was useless. When the team was finished, the shower turned on. Before he could ask anything, he was walloped by soap, then more water.

After another treatment of decontamination, Brad was given a towel and clothes by a medic of some sort. "Thanks for a towel for the new guy, Laclipsey." ZF said.

Laclipsey nodded, saying, "No problem." He scratched his chin, asking, "Who recruited him?"

"Simian and Cajun," ZF said. "They say he's good."

"Well, I suppose that's up to the leader, huh?" Laclipsey said.

"Who's the leader?" Brad asked. However, no one answered. No one even seemed to notice. Brad shrugged it off, and kept following ZF and Soma.
**************************************************
"HEY! YOU MISSED A SPOT!" A long-haired guy yelled at a janitor. The janitor, who had a nametag that simply said Nathan, whimpered, and said, "OK Geo..."

"WHAT?!" Geo exclaimed. "HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME SO INFORMAL! IT'S MR. VICE PRESIDENT GEO TO YOU, MAGGOT! NOW CALL ME THAT!"

Nathan began to cry, and said, "Yes sir, Mr. Vice President Geo!"

Geo proceeded to slap Nathan with goat meat, saying, "BE FERTILE NOW, NATHAN! GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY! AND STRAIGHTEN THAT PICTURE!

Brad was quite terrified by Nathan's mistreatment, and asked, "Is everyone treated like that by him?"

"No," Soma said. "Only Nathan, but that's because the leader tells him to. No one's especially nice to him, except Belbell. She does it so he can be her personal servant, in exchange for compliments and her dating him."

Brad shook his head. "Whose the leader?" he asked Soma. Again, she said nothing. Brad scratched his head.

"How come no one is answering me?" he asked himself. He looked on the walls, which were covered with pictures of a woman with important people: The President, Arnold Schwartzeneger, Steven Tyler, a puppy, and most importantly, Chuck Norris.

"Wow," he thought, "This lady looks pretty important...not too bad looking either...wonder who she is."
**********************************************
The team turned around the corner, and met another MB, in uniform. "So, who's this?"

"Brad Harper, the new guy." ZF said.

"Alright then!" Rose said, smiling. She put on gloves, and put him on the wall. "Spread 'em!" she told Brad, who was not sure if he was enjoying this or not.

"Uhh...Rose, I don't think that he has any weapons." Soma said.

"So? He's real muscular...I like that..."

Soma sighed, pulling Rose off of Brad, and slapping her sister in the face. "Sorry..." quietly said.

"Sit in the corner," Soma told he Rose, pointing to a corner. Rose compliently went to the corner.

Brad, who was quite literally freaked out by this whole experience, continued. More pictures, this time of victories against communists, tyrants, and all-around meanie heads. "Wow, this chick's good..." Brad thought to himeself.
***********************************************
"Well Brad," ZF started, "This is goodbye, for now at least. You're meeting with Simian and Cajun, you'll know when you see them."

"Thanks ZF, and Soma too." He started away, and asked, "Hey ZF, who's the leader?"

ZF and Soma were already gone, and thus Brad's question remained unanswered. He sighed, and continued. He walked by a door, with several people surrounded around a glass window. There were two men looking a Connect Four Game, heated in contest

Brad stood by to watch. One dropped one in a slot. The crowd around the glass oohed and ahhed, as the other man scracthed his head. The second man picked up his chip, and dropped it into the slot. The crowd cheered as the second man won. The first shook the second man's hand, and they walked out.

Brad shoved through the crowd, and made it to the two Connect Four players. "Good day, gentlemen." Brad said.

"Hey Cajun," the first man said, "Its Brad!"

"The Brit?" the second man asked. "Welcome to MB HQ! How do ya like it?"

Brad thought back. "It's been...strange to say the least...and actually I have some complaints. Who's you're leader?"

"Actually," Cajun started, "We were gonna take you to the leader."

"Really?" Brad asked.

"Yeah," Simian said. "She's been waiting to see you. So lets go, its not good to keep the leader waiting."

Brad nodded, and followed the two.
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Sat Mar 06, 2010 12:51 am

LOL inconspicuous tree lock xD

ew everybody licks that thingy xD AIDS

elevator music XD

Soma won't make out Razz

singing things XDDDDDD

You can't know bout the leader.

WTF cause the leader tells Geo to be an $$$ xDDDDD

THE LEADER KNOWS ALL WHO ARE SOMEBODY IN OUR WORLD Smile
"Alright then!" Rose said, smiling. She put on gloves, and put him on the wall. "Spread 'em!" she told Brad, who was not sure if he was enjoying this or not. >>> HOLY SHIT!!! O____o POOR BRAD D: she gonna shove her hand up his $$$!?

More epic pictures. <3

How the hell you beat me at connect 4 boi? D= CHEATER XD

AWESOME CHAP =D

You do NOT keep the leader waiting. T_T

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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:21 pm

Lol, we have completly random base technology XD

Woo, we got a picture of Chuck Norris.

And WHICH president is it a picture of?

Lol, janitor Nathan.

Nice XP
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:42 pm

lol that was funny

btw does any one kno bout Edgar Allen Poe?
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Mon Mar 08, 2010 7:03 pm

Edgar Allen Poe was a dude with like, the worst life ever.
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Mon Mar 08, 2010 10:30 pm

lol he is a poet and i need informantion on him for a report im doing
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Sun Mar 14, 2010 1:43 am

Thanks for the comments. Haven't decided who el presidente is...maybe Obama, maybe some other dude. Either way I'm gonna make him a total idiot =P

Edgar Allan Poe...terrible life. So messed up. Everyone who was close to him dies D: Sad sad...

YES A PICTURE OF CHUCK NORRIS
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PostSubject: Re: MB-227- The Failsafe Squad (Featuring Secret Agent Kickassery)   Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:42 am

id actually rather have his live it would alot better than what ive got
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