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 An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:46 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 43

The man cracking his knuckles walked over to Brad and punched him in the side of the face. Brad grunted and bit his lip in pain. The employee punched him again on the other side of his face and Brad groaned again. The man continued to beat the crap out of Brad until his friend stopped him concerned of Brad’s condition.

Brad’s eyes slowly closed weakly.

“Damn it Carl! You’re killing him! Stop it! We need him to talk! He’s no use to us dead!” snapped Joe.

“Sorry Joe… ONE more punch…” Carl struck Brad in the gut with his fist and Brad groaned in pain.

Brad wheezed painfully and began choking to death with the muzzle on. Brad thrashed around in his chair uncontrollably as the two employees looked at him in horror.

“Aw jeez you broke him!” shouted Joe. He backhanded his companion. “Take the muzzle off of him you idiot before he suffocates. We aren’t done with him yet.”

Carl hurriedly took off the muzzle on Brad’s face and Brad vomited on Carl’s clothes almost instantly.

Brad groaned weakly and stared with a blank expression at the two employees. Gasping for fresh air he sighed somewhat amused at the fact he had gotten putrid vomit all over his torturer’s blue work vest.

“YOU FILTHY FLEA BITTEN WOLF! ALL OVER MY CLOTHES!? I’LL KILL YOU!” screamed Carl enraged as he yanked out a switch blade from his pocket.

Joe grabbed the knife and put it away. “We don’t need that yet…”



Shadow meanwhile continued to mumble something nobody could understand. He was talking more though, apparently had had finally realized there was another MB in the room with him.

“THEN LET’S TALK TO HIM! GO GET THE MANAGER. Can’t wait to kill this mistake of God…” mumbled Carl angrily squinting at the MB in the chair staring back at him.

Brad blinked innocently confused.

Brad looked on at the two employees bickering at each other. His eyes shifted back and forth each time the other interrupted and he was getting dizzy.

“I’ll get him but you come with me! I don’t trust you to babysit these two.” said Joe.

“Grrr…” snarled Carl. “Fine…”

The two men left the room and went to get the boss. Brad sighed a bit. He was happy they were gone at least for now.

Brad looked at Shadow who was fidgeting in his chair and trying to scratch his back.

Brad rolled his eyes and looked around the room.

Crimson was still playing a hardcore game of Connect Four with a potato. She squinted at it. It did nothing back.

“Smart move…” she said scratching her chin. “But mine is better!”

Crimson dropped in a chip and laughed evilly.

The potato did nothing.

“Yeah there’s nothing you can do to stop me from winning. You’re screwed.” pointed out Crimson.

The potato still did nothing. Crimson suddenly turned to look at another potato sitting beside her.

“NO! For the last time NO Spud! You CAN’T play winner. Only me and Spudowski get to play Connect Four. You don’t even know how to play this game for seven year olds.” she groaned deeply displeased.

The potato looked at her apparently disappointed.

“Oh lawd. Hush up. You’re getting me just about as mad as ZF that time T_L jacked his golf club.” Crimson placed the potato into her empty Slurpee cup and turned it upside down. “Now see? It hurts me too but I didn’t want to do this. You just sit there quietly in time out and think about what you did while I play Connect Four with your friend.”

The potatoes continued to not say anything nor do anything.

Suddenly she heard footsteps and poked her head out from under the clothes rack to see what was up. She saw her friends.

“PSST! YOU GUYS!” hissed Crimson. She waved idiotically at the other MBs who smiled and waved back relieved to have found her.

“Crimson we found you!” shouted Cajun who rushed to give her a bear hug.

Everybody joined in and hugged their leader much to her displeasure but not enough to complain. She was somewhat happy they had found her.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Soma informed her.

“Wasn’t Brad supposed to be with you guys?” Crimson asked slowly when she realized some of her friends were missing.

Everybody was quiet. Several MBs looked down at the ground with trembling lips.

“Crimson we lost Brad and Sink.” whispered Soma gloomily.

“What!?” gasped Crimson hoping they meant “lost” and not “lost” as in dead. “Well… We need to find them…”

“Crimson listen to me! They’re gone! They’re dead!” shouted Soma as Crimson began bawling.

“NO! NO! You humans have inferior vision… You surely didn’t see something right… Your vision isn’t true high definition like mine and your ears lack perfect sound quality AND surround sound… NO! It’s not true….” cried Crimson who didn’t want to believe they were dead.

“Come on Crimson. We need to get to the admin-mobile. It’s what Brad wanted us to do.” ordered Soma.

“It may have been Brad’s final wishes… But you’re forgetting Soma. He left you in charge because nobody outranked you. I’m head honcho.” Crimson wiped a tear from her face.

“We’re gonna go look for Brad?” asked Belbell.

“No.” said Crimson epically as she calmed down.

“Oh?” asked Tom.

“We…” began Crimson.

Everyone opened their mouths awaiting the conclusion of Crimson’s statement.

“are going to McDonalds!” Crimson finished raising her arm to the ceiling triumphantly. “I’ve been hungry ever since me and mah subordinate human bodyguards Cajun, Gbleek, Nathan, and Belbell started hiding out in the backroom…”

“Oh yeah! Saw one when we snuck into the store next to that evil greeter.” said Cajun.

“Great I’m freaking starving.” said Simian gleefully.

Simian looked at his tummy and patted it longingly. He thought about the yummy foods he could gorge himself with at McDonalds.

“Same.” said Gbleek. “Feed me!” shouted Gbleek over and over. “I want freaking food!”

“Patience human. For McDonalds specializes in FAST food.” Crimson announced to Gbleek.

“YAY!” squealed Gbleek.

Everyone nodded in approval and clapped happily.

“Hey by the way where’s Nathan anyway?” asked Laclipsey.

“Yeah…” added Bloogoo.

“Oh. He died. Probably got raped by a fat German man too. One of the employees eating him was some fat German man. I saw him through the vent staring at his corpse's &*( with this weird look in his eye….” winked Gbleek in an utterly sincere tone of voice.

“Oh my…” said Laclipsey.

“It would appear so.” said Belbell.

Several of the other MBs who had not yet known of Nathan’s fate squirmed where they were standing. They looked around at each other in uncomfortable silence.

“Screw the awkward silence moment! To McDonalds we go pathetic humans!” shouted Crimson as she marched in the direction of the in-store McDonalds.

Everybody followed without any objections.

The potatoes would never get to finish his game of Connect Four with Crimson. She forgot to bring him with her, the same as his friend. His friend would forever rot under the Slurpee cup patiently waiting to play winner and come out of time out. The potatoes would rot and develop strange exotic slime molds until the end of time and or a janitor found them and threw them away.

End of Act 43
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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:54 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 44

The store manager stepped into the room alone and walked up to Brad.

“Why hello hello my pet we finally meet.” the boss smiled revealing his white teeth.

Brad growled at him and bared his fangs at him in response without so much as a hello.

“Oooh an attitude. So are we going to have to break you in Wolfie? Like a horse? Hmm?” The man laughed amused as Brad began fidgeting in his chair and trying to break his cuffs.

Brad ignored the store manager and looked at his hands. The metal cuffs clinked as they touched each other. The boss looked at Brad working diligently to break his cuffs.

The boss chuckled and then slapped Brad on the side violently. “Stop that. Pay attention to me creature.”

Brad looked up.

“I’ve been eyeing you ever since I first saw you. I don’t know what you are… But I know that you’re worth a lot of money…” the boss began.

Brad raised a brow confused. “You’re crazy…”

“Oh so you talk too. Even better. I now know that you can speak English fluently as well as comprehend it verbally. LISTEN TO ME!” the boss screamed as he punched Brad savagely in the chest.

Brad stopped fiddling with his cuffs and gave him his full devoted attention.

“The feds may be using you as a some sort of common grunt. Nothing but an everyday foot soldier… But I see a better use for you..."

“Ha! Ha ha what!? What the heck are you talking about!? Feds!? I’m not F.B.I!” panted Brad deliriously while laughing nervously.

Brad shook around in his chair frightened. The man truly was mad. He actually thought that Brad and his friends were federal agents on some mission.

“YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!” roared the man as he stepped over to a table in the center of the room.

“What… Where are you going… What are you doing!?” screamed Brad.

“I must get you to talk somehow and since you aren’t going to do so on your own accord…”

Brad gulped and tried to get a glimpse of what the man was doing. The man turned around with a hammer.

“WHAT THE HECK IS THAT FOR!?” shrieked Brad in terror.

Brad thrashed around more and more in his chair. Nearby Shadow heard Brad’s voice and began talking to himself again thinking that Brad was there to save him.

The man walked back over to Brad and raised the shining silver tool in his hands.

“Please don’t do this.” muttered Brad.

Brad stared at the object with big eyes as he shook involuntarily.

“IF YOU’RE NOT A FEDERAL AGENT WHO SENT YOU HERE THEN!?” the man screamed at Brad enraged.

The store manager struck Brad’s cuffed hand as hard as he could with the metal object and smashed two of the MB’s fingers. He smiled as he heard the sound of a sweet and satisfying crunch. It was music to his ears.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!” screamed Brad at the top of his lungs.

Brad stopped screaming and began crying silently to himself. He closed his eyes and began hyperventilating. He pressed his feet against the floor as hard as he could and bit his lips trying to make the pain stop to no avail.

“WHY!? AAAGH!” Brad growled at the man in between bursts of tears.

“WHO SENT YOU HERE!?” the man demanded to know again.

“NO ONE! NO ONE!” Brad answered honestly. “I CAME TO HELP MY FRIENDS GET AN N64!” Brad laughed deliriously with tears rolling down his furry face.

“That’s the worst excuse I’ve ever heard! Apparently you need more.” the man struck Brad’s hand again and smashed two more fingers.

“AAAAARGH!!!” grunted Brad as he thrashed around more in his chair. “JUST KILL ME.”

“I never planned on killing you. You’re too valuable to me. I already told you. You… You are special. Your friends at the Feds though like the kid behind me…” He nodded in the direction of Shadow. “Are expendable.”

“You’ll never stop us. We’re on a mission from God!” groaned Brad. “!@#$ you! !@#$ you and the white horse you rode in on!”

“And what is your mission here!?” demanded the man.

Brad growled at the man and bit his lips in pain as the bones in his fingers began to heal.

“MMMMRM….” groaned Brad as he twitched like crazy.

“What is this….” the boss said to himself as he observed Brad’s hand.

Brad moved the first two fingers that had been broken. Brad continued grunting and groaning in pain as the other two fingers healed. Broken bones aren’t fun at all.

“Healing… You just are the perfect killing machine. I tell you man. You and I are going to be such good friends. Especially since you’re worth millions to me… One of a kind… Special.”

Brad said nothing and then finally let out a happy sigh of relief. He looked at his fingers and twiddled them in defiance for the man to see. He smirked as the manager gritted his teeth angrily.

“Heh.” coughed Brad.

“Well let’s see you grow these back. If you answer correctly this time maybe I won’t do it…. Who sent you?”

“For the last time freak. Nobody. I have no idea why you think I’m allied with the Feds.”

“So unwise. You think you can fool me!? Your friend here has already admitted to everything! He talked before you got here! I KNOW AT LEAST HE IS WITH THE FEDS! LOGICALLY YOU'RE ONE TOO. You've got my hands in a knot. I have only a few options and all of them are painful on your account. NOW I NEED THE DETAILS.” screamed the man.

At that very moment for some reason Shadow immediately stopped talking. He cringed for some reason at hearing this. It was true. He had talked.

The man walked over to the table and put the hammer down. He picked up a pair of pliers and walked back over to Brad. Brad began sweating profusely.

“Oh hmm hmm hmm. And what are we going to do with that now. It looks much too big for you to be playing with.” said Brad defiantly in the face of danger.

“I already told you. Take something that won’t grow back.” the man smiled sadistically.

The man leaned towards Brad and stuck a metal rod in his mouth propping his jaw open. Brad could no longer clamp his jaws down shut and his face was completely defenseless. The man clamped the pliers down onto one of Brad’s fangs and pulled on it.

“EEERM! EERRM!!!” squealed Brad as the man yanked his tooth out. “Stoff!!! STOFF!!!”

“Tell me the names of your fellow agents Wolf Man.” snarled the boss.

“NEVAH. I’d rathah DIE den give uh my fwiends.” growled Brad as blood and drool began dropping out of his gaping mouth.

“Tell me where I can find your friends and how I can infiltrate their secret hideout!” screamed the boss at the top of his lungs. “I WON’T LET YOU RUIN MY MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR DEAL WITH THE TERRORIST GROUP. I’VE KNOWN FOR YEARS THE GOVERNMENT WAS ONTO ME AND MY BLACK MARKET ARMS DEALING AND YOU AREN’T STOPPING ME NOW!!!”

The man yanked another one of Brad’s fangs out and Brad screamed.

“Tell me how to get your friends and I’ll let you keep what remains of your dastardly good looks.” said the manager dryly.

“My wips are ealed. Ooo’ll nevah get mah fweds.” grunted Brad as more blood and drool fell from the side of his face.

The manager sighed. “You REALLY aren’t going to tell me how to catch your friends are you?”

Brad shook his head laughing deliriously. “No.”

The man took the pliers and began ripping out the rest of Brad’s teeth. As Brad continued shrieking in pain the man continued talking.

“You know I don’t really NEED to question you. I just don’t trust the word of my informer all that well. He seems like the treacherous type. I mean. When you torture a man there’s only a certain threshold… A certain limit... A certain amount of pain that one can stand before they crack. They’ll say anything. ANYTHING to get the pain to stop. Your friend there. He seems like one of those people. I think once I’m done desecrating your mouth I’ll resume torturing your buddy. Maybe if I cut off his ear or light him on fire… Hmm…” He stopped and pondered on that thought. “Yes I bet that he’ll probably be a lot more talkative than you… Oh and a hint for once this is over. I wouldn’t smile for a VERY long time…” The man laughed insanely as Brad looked at him with hatred and fear.

Brad gurgled from all the liquid pooling in his mouth and another fang popped out of his mouth. The man dropped it onto a little side table with the other teeth that he had already pulled out. The bloody tooth rattled for a few seconds and then stopped.

End of Act 44

Shadow a Fed? LOL I wonder how long he was tortured before he "Admitted" to being one. XDDDDD
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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:59 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 45

The Megabuddies arrived at the McDonalds and stood outside the store ominously. They watched all of the people inside happily munching on hamburgers and waiting in line to order their meal.

“Drats! There’s a line!” sighed Laclipsey.

“No worries my friends!” said Crimson. “Remember. JUST like we rehearsed it and everything will work out!”

Everyone smiled and nodded their heads.
The Megabuddies dashed into the McDonalds and started screaming really loud with intimidating voices and random swearing to clear the room. Random seemingly insane outbursts terrified the innocent civilians.

“IN THE NAME OF DOUGHNUTS!!!” shouted ZF as he ran into the room waving his golf club in the air threateningly.

“What of doughnuts?” asked Bloogoo hungrily.
“STARSCREAM’S GEARBOX” cackled Simian as he ran around like an idiot with shaving cream mimicking foam around his mouth.
“HE’S RABID! RUN!!!!” screamed more customers as they quickly abandoned their lunches.
“BLUEBERRY BAGELS!!!” hissed Crimson. “WHERE ARE THEY!?!?!?”

“I love you ZF…” mumbled Soma as all the MBs continued running into the fast food joint.

Gbleek had been standing next to Soma and heard everything. “What!? Aaaargh….” Gbleek wailed in disbelief gritting his teeth. “GIRLFRIEND STEALER!!!” he screamed at Zeldafan.

“Oh please not now Gbleek! I’m too hungry to listen to you whine.” hissed ZF.

ZF apparently didn’t’ hear Soma confessing her love for him under her breath. Soma sighed. Secretly ZF loved her too though. The two of them were just too damn shy to admit it to each other. Soma had made the first move and it had gone unnoticed. She crossed her arms and resumed screaming to clear the room.
“AAAAGH!!!” screamed almost every other customer in the store as they bolted into the main store like jackrabbits.

“MADMAN!!! YOU’RE A MADMAN!” gasped an elderly man who began clutching his chest, probably due to the massive heart attack he was experiencing from the shock that the MBs had inflicted upon him.
“PLEASE!!! PLEASE LET MY BABY LIVE!!!” a woman screamed at ZF as she held her infant daughter in front of her face as a shield. “BETTER YET LET ME!!!” she screamed staring at his upraised golf club.

ZF raised a brow greatly annoyed and pretended that he was going to strike her with it. The woman screamed again and ran out of the store.

“I think that’s everyone… Except the lowly teenagers working their part time job!” announced Cajun as he brushed his hands together with satisfaction.

“Please… PLEASE… Don’t kill me…” whimpered a girl at the counter.

“No promises honey.” promised Cajun.

The girl’s face scrunched up and she began crying like a baby. Her friends in the room began crying as well in fear for their lives.
“Well done guys. We now have approximately minus five minutes and counting until all the screaming and random people crying like babies outside are traced back to us in this store.” smirked Crimson. She turned in place and pointed at one of her friends. “YOU! Gbleek! Go stand watch at the door. I’ll order for you!”

“Stupid girlfriend stealer…” mumbled Gbleek under his breath again as he sighed and went to guard the door. “Get me a cheeseburger. And I want a coke. LARGE!”

“Okee!” said Crimson waving goodbye at him for unknown reasons.

She had no idea why she was waving goodbye. He was still in the McDonalds.

“Soma! Call T_L back at base. See if he wants us to bring him something.” ordered Crimson. “I’ll begin ordering our food.

Soma took out her adminlyperson cell phone and flipped through her contacts until she found “MB HQ”. She pressed a finger down on the phone and put the device up to her ears.

“YOU! HUMAN GIRL!” screamed Crimson demandingly.

“I DUN WANNA DIE!!!” bawled the girl at the register.

“I CAN SCREAM LOUD TOO! BE QUIET!” screamed Crimson louder. “Me and my friends! We’re hungry! Make with the food! Chop chop!” Crimson extended a flat hand in front of her body and beat down on it several times with a curled up fist at the “Chop chop!” part.

The girl screamed in terror at the “Chop chop!” part as her fellow McDonalds employees friends locked themselves in the store’s freezer, hoping they could escape unnoticed.
T_L heard the phone ringing and paused the Tivo for a second. It was Shark Week and his eyes had been glued to the television console for hours without rest. He answered the phone.

“Make it fast… The sharks were eating people! And the chick being eaten is hot!!!”
“Right… We’re at McDonalds. Do you want us to get you anything?” asked Soma.
“Heck yeah! I want. NO. I DEMAND that you guys pick me up a cheeseburger, no vegetables or stuff on it by the way, an order of large fries, and a large Coca-Cola! Oh and a toy.” said T_L triumphantly in a self righteous tone of voice.
“So demanding…. Would you like to say please?” asked Soma blankly.
T_L scratched his chin in deep thought for two seconds thinking her suggestion over.

“Nah I’m good with being demanding. Thanks. Love you guys. Bye!”

He hung up the phone.
Soma hung up the phone and put it in her pocket. She looked at Crimson who was grilling the girl working the register.

“But!!! But!!!” stuttered the frightened girl.

“But what!? HUUUUMAN!?”

“I don’t know your order!” she whimpered back.


“NO!!! NOT THE MANAGER!” whimpered the girl. “I NEED THIS JOB!!!”

“THEN TAKE MY ORDER!!! Good idea isn’t it human? HMMMM???”

“OKAY WHAT CAN I GET YOU TODAY!?” cried the girl.

“You don’t sound happy!” interjected Simian. “McDonalds promises us yummy food with friendly service! Say it again! But HAPPY this time!” he demanded.

“What he said! Do it right this time woman!” added Tom angrily.

Crimson nodded agreeing. “I CONCUR! Say it like you mean it!”

“Aaaagh! Hi my name is Barbara and I can’t wait to take your order. How may I be of service!?” the girl asked again whilst holding back tears and giving a huge fake smile.

“Much better.” smiled Crimson in a mood swing. She had another mood swing back to demanding. “I WANT A CHEESEBURGER!” She turned to Soma and yelled “What’d T_L want Soma!?”

“He demands a cheeseburger with no vegetables on it, large fries and a large Coke. And if they have them he wants a toy.” groaned Soma.


“I want a Big Mac, no onions, a large fry, and a medium Sprite!”


The girl continued to cry with tears dribbling down her face. She punched in the orders on her computer furiously. Meanwhile her friends played Uno in the freezer as they waited for the MBs to leave so they could resume working.

“Belbell!” shouted Crimson.


“Yes!!! Now you’re catching on my friends!!! Shout LOUD so that the human can hear our order!” smiled Crimson.

Everyone continued to scream their orders at the girl while the girl cried like crazy.

Finally everyone had ordered but Gbleek.


“Your total is…. One thousand and eighteen dollars plus eight cents tax. How will you be paying!?” whimpered the girl working the register.

“Paying? Oh lawd. That’s hilarious! Simiain she thinks we’re paying!!!” laughed Cajun insanely and unable to breathe.

Simian began laughing as well and he patted Cajun on the back. “Hilarious stuff man!”

“We aren’t paying!” said Tom.

“Hope you take coupons!” giggled Zeldafan.

Crimson suddenly dug her hand into her pocket and pulled it back out. She flashed an “Eat Free at McDonalds For Life Card” signed in black ink by the president of the United States, Barack Obama.

The card had the note "To all my friends at Megabuddies, I hope that you enjoy this card as much as I enjoyed meeting you. Thanks for your help once again. Your friend, Barack Obama."

“We got this after we accomplished a mission to prevent a terrorist assassination plot to kill him in Venezuela that the public was never informed about. Yeah it happened!” shouted Crimson.

She put the card away after the girl’s jaw dropped from seeing it.

“HOORAY! FREE FOOD!” cheered all of the MBs victoriously.

The girl blew snot all over her red work uniform and gave Crimson her receipt.

“Order… Order up!” bawled the girl working the register.

End of Act 45

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:08 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 46

Barbara the cashier went to the back where everybody cooked the orders and realized everybody was hiding in the freezer. She immediately ran to the freezer and began pounding on the door with her fists.

“Go away! We’ll open the door when they leave! Come back and get us then!” a dorky teen yelled back in response.

“Yeah! What Bob said!” said another girl as everybody in the freezer nodded their heads.
“AAAGH. You assholes! I think they’re going to kill me if I don’t get them what they want!!!” whimpered Barbara. “At least let me in then!!!”
“NO! That’s when they get you woman! Don’t you watch TV?” shouted Bob.

Everybody in the room continued playing Uno. A Wal-Mart employee sat with them on a box of frozen meat patties.

“Hey everybody I must thank you peoples for letting me store dead kid’s corpse here for me to rape again later after work.” said a fat German man wearing a blue Wal-Mart vest.

The fat German man had been in the backroom and had been the first one to take a bite out of Nathan’s body. He liked it so much he felt like raping him and did so once everybody had left the backroom to hunt down the MBs in the sporting goods department of the store. After raping Nathan he had immediately felt a bit hungry and decided to drop into McDonalds. He had nowhere to place the dead body so that he could rape it again later until after he was done working so he was using the freezer at the McDonalds to keep Nathan’s body in mint raping condition.

“Oh it’s no problem at all Heinrich Von Lardo!” said Bob as he laid down an Uno card. “You’re our best customer! You’ll eat anything! Even baby mice that fall into the deep fryer!”

The German man took a huge bite out of a link of frozen sausages. “Those a baby mice taste very good ja!”

“You aren’t cooking our food?” asked Crimson pissed from behind her.

“Agah!!!” shrieked Barbara. She turned around and looked at Crimson. “You!? How’d you get here!?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Well you aren’t supposed to be back here! Go wait up there.”

“No.” said Crimson blankly.

“Well why are you back here anyway!?”

“We broke ALL the plastic cutlery banging them on the tables. We require new forks, sporks, and knives human. Can you provide such basic luxuries!?” hissed Crimson. “And what do you mean you aren’t cooking our food HUMAN!?”

“Not my fault! They’re all hiding in this freezer!” squealed the girl as she pointed at the metal door.

“They’re locked in there. Really... Well pray that your information has been true. Do not test me human. Step aside human female.” said Crimson.

The girl immediately ran away from Crimson. She didn’t need to be asked twice.

The MB’s eyes began glowing a dark red and her pupils became dilated. Crimson suddenly kicked the door down with super strength. It was odd because for someone her size and build she certainly didn’t look like she had the strength to kick down the door to a locked metal freezer.
The door fell to the ground and employees scattered like roaches to hide behind boxes of frozen food. The fat German man however was too much of a porker to effectively hide behind a small skinny box and the image of him attempting to do so was quite comical.

Crimson’s eyes shifted back to normal and she looked around at all the stupid employees playing Uno on the job in the freezer of all places.


All of the employees began running out from behind the boxes past Crimson out of the freezer to get cracking. They were scared to death.

Heinrich the fat German man reached for Nathan’s body nearby him and held the departed MB upside down by the legs in the air as if he were holding dead rabbits.
The fat man wheezed and began waddling out of the freezer.

Crimson saw the body of her compatriot in his arms and scowled.

“YOU! FATTIE! WHERE DID YOU FIND HIM!?” Crimson demanded to know.


Heinrich held Nathan’s body tight against his chest selfishly unwilling to share any portion of his dinner.

“You’re going to WHAT!?” scowled Crimson enraged at the thought of the fat German man defiling her friend for raping purposes and eating him for dinner.

“You heard me! Ja! Go find your ownz! I caught this one! He’s fresh and meaty and in his prime and he is mine! JA!” grunted Heinrich Von Lardo.
“HUMAN GIRL! DO NOT DISTURB ME!!!" Crimson screamed to Barbara who was in the other room. "No matter what you hear.... Don't come in..." she whispered.

“OK!” the girl screamed back without any delay.

“I need to teach this rapist pig a lesson here…” Crimson said to herself as her eyes shifted back to dark red.

“Oh goody.” smirked Heinrich who thought that she was referring to some kind of dirty foreplay.

Crimson picked up the door and slammed it back upright against the opening she had created kicking down the door. Now she and Heinrich were alone in the freezer.

“I have something to show you...” growled Crimson.
In the main workroom the employees rushing to meet the MBs grueling demands for speedy service suddenly heard faint drowned out screaming.

The employees paused for a second to listen to the noise but it quickly stopped. They resumed preparing the MBs food and everything continued as it was.

End of Act 46

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:12 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 47

The Megabuddies were all banging fresh plastic cutlery on a table that Barbara had brought out to them. Gbleek still stood by the door keeping watch. He poked his head out to have a look see.

Gbleek saw numerous employees and the Employee of the Month snooping around in random places looking for them. One employee with a very low mental capacity was even looking for them under a small black trashcan.

“You guys we need to hurry up. We’re going to have company in a few minutes… They’re not that far away.” announced Gbleek.

“WHERE’S MY FOOD!?” screamed Cajun upon hearing Gbleek. “You’re taking too long! I smite thee! I SMITE THEE!!!”

Cajun hurled a fork at the people flipping patties and they screamed as it melted on the griddle. The black fork sizzled and began smoking as it turned to liquid.

The employees screamed like wusses yet again.

Crimson opened the freezer door and stepped outside holding Nathan’s corpse in her arms. Her eyes were still a dark red. She stared at the departed MB and sighed.

Crimson walked back to the main dining area of the McDonalds and showed Nathan to her friends.

The morbidly obese German man did not follow Crimson after she left the freezer.

Crimson showed her friends the bloody, mangled and raped body of Nathan with tears in her eyes. The Megabuddies looked at him silently. Nobody knew what to say except the Furbies.

“FRESH MEAT!!!” the Furbies chirped to each other in a telepathic mind link.

Simian randomly grabbed a spork on the table and prodded Nathan’s lifeless face. Nathan’s cracked glasses fell off of his face and shattered at their feet.

“Aw great now there’s glass everywhere…” whined Tom.

“It’s no problem. HUMANS!!! CLEAN UP THIS GLASS! WE SHALL MOVE OVER TO THIS TABLE OVER THERE!” shouted Crimson as she pointed at a different table.

The Megabuddies moved over to the new table and laid Nathan’s body down. Crimson's eyes changed back to normal.

“No point in letting him go to waste…” said Cajun mysteriously.

Everyone raised a brow confused as to what Cajun had meant. Cajun then promptly stuck his hand deep into one of Nathan’s pockets. Zeldafan set his golf club to the side when he realized what Cajun was doing and stuck his hands into Nathan’s other pants pocket.

Tom shifted his eyes stealthily and looked at ZF’s golf club longingly. Tom crouched down while everybody was looking at Nathan and picked it up. Tom held it in his hands admiring the bloodstains on the metal that it had acquired from his friend’s frequent heavy usage of the club in close combat.

“Oooooh shiny.” whispered Tom with big eyes.

Cajun pulled out Nathan’s brown leather wallet and opened it up speedily. His jaw dropped and everybody looked at him.

“Aww… I found a wallet… No cash…” sighed Cajun uninterested as he tossed Nathan’s wallet behind him.

Cajun reached his hand into Nathan’s pocket again.

“This is wrong… SO wrong...” whined Belbell who disapproved of the scavenging of her dead boyfriend’s belongings in less than a day, especially on a dirty table at a Wal-Mart McDonald’s.

“And yet I care why again?” scoffed Cajun annoyed.

“The feeling is mutual Cajun.” said Zeldafan as he concentrated on digging in Nathan's pockets.

Zeldafan pulled out a crinkled photograph of Belbell and stared at it.

“Hmm…” muttered ZF as he looked it over.

ZF then folded it up neatly and stuffed it into his own pocket. He shoved his hand back into Nathan’s pocket. There was nothing left however so he pulled it back out disappointed.

ZF turned to pick up his golf club and noticed it wasn't there. He looked at Tom who was whistling nervously.

ZF stood up and punched Tom in the gut violently. Tom relinquished the Holy Golf Club of Doom back to ZF and ZF smiled happily.

The other MBs stared at ZF.

"Wow what was that for ZF?" asked Bloogoo.

"Dude jacked my golf club!" explained Zeldafan.

"Oh ok then! Have fun!" said Crimson.

Cajun pulled out Nathan’s MB adminlyperson cell phone and smiled. Suddenly Soma grabbed it from him.

“That’s not yours.” mumbled Soma as she confiscated it and handed it over to Crimson.

Crimson placed the phone back into Cajun’s hands and turned to Soma. “Oh but it’s okay human. He can keep it. Cajun’s the new lowliest admin.”

“Huh?” asked everybody who hadn’t been there when she had appointed Cajun so.

“Yeah Nathan was being a big baby and tried killing us all. I didn’t like that so I appointed Cajun his successor.” explained Crimson. “He was emotionally compromised and unfit to do his adminly duties. Plus he sleeps late and never shows up at MB HQ much these days.”

Cajun stared at the cell phone grinning. “WOW. My cell phone ACTUALLY belonged to a DEAD PERSON…”

Simian and Laclipsey congratulated him. “CONGRATS MAN!!!”

The Megabuddies finished marauding Nathan’s corpse, against Belbell’s wishes, and resumed banging the plastic cutlery on the table demanding their food.

“Don’t forget the secret sauce!” winked a teenage girl.

“Don’t worry I haven’t.” smirked an acne infested boy as he unscrewed a jar labeled “Warning! Poison! Toxic Waste!”.

The boy stuck a spoon in the jar and scooped up some of the foul smelling poison.

He lifted up one of the hamburger buns and dabbed the toxic waste onto the patty.

The kid put the top bun back onto the cheeseburger and wrapped it up in wax paper.

He gave the burger to the girl who dropped it into a bag.

They resumed doing so until all of the burgers had been tainted.

“Order up!” shouted the employee named Bob.

“FINALLY HUMANS! YOU CALL THIS FAST FOOD!?” screamed Crimson overjoyed.

“Took them long enough…” mumbled Soma crankily.

“I’ll get our food and we’ll be on our way!” announced Crimson as she skipped innocently on her way to the register to pick up their order.

Barbara smiled as she handed Crimson several huge bags of food. She laughed evilly as did all of the employees in the back near the grills and deep fryers.

Crimson looked around obliviously and decided to join in.

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!” Crimson cackled with them.

The employees stopped laughing.

“Okay fine. Don’t laugh then boring humans. See if I feel left out!” shouted Crimson. She dug her hand into one of the bags and pulled out a cheeseburger.

“Hmm… This smells heavenly… I think I’ll have a nibble now.”

The employees began laughing evilly again upon hearing Crimson announce her hunger.

End of Act 47

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:15 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 48

Crimson opened her mouth and raised the tasty cheeseburger to her mouth. The employees laughed more as she moved her head forward to nibble on it lightly as if she were a mouse.

Suddenly she stopped. The employees stopped laughed. They were most upset about what had just happened.

Crimson sniffed it cautiously and her face turned pale. The girl’s face puckered up and her eyes watered.

“Wooo… This smells kinda funny. Hmm… On second thought…” said Crimson.

The employees began laughing again believing that she was going to ignore her nose and eat it anyway. They stopped laughing again when Crimson put the cheeseburger back into the bag.

“AAAGH.” cried the employees enraged.

“I think I’ll eat one of Belbell’s nuggets…” Crimson said to herself as her eyes shifted to Belbell cautiously.

Crimson dug her hand into a bag and found Belbell’s chicken nuggets. She picked one up and put it into her mouth. She began chewing on it happily. Crimson swallowed the crispy chicken nugget and sighed happily.

Crimson began walking back to her friends cheerfully with the bags of food in hand.

The other Megabuddies meanwhile were grabbing tiny ketchup packets for the road.

Gbleek continued to keep watch.

Gbleek checked again and saw an employee searching for the MBs amongst piles of fruit like an idiot.

“Hmm we might have more time on our hands than it would appear…” frowned Gbleek as he observed numerous employees looking for him and his friends in places they obviously couldn’t be hiding.

The leader of Megabuddies reached her friends and suddenly grasped her neck choking and gasping for air. The Megabuddies gathered around their friend as she fell to the floor in seizure like convulsions.

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH HER!?” screamed Bloogoo hysterically.

Crimson thrashed around on the ground as Tom, Laclipsey, Zeldafan and Simian pinned her to the floor.

Zeldafan shouted at Crimson desperately. “Are you choking!? Nod your head if you are!”

She didn’t nod. Her eyes rolled however back behind her socket so that only whiteness was visible.

“Dear god she’s not choking so what’s wrong!?” asked Cajun.

“Oh my god just like Pulp Fiction! We need a magic marker! You know a freaking felt pen! And a syringe! Go go go! She’s overdosed on something maybe!?”

Crimson shook her head insanely as she coughed more trying to breathe. Her legs kicked insanely at Laclipsey and Simian’s faces as they struggled to keep her from hurting herself.

“She’s not overdosed or choking to death! What’s wrong!?” screamed Soma.

Gbleek heard all of the commotion and ran over to aid Crimson.

“I don’t understand what’s happening man! We only poisoned the burgers! She ate a freaking chicken nugget!” screamed an employee. “Even so the poison doesn’t take this long to kick into effect!”

“I know right!?” a baffled employee shouted back.

The Megabuddies heard what the employees were screaming back and forth to each other and they didn’t like it. They didn’t like it at all. Not one bit. They were pissed. Enraged. They wanted justice.

Crimson’s eyes shifted to a dark red shade and she suddenly shoved her friends off of her.

Crimson rolled over on her side and forced several fingers on her right hand down her throat. Crimson gagged and barfed out the tiny chicken nugget onto the floor next to her face.

“Uuuuugh. I ate too much… And I never should have eaten that chicken nugget…” groaned Crimson rubbing her stomach. She suddenly stood up feeling much better. “ANYWAY! HUMANS!!! YOU DARE POISON OUR FOOD!? SCRIBBLE MY BEANS YOU WORTHLESS SACKS OF GLUE!!!”

“HOLY SUPER MONKEY BALLS!!!” screamed an enraged Simian who was jumping up and down like an angry monkey. “Hmm even though I’m mad I don’t know why I said THAT of all things… Hmm…” he thought to himself after screaming that.

“You tried to kill me? You tried to kill the leader? You tried to murder my friends!? Oh you’re so boned…” began Zeldafan as he raised the Holy Golf Club of Doom into the air like a sword. He pointed the golf club at the employees. “I promise you… This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you. Oh wait, what am I talking about? This ISN’T going to hurt me. But… YOU… You are going to be screaming like hell in the next ten seconds.”

Laclipsey let out a furious outburst immediately after ZF said the word "seconds". “BOOM CRACKA SMACKA ABBA DOOM!!!”

“KILL EM ALL!!!” screamed Cajun.

“MY FOOD IS TAINTED!? YOU MUST DIE!!!” snarled Gbleek as he grabbed a plastic knife.

“Poor animals… They died for nothing. Now they’ll never be eaten. They’ll just go to waste…” whimpered Belbell as she sniffled lightly with tears forming in her eyes.

Apparently Belbell didn’t care much that the McDonalds employees had just attempted to murder her and her friends.

“And still I should care about that why?” asked Laclipsey.

“Because the anim-” began Belbell.

“Who cares about the animals Belbell!?” shrieked Soma. “We’ve got bigger problems. These bastards tried to murder me! And they poisoned my food! MEGABUDDIES ATTACK!!!”

Crimson turned to face Soma and pouted. “NO! Only I, Crimson, get to order us around.”

Soma rolled her eyes.

“MEGABUDDIES INITIATE ALL OUT ATTACK SEQUENCE!!! GO GO GO!” Crimson hollered at the top of her lungs.

All of the Megabuddies began running for the employees wanting revenge.

Only Belbell didn’t run with the pack for the same reason. Personally Belbell was only running to attack the employees because everybody else was. Belbell cared about the dead animals that died to make her chicken nuggets more.

"YABBA DABBA DOO!!!" Gbleek shouted as a battle cry as he ran for the nearest employee.

End of Act 48

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:17 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 49

Brad’s furry muzzle was covered in dried blood and his mouth was missing every single tooth. Luckily for Brad he could take comfort in the fact that his gums had healed by now and were no longer bleeding profusely. His body was bruised and heavily battered. He had a shiner around his left eye now and he was gasping for air.

A fist landed on his chest and Brad grunted again. The manager punched him on the side of the face yet again.

“TALK DAMN IT!!!” screamed the manager.

Brad looked at him weakly in silence as if to say “How…?”

“Hmm… I did take away all of your teeth… What was I thinking… Got a bit carried away. Why you can’t talk at all….” the manager noted to himself.

Brad rolled his eyes as he tried licking some of the blood around his face. For some reason it tasted somewhat appealing. He didn’t know why but he figured it had something to do with being a giant carnivorous bipedal fox creature.

“Maybe your partner here would like to talk again…” said the manager.

Shadow heard what he said and began thrashing in his chair clearly not liking where that was going in a desperate last ditch effort to escape unharmed. The manager laughed as Brad looked on unable to do anything.

The manager walked over to Shadow and pulled the potato sack off from the top of the Megabuddy’s head. Shadow looked at him silently in cold fear before making a familiar muffled screaming noise. The manager placed his hand onto Shadow’s face violently and ripped off the piece of duct tape silencing him.

Shadow began squealing like a terrified pig. He actually sounded like the guy making the pig squealing noise in Deliverance that got raped for he was sobbing as well. Brad looked away from him terribly embarrassed that he knew him.

“Why hello boy… You sure got a purty mouth…” the manager laughed a bit as he watched Shadow’s jeans change color to a somewhat darker shade.

“The better to kiss Crimson back passionately with the moment I make her my girlfriend.” Shadow muttered back before bawling nonstop even more.

Urine dripped down Shadow’s legs and onto the floor. Shadow trembled in fear unable to control his bowels and relieved himself right then and there.

“BAH!!! All over my office!?” snarled the manager enraged.

The manager punched Shadow in the nose to reprimand him and Shadow cried out in pain.

“AAAGH! MY NOSE!!! MY SMEXY NOSE!!!” screamed Shadow. Blood began dripping down his nostrils and into his mouth.

The man laughed amused.

“HELP ME BRAD!!! HELP ME!!!” screeched Shadow as the manager punched him in the gut.

Brad closed his eyes hard and tried to convince himself that he was unable to hear Shadow calling for his help.

“Boy. You WILL give me what I need.” coughed the manager as he pulled out a switch blade.

“NO!!! NO!!!” screamed Shadow over and over. “BRAD HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!!” screamed Shadow incessantly.

The manager grabbed Shadow’s face and dug the cold steel into his ear. Obviously this was very painful and not enjoyable at all. It’s obvious that Shadow felt like screaming insanely.

“AAAAAGH!!! AAAAGH!!!” screamed Shadow as the man sliced off his ear. The man laughed as he held the ear up to his face. “Hello. Hello.” He looked at Shadow. “Can you hear me?” He laughed.

Shadow screamed more. “AAAAGH!!! !@#$ YOU!!! AAAGH!”

The manager grinned. “Oh I’m sorry but I didn’t quite understand the meaning of that last action. Care to demonstrate it again!?”

“NO!!!” shrieked Shadow as the man grabbed his face again and hacked off his remaining ear.

“AAAAAGH!!! AAAGH!!!” screamed the Megabuddy as he thrashed around in pain. Shadow began crying and in between tears every word told the manager “I never said I wouldn’t tell you the information you wanted!!! Just stop doing this to me man!!!”

“I know that. I just like doing it.” smiled the owner of the Wal-Mart.

Brad peeked one of his eyes open and looked at Curtis who was shaking involuntarily.

Brad screamed at Curtis unintelligibly due to his unfortunate Wal-Mart manager inflicted speech impediment. “Oaaghaualla dahanoa!!! Oaaghaualla dahanoa oauah!” Unknown to Shadow he was trying to tell him “Don’t man! Don’t do it!!!”

Shadow paid no attention to him. He was much too busy trying to think of a way to get out of his torture.

The manager looked at him and cracked his knuckles.

The store's owner walked over to a closet and pulled out a cat carrier. Something moved inside it and made a mysterious clucking noise.


The manager walked over to Shadow and showed him what was inside. Shadow’s eyes widened with unimaginable terror.

“NO!!! NO!!! NOT THAT!!! PLEASE!!!” yelped Shadow as blood gushed down both sides of his face.

“Shut up!” snapped the manager as he backhanded him for whining.

The manager opened the cat carrier and took out a clucking rooster. The chicken clucked casually and looked at Shadow with unintelligent, beady and vacant black eyes. Shadow screamed for his mother and looked at the poultry as if it was a snake. The red thing on the rooster’s head terrified him insanely for he had no idea what it was or what it was supposed to do if it did have any purpose.

“You don’t have to do this!!!” whimpered Shadow.

“Oh but I want to.” the manager coolly replied back. “By the way this is my friend Charlie. He’s going to be your new playmate. Say hi Charlie.”

The manager shook the chicken violently to enrage it and placed it on Shadow’s face. The frightened chicken screeched and dug it’s powerful yellow talons deep into Curtis’s scalp.

“AAAAAAAGH!!!!” screamed Shadow. “GET IT OFF!!! GET IT OFF!!!”

The man laughed insanely amused and took out his cell phone to record a video.

Brad looked on quite disturbed.

The rooster pecked at Shadow’s head as it scratched him for a few more seconds and then flew off of his head. The rooster flew back into the carrier and the boss shut it closed.

The manager put the cat carrier back up into the closet and locked the door.

“Now to business.” smiled the manager.

Shadow by now was very eager to be best friends forever with the man. He was willing to do anything necessary to get out of what he foresaw in his immediate future.

“Tell me now! HOW DO I GET YOUR FRIENDS!? AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU KNOW!!!” he screamed at Shadow as he whipped out the switch blade again threateningly. “If I at any moment feel as if you are trying to make a fool of me I’ll take something you hold precious. Your balls. Now answer me!”

Shadow liked his balls. He didn’t want to lose them. His mouth opened immediately.

Brad tried screaming at him again but he was unintelligible. “Oaaghaualla dahanoa!!! Aaaahlk bak dahk!!!” Roughly translated by Babelfish Brad was pleading with Shadow to shut up and keep his mouth shut.

Shadow ignored him again. The manager paid him no attention as well.

“All right man! Just let me go! I can be a rat! They trust me man! I can kill them for you! They won’t see it coming!” pleaded Shadow who was being quite heavily sincere about what he was saying.

“Hmm… You do have a point…” said the man scratching his chin.

“Just spare Crimson! You can kill the rest! Except for me…” Shadow added quickly.

“You’re not in much of a position to be making deals kid.” coughed the boss.

“But I’m the only hope you have. You’re never going to be able to catch them before Rogue Claw shows up to make the exchange for the weapons!” argued Shadow.

Brad continued screaming at Shadow to shut the hell up as all of this was happening.

“So you ARE federal agents… You know about my deal with Rogue Claw!” shouted the boss angrily.

“Actually I’m the only one. Everyone else isn’t… They’re really here to buy stuff…” said Shadow.

“Oh…” said the manager looking at his beaten new “pet”. “But you… YOU ARE A FED!!! I’ll kill you…”

“WHOA WHOA WHOA!!! Calm down man! I’m only KINDA a fed!!!” whimpered the Megabuddy. Shadow cringed as the man shook his knife angrily in the air. “The F.B.I just drove up to me in an unmarked black van on the side of the road and screamed at me to get in!!! They briefed me in on strange things I’ve never heard of in my life and told me to infiltrate your store. They said they’ve been onto you and your shady black market arms dealing for years but they haven’t had enough evidence to make a case against you. They needed someone clueless and innocent looking to get a job at the Wal-Mart and snoop around for things to use against you. They needed a new undercover agent since you apparently discovered their last guy and had him executed! I’m sorry please let me live!!! I haven’t told them anything!!! I don’t have a wire on me and I’ve only been here one day. What was I supposed to do!? They offered me funnel cakes!!! FUNNEL CAKES!!!”

Brad’s face twitched in disbelief. “Dah uh fuh!?” It was somewhat obvious to Shadow what Brad asked him.

“I’m sorry Brad.” said Shadow.

Brad didn’t care much for the apology. He was quite pissed now that he had just used his name.

The manager turned to Brad. “So your name is Brad my new pet?”

Brad stared at Shadow and the manager and growled furious.

“So it is…” whispered the boss to himself as he turned back to Shadow. “TELL MORE.”

“What’s there to tell? Just get me a part time job here and spare the girl who I have an infatuation with and I’ll get you what you need. My friends, even my buddy Brad here! They mean nothing to me!!! Just spare Crimson and me!” pleaded Shadow.

Brad’s face contorted with rage and he began shaking in his chair desperately trying to escape so that he could kill Shadow for saying too much.

“I can get you names, addresses, social security numbers, whatever you need. I don’t care just please let me LIVE!!!” screamed Shadow.

“Hmm… You know I’m very concerned about the F.B.I these days… They picked you of all people to be their undercover source? Damn they’re desperate. I didn’t even lay a finger on you and you were already telling me earlier that you were a federal agent. Damn you’re pathetic.”

“WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?” said Shadow enraged.

The boss raised his knife again and Shadow cringed in terror as he soiled himself yet again.

“Hmm… Your prospective offerings do seem to be of value to me… Fine you can have a job working the registers. You *(&%% assholes have wiped out most of my workers anyway… I have many positions open anyhow.”

“Can’t I work in the sporting goods!?” asked Shadow. He didn’t want to work the registers.

“NO!!!” screamed the man raising his knife again.

“I’LL BE GOOD!” screamed Shadow as he peed in his pants one last time.

“Good... Now let’s get you out of these cuffs. I need you out working as soon as you’re imitation ritual has been performed. I shall prepare you for work. Your shift starts as soon as I have readied you for work.”

The boss took off Shadow’s handcuffs and untied him from the chair. Shadow stood up.

“Initiation ritual?” Shadow asked raising a brow.

“Yes. You have to rub massage oil on my chest, chant an evil prayer, sign a legally binding contract and be branded.”

“Branded!?” shouted Shadow concerned.

“Oh don’t worry. It’s much in the same fashion as a cow. You know. They take a hot poker with an emblem on the end of it and stick it on the thing to mark their property. You’re mine now. You owe me a life debt. For I have spared your life. Hence you are my property.”

“How charming…”groaned Shadow. “What’s the marker anyway?”

“It is a Wal-Mart logo with the trademark smiley icon. By the way it’s going on your &*(.”

Shadow’s eyes widened as he thought about the hot metal pressing against the soft flesh on his tush.

Shadow and the manager began walking out of the room. The manager was first out of the room. As Shadow walked past the bloodied Brad he whispered at him. Brad looked at him enraged.

“I’m sorry it has to be this way Brad… But they were going to kill me. ME!!! And Crimson… CRIMSON!!! I know you understand man. I CLEARLY had no choice.” whispered Shadow. “I must make Crimson my girlfriend. I need this job so that I can buy a car to impress our leader.”

Brad looked at Shadow wanting to murder him where he stood especially for his last remark.

“Heh. Guess this means she’s mine now. You lost.” laughed Shadow. “Game over man.”

Shadow slammed the door behind him as Brad screamed at him unintelligibly. Brad was all alone in the room and tied up still. Brad sighed deeply to himself. Shadow was going to kill all of his friends and he had no way of stopping him.

At that moment Brad’s face suddenly began twitching and Phil appeared in his eyes again in a vision.

Vision Brad looked at Phil pissed. “DUDE!!! Do you know what I’ve been through!? I just had all of my teeth pulled out of my gums!!!”

Phil frowned. “I know mate… It hurts like hell but you can always shove the bloody things back in there… They’ll just heal back into place… Or did it not occur to you?”

Vision Brad scratched his chin. “No. Glad I have you as an instruction manual of sorts. You’re very…” Brad paused looking for a word. “Guiding.”

“I’m a spirit animal Brad. I’m supposed to do that mate.” Phil laughed. “Now about this. You’re in a very bad spot here. There’s a way out mate… But it’s NOT going to be very appealing.”

“Oh just tell me Phil. I’m pretty sure nothing can top having my teeth pulled…”

Phil quacked and squinted at Brad. “Mate… You… Need to smash one of your hands…. ”

“What?” asked Brad hoping it was not what he thought it meant.

“I can tell what you’re thinking Brad. It is indeed what I meant mate… Bloody painful it will be… Just like that time Rocky was playing catch with Geo and hit him in the crotch. Rocks have zero sense of coordination.” said the platypus.

“Dear god.” mumbled Vision Brad.

“Yeah. Not very charming. You have to smash the bones in your hand so you can slip it through the metal cuffs… You’re going to have to force your hand. It’s going to hurt like HELL.”

“Thanks for the info Phil…” said Vision Brad.

“No problem mate. And by the way. If you ever see Rocky hurl him into a volcano for me will ya? He’s been stalking me… I woke up last night and he was just sitting next to my bed staring at me with his imitation eyes of his. Been doing this for weeks…”

“Got it!”

“Adios Brad.” said Phil as he disappeared and the vision ended.

Brad looked around in agony with cold sweat on his face.

His head swiveled and stared at his left hand. He bit his lip as he tried to encourage himself to go through with the wild idea that had just popped into his mind.

Brad began forcing his hand and began screaming like crazy in agony. He stopped for a few seconds crying in pain and then resumed pulling on his hand and banging it violently against the chair trying to damage it.

The Megabuddy screamed at the top of his lungs.

End of Act 49

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
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Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:24 pm

The glorious 50th chapter *has been split up so people could read it easier and sooner*. Enjoy! Thanks for reading btw. Or it would have stayed dead at like Part Seven. =] I'm glad I have friends like you all. Very Happy

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 50

All of the Megabuddies stood panting among the bodies of the McDonalds employees lying on the ground defeated. All of the employees were battered and crying except for one man who wasn’t breathing at all and instead had a black plastic knife embedded deeply into the center of his neck and multiple stab wounds all over his back.

Gbleek hulked over the dead employee’s corpse and stomped the remaining exposed inches of the knife all the way through the man’s throat and beat his chest screaming. “FLAWLESS VICTORY!!!”

“What do we do with the prisoners my liege?” Bloogoo asked Crimson as he nodded his head at the moaning injured McDonalds workers.

“Ha! Prisoners. Screw the prisoners. Our food is getting cold. Let us feast! We shall deal with them later.” scoffed Crimson.

“But Crimson they poisoned our food remember!?” added Laclipsey.

“WHAT!? Oh yeah… STUPID INCOMPETENT HUMAN TEENAGERS!!!” screamed Crimson. She kicked a man in the chest repeating the word “FAILURE!!!”

Gbleek looked at Crimson kicking the defenseless man and decided he wanted to join in on the ultra violence with her. Gbleek walked over to another teenager who was lying unconscious on the ground and began kicking him in the gut over and over.

“DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!” chanted Gbleek as he kicked the dude gleefully.

The brave Megabuddies Cajun, Simian, Zeldafan, Bloogoo, Laclipsey, Tom and Soma joined in as well, each kicking a defenseless teenager to teach them a lesson. Belbell didn’t partake in the matter and instead stood to the side tending to her Furbies.

Belbell walked over to the side and leaned her back against a wall as she cuddled her Furbies. Next to her was a hideous statue of the clown Ronald McDonald, the McDonalds pedophile mascot, posed leaning next to two statues of frightened children who were supposed to be “loving it” but not enjoying their playtime with the scary clown.

The Furbies began crying and Belbell looked at them concerned.

Belbell smiled. “I know the fighting is scary but don’t worry babies. Mama is here. Mama will protect you!”

The Furbies wailed louder. “We are not scared Mama! Hungry! Need food Mama!”

“OH! You’re hungry! You poor things… Well our food was poisoned so I don’t have anything to give you…” said Belbell disappointed.

The Furbies cried so loud Belbell’s ears began to hurt. Suddenly Belbell remembered that she had some candy in her purse.

“My babies don’t you worry. I know you’re hungry. I’ll get you something to eat. I just remembered I had candy in my purse.” said Belbell as she took out a piece of milk chocolate and held it up to the Furbies beaks.

The three Furbies sniffed it cautiously and then slowly nibbled on the end of it. The Furbies eyes widened and they gagged in disgust.

“EW! NASTY!” said the Furbies in unison as they spit out the brown chocolate from their mouths.

“What!? You don’t like chocolate my babies?” gasped Belbell surprised.

“MEAT!!!” sobbed the Furbies. “Mama FEED US. We need MEAT!!!”

“But I don’t have any meat…” muttered Belbell.

The Furbies looked at each other hungrily as their electronic bellies grumbled displeased with not being fed fresh meat yet. They looked back at Belbell as she hugged them tightly against her chest.

“Don’t worry my babies. We’ll stop at a Taco Bell on the way home and pick you up some sexy burritos and some beef tacos. You’ll be all right.” Belbell said comfortingly in a baby voice.

The Furbies looked at each other again as they were being hugged.

One of the Furbies began a telepathic conversation with his brothers. “Hey brothers... What’s Mama...?”

The other Furbies thought deeply. “Girl!” one chirped back telepathically.

“What he said. Why?” asked the third Furby.

“She IS a human girl… Right?” said the first Furby.

“Pretty sure…” said the second Furby.

“Yes. Mama is!!! Yes!!!” the third Furby’s mind chirped back.

“HUMANS have MEAT!!!” the first Furby announced excitedly to his siblings.

The third Furby gasped. “Indeed they do brother.”

The Furbies all looked at each other grinning evilly and chirping an evil electronic laugh.

“You don’t mess with the Megabuddies!!!” shouted Zeldafan as he alternated between socking people in the head with his golf club and kicking them in the chest.

Simian shouted at the chick he was tenderizing with his foot at the top of his lungs.

“We claim you prisoner in the name of KONG!!! THE EIGHTH WONDER OF THE WORLD!!!”

“Believe it or not I’m still having some strange craving for McDonalds you guys…” Laclipsey said aloud for anyone to hear who might care as he roughed up a chick groaning something unimportant about being a hemophiliac.

“YOU POISONED MY BURGER!!! NOW I’M GONNA STARVE!!!” shouted Bloogoo as he kicked an employee.

“I stand before here with you at my mercy and at the very ends of my boot heels!” said Tom as he curb stomped the employee named Bob.

Soma hummed the theme to the Legend of Zelda heroically as she beat the crap out of Barbara as the girl pleaded and begged for mercy. Zeldafan heard the familiar tune and began humming it as well as he began practicing his powerful kicks on a different part of the man’s body.

“Stop complaining, you know you deserve no mercy!!!” hissed Cajun as he kicked a man putting his hands together to pray.

The other employees put their hands together and they all began chanting a prayer to the statue of their false idol inside the store, Ronald McDonald, to save them from the group of friends that they had failed to dispose of due to improperly keeping secrets.

“Hey… They’re doing something… Make them stop…” whined Gbleek sadly as he noticed the workers ignoring the painful beatings that he and his friends were dishing out.

The Megabuddies stopped kicking the workers as a sudden sense of paranoia hit them. They looked around the room nervously.

“Something’s wrong… Why are they praying!?” shouted Laclipsey frantically.

“No idea! Maybe they’re praying for us to stop?” asked Soma.

“Let’s just go with that idea and take it into account that we need to kick harder.” suggested Gbleek.

“I like that idea.” said Cajun.

“Ho D Lanor!… Reah ruo thgilp!!! Hguorht ruo evoe fo lla sgniht fsaf doof yam uoy raeh su dna reviled su morf eht slive fo eseht starb. Rui drol dna rotcetorp, D Lanor!!! Tcetorp eht erots rof ew evah deliaf Yar Cork! Esira! Nekawa!!! D Lanor!!! D Lanor!!! D Lanor!!! D Lanor!!!” prayed the employees ominously.

“OH MY GOD!!! DEMONIC POSSESSIONS!!! You guys!!! They’re speaking in tongues!!!” shouted Cajun in terror as he looked at the employees. “Let’s get out of here! Like… now!?”

The employees’ eyes had rolled back so that only white was visible and their bodies had all started twitching like crazy.

“What the hell are they saying!? They’re making no sense.” said Zeldafan.

Soma scratched her head. “Maybe it’s Latin?” She shrugged.

“Hogwash. I say it’s Mad Cow Disease. You work in a place like this too long you’re going to catch it sooner or later.” said Crimson. “These stupid humans are obviously infected and have… THE SICKNESS…” Her eyes got big.

“You’re both wrong…” said Simian.

All of the Megabuddies turned to face their primate loving comrade.

The leader of the group frowned. “What do you mean human!? I am ALWAYS RIGHT. Besides I, Crimson, am in charge and I have final word. IT’S MAD COW DISEASE.” hissed Crimson. “Ew. To think I thought about sucking the blood out of these people too…”

“No. I’m sure.” Simian said again.

“Can you prove it?” asked Tom.

“They’re speaking backwards.” said Simian confident in his answer for their behavior.

Bloogoo laughed. “None of us speak backwards. How the hell do you know what they’re saying?”

“Simian I know we’ve known each other for years and stuff man but Bloogoo has a point…”

“What do you take us for you idiot!?” Bloogoo added.

“Krej deah!!!” Simian hissed at Bloogoo baring his teeth like a wild animal.

“Oh yeah he does understand backwards speech.” said Zeldafan, his memory suddenly rejuvenated.

“What the heck is a krej deah? Some kind of Jewish laundry detergent soap?” asked Bloogoo who failed to realize that Simian was telling him off in backwards speech.

“Simian. Give us a translation. What are they saying.” asked Soma.

Simian looked at the employees again and closed his eyes in concentration.

“D Lanor!!! D Lanor!!! D Lanor!!! D Lanor!!! D Lanor!!! Pleh!!! PLEH SU!!! PLEH SU!!!”

Simian opened his eyes and saw that everyone was looking at him.

“D Ronal seems to be repeated a lot… But if you take the space between the words it becomes a name. Ronald…” said Simian. He bit his lip.

“But Ronald isn’t real. They want to use their last moments praying to Ronald? What the hell?” scoffed Bloogoo.

“No. There’s more. They’re calling for help.” said Simian. “We HAVE to leave now man. Something’s up.”

“No we aren’t leaving.” began Bloogoo. “There’s no such thing as Ronald McDonald! I don’t believe in Ronald Mcdonald!!!”

Laclipsey nudged Soma. “Hey Soma… Think whenever someone says that a clown dies?”

Soma rolled her eyes. “Grow up Laclipsey. This isn’t Peter Pan.”

Zeldafan’s eyes shifted at the employees again warily.

“I’m with my amigo man. Just think about everything that we’ve seen today. Brad’s become some freak of nature, God bless the poor dude…, we’ve fought Furbies, Transformers, Joe Jonas, employees with zombie like attributes, some fat German dude that rapes dead people, these freaks here tried to poison us… There’s something seriously wrong with this store and I feel very strongly that we should do everything humanly possible to leave now.”

“I endorse Simian and Zeldafan’s idea you guys!” said Cajun. “I’m HIGHLY open to the theory that Ronald might be a living thing… Look at what ZF said. What do we know!? NOTHING that has happened today has made sense. What are we doing still using logic!?”

“Hmm… I shall think over these thoughts and try to process them. Please wait as I do so.” said Crimson. “Hmm…. Hmm…. HMM…..”

“EkaT ruo efil ecrof!!! Tcetorp eht niahc!!!” prayed the employees simultaneously right before they all had heart attacks and died at that very second.

Simian turned his head to look at the employees. “They’re all dead!”

Tom looked at them. “What happened!?”

Simian shrugged really fast. “I don’t know! I only caught the last part. Something about protecting the chain. And then they died…”

“I feel very cryptic for saying this and I hate myself for it… But we’re in the deep *!@…” said Cajun.

“Yeah…” said Laclipsey.

“Come on let’s go.” said Soma agreeing.

They looked at Crimson.

“HMM… HMM… HMM!!!!!! Ok I agree we shall go now.” grinned Crimson.

The Megabuddies began walking back towards the entrance.

The eyes of the Ronald McDonald statue in the store suddenly opened and his eyes lit up red. The statue’s polished body began melting away from the surface until it began revealing pale decrepit flesh covered in white makeup and dressed in white, yellow and red clothes.

Finally the animal was free from his imprisonment in the statue, clowns aren’t human, and stretched.

“Ronald McDonald acknowledges.” said the clown gritting his teeth and cocking his head.

End of Act 50

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:28 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 51

The inhuman creature’s head turned to look at Belbell who was still hugging the Furbies tightly and giving them some serious motherly affection.

The Furbies smacked their lips lustfully as they looked over the MB, trying to decide what would be the tastiest part of the girl to feast upon first.

The Megabuddies approached Belbell.

“Come on Belbell! We’re leaving now!” said Laclipsey.

The Megabuddies at that moment noticed the clown standing beside Belbell.

“Dang that statue’s so fugly…” said Bloogoo. "Just looking at it makes my eyes sore." He spat on the creature’s face. “Eat that clown.”

“Wow. It looks SO life-like.” commented Zeldafan.

The clown blinked.

“OH MY GOD!!! HE’S REAL!” shouted Bloogoo.


“What are you talking about Crimson!? This isn’t a story!” argued Soma.

“THAT’S YOUR OPINION MORTAL! I however DO consider my LIFE a story! Cajun’s writing my biography.” she explained.

“Oh…” said Soma sheepishly.

“HOLY SUPER MONKEY BALLS!!!” exclaimed Simian yet again.

“BELBELL LOOK OUT!!!” Tom screamed right as the clown reached out his arm and grabbed Belbell’s neck.

Ronald McDonald lifted her up into the air and growled at her.

“BELBELL!!! NO!!!!” screamed Zeldafan. “SISTER!!!”

Belbell grasped the Furbies with one hand and the clown’s hand with her other. She struggled to pull his hand off of her neck while hanging onto her precious Furbies.

“Eck… ECK!!! ECK!!! LEMME GO!!! ECK… ECK!!!” choked Belbell as her eyes began watering.

The clown laughed and smiled.

The Megabuddies looked on in terror as he strangled their friend to death.

Suddenly the clown scowled. “Why so serious &*(&^?”

Ronald flung the girl up into the air and against the wall on the other side of the room with super-strength. Belbell’s head smacked against the wall and she fell to the ground unconscious.

“OOPS.” Ronald cackled hysterically. “Guess I don’t know my own strength kids!” He laughed more.

“BELBELL!!!” screamed Zeldafan.

“Jesus Christ! This is just about as bad that time I broke Geo’s High School Musical 2 DVD!!!” howled Simian.

Elsewhere in the store, a lone Megabuddy lay dormant and sleeping peacefully in his improvised cryogenic chamber. Inside of the adminobodile’s ice cream freezer Geppy lay completely still unable to move and covered in thick, heavy, ice and looked similar to a popsicle.

Suddenly Geo’s eyes violently opened, shattering ice crystals, upon the words “I broke Geo’s High School Musical 2 DVD!!!” being uttered by Simian.

Geo’s body suddenly erupted out of his ice cocoon and he kicked open the freezer latch with one violent kick. He climbed out of the adminmobile and looked around his strange surroundings.

Geo demanded vengeance and retribution. “Simian...” he hissed. He snarled another name. “Tom…”

Geo maniacally ran out of the adminmobile and into the main store to find his fellow Megabuddies.

Simian briefly zoned out of what was going on and remembered back to that memorable day.

Simian knocked on Geo’s door and Geo answered. Geo opened the door.

“Come in.” said Geo. “I got it all set up!” he squealed.

“All right. Now all we’ve got to do is just play.” said Simian.

Simian had been invited to Geo’s house to play Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock with him until the extreme hours of the day. They were all stocked up on Coke and Red Bull to give them the energy boosts they would need to stay awake.

Geo led them to the TV and Simian noticed that the Wii wasn’t set up. Simian turned to Geo.

“Hey what gives man. I thought you said the thing was set up. What gives?” asked Simian.

“Oh forgot to tell you. Change of plans man. My Wii got the Red Ring of Death and so now we’re going to do something else cool instead!” explained Geo.

“Geo. Wiis DON’T get the Red Ring of Death. That only applies to the Xbox 360…”

“Uh… No it doesn’t?” said Geo slowly as he thought hard trying to think of a new excuse for why he hadn’t set up the Wii.

“No Geo. It DOES.”

“Oh fine damn it. I changed my mind and forgot to call you okay? See… I was at this cool place called Target and saw a magical movie playing on one of the TVs. It changed me… It was good for my… Good for my… Soul…” said Geo rambling on about boring things.

Simian rolled his eyes. “Oh lord… Just hit play I don’t care about you and your shopping experiences…”

Simian sat down on the couch and Geo excitedly ran up and hit play on the DVD player. Geo turned on the TV and Simian saw the title card for the film.


“Nothing. But this DVD has a special karaoke feature on it so we can actually sing with Troy and Vanessa! HERE!! I’LL SHOW YOU!!!” squealed Geo gleefully as he used scene selection on the DVD’s menu.

Simian gasped and looked around for something to cork his ears with. Simian found noting sadly and simply stared at the TV too petrified in fear to move.

Geo chose a scene where Troy expresses his feelings of love to Gabriella though song and the movie began playing. On the screen Troy was dancing and singing and Gabriella was falling head over heels for him.

Simian screamed as the lyrics permeated into his ears and as Geo danced in front of the TV stinging terribly off key with the characters.

Simian suddenly sprung up off the couch like an angry monkey into the air, grabbed the DVD player from up on top of Geo’s television and hurled it at the ground. Simian then jumped up and down over and over until the device was crunched.

Simian sighed extremely pleased with himself. He was safe for now.

Geo looked at the broken DVD player with big eyes. The DVD player suddenly ejected the smashed disc at Geo’s feet.

Geo saw it and screamed. “NOOOOO!!!!” He looked at his friend. “I’m GOING TO KILL YOU!!!” he screamed.

“Hey! You’re over-reacting. I SAVED you.” said Simian confused. “AND you put MY LIFE in danger as well as your own.”

“DIE!!!” screamed Geo as he pulled a knife out of his pocket.

Simian screamed and high tailed it outside. Geo followed.

Simian quickly hid in the garage and turned off all of the lights. Geo walked in and sniffed the air like a predatory beast.

“I know you’re in here… FRIEND…. Come out… I’m not MAD… “ scowled Geo as he walked around in the dark.

Simian grabbed a baseball bat and quietly crept up behind Geo. Simian brought the bat down onto Geo’s head as hard as he could and Geo fell to the ground unconscious. At that moment Simian fled back to Megabudddies Headquarters.

When Geo woke up all he could remember was that his DVD and DVD player were mysteriously broken. Geo also failed to remember his telephone number, social security number, middle name, how to dress himself and how to control his bodily functions.

Simian kept it a secret for good reason. Should Geo ever find out who destroyed his DVD he would kill him in a heartbeat.

Zeldafan and Tom ran to help Belbell as the rest of the group looked at Ronald McDonald and readied themselves for battle.

The clown grinned evilly and opened his mouth revealing large jagged teeth chiseled down to fangs.

“Who wants to play with me kids?” Ronald giggled.

“Dear god… The thing must have been beaten by jocks daily in high school. He was most likely a nerd…” Cajun whispered to Simian.

Simian nodded agreeing.

“We accept your challenge! Let’s dance!” snarled Soma.

“Megabuddies!!! All out super cool people ATTACK!!!” screamed Crimson as the Megabuddies all rushed the clown and dog piled him onto the ground.

Zeldafan and Tom crouched down to help Belbell and saw her bleeding profusely on her forehead from a gaping gash.

“Sister!!! Wake up!” cried Zeldafan as he shook Belbell crazily.

“Come on Belbell. Don’t die on us!” shouted Tom.

Suddenly they heard electronic chirping and both stopped moving. Zeldafan pulled Belbell’s arm away from her chest and the three Furbies hopped onto the floor making dumb innocent baby noises.

“FURBIES!!!” Zeldafan muttered loudly with big eyes.

Zeldafan pulled his golf club out and raised it to bludgeon the toys to death.

“NO ZF!” squeaked Tom frightened.

Tom got in front of the Furbies protectively.

“What the hell are you doing man!? Move!” said Zeldafan as he looked at Tom confused.

“I’m sorry ZF but I can’t let you do this. I made a promise to Belbell.” Tom said sternly.

“WHAT!? These things are evil!!! You and I both know that! Or has your mind betrayed your memory as well as how you think.” snarled Zeldafan.

“I’ve been appointed the godfather of these creatures by Belbell to protect them from you and Crimson. I won’t let you destroy them.”

Zeldafan laughed at him hysterically with a red face and tears rolling down his face. "GODFATHER!?" He continued laughing for a few more seconds and then regained his stern attitude.

Tom looked the other way annoyed.

Behind Tom the Furbies were conversing amongst themselves telepathically.

“Wow what a noob.” said one of the Furbies.

“YEAH! What a *^&^. We’re gonna eat him after Mama too hee hee.” said another.

The Furbies all laughed.

“It seems we have a failure to communicate.” said Zeldafan as he gritted his teeth.

Zeldafan raised his golf club to whack Tom with it but Tom grabbed it and pulled it out of ZF’s hand. Tom raised it threateningly at his friend.

“Stay back man.” warned Tom.

“Dude!!! Jacked my golf club AGAIN!? You’d REALLY end our friendship over these things!?” shrieked ZF.

Tom silently nodded. "Your move man."

"Are you really willing to die for this cause Tom because this seems really out of your usual character...." said Zeldafan.

Tom nodded his head again without any other reply.

ZF sighed and punched Tom brutally in the nose. Tom let go of the golf club to grasp his now bloodied nose and coughed in pain. ZF hugged his golf club.

“Never again my precious.” sighed Zeldafan before leaping onto Tom like a madman delivering random punches to his friend’s face.

Tom and Zeldafan began wrestling on the ground beating the crap out of one another over the fate of the Furbies. The Furbies chirped greatly amused that they could cause such a fight between such good friends.

One of the remaining Furbies nudged his brothers and looked at Belbell. The other Furbies looked at the girl and caught on.

“Heh heh heh.” the Furbies chirped evilly as the minuscule black wheels on the underside of their bodies wheeled them back to their adoptive mother.

End of Act 51

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:33 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 52

Ronald McDonald screamed and suddenly threw all of the Megabuddies off of him with super strength.

The clown hopped onto his feet giddily and began laughing heartily. “Oh you silly kids you know that you shouldn’t be playing so rough with a registered sex offender. I might take it that I’m turning you on as much as you all are doing to me. Oh… I love the young people.” The clown grinned again baring his chiseled teeth. “Who wants to play first?”

Ronald cackled like an insane madman and began tap dancing as the Megabuddies got back up onto their feet.

Crimson raised her arm up at the clown as if she were Phoenix Wright. “I OBJECT!!!” she screamed. “WE SHALL DO NO SUCH THING!!! If you want our hides COME AND CLAIM THEM!!! MEGABUDDIES DEFEND!!! DEFEND ME!!! DEFEND YOUR LEADER!!!”

“I don’t wanna be raped you guys!” squealed Gbleek trembling.

“You shall not hurt these benign creatures!” grunted Tom as he kneed ZF in the crotch.

ZF’s eyes got big and he head butted Tom’s face in retaliation. “What are you!? PETA!?”

They rolled again on the ground as they continued randomly punching and kicking each other.

The clown giggled. “Oh you. Hee hee. You just don’t get it. Hey kids? Mind if I invite some friends over for when I rape you?”

“You will do no such thing!” shouted Simian.

Ronald McDonald began doing the Macarena while chanting “I’m loving it!” over and over.

Suddenly Ronald McDonald’s fellow gang members teleported into the room out of thin air all around the Megabuddies. The Hamburglar, the giant bird thing and the purple creature with a weird shaped head now stood beside Ronald.

“Oops too late. Hope you’re cool with that. If not… Well I don’t really give a crap so whatever.” Ronald laughed as he high fived the Hamburgler.

"OH LORD!!! SAVE US!!!" squealed Gbleek as he struggled to prevent himself from soiling his pants.

"You're afraid of THAT!?" Simian demanded to know. "Look at them Gbleek... Come on man we can take em on. They're some purple thing, some gay burglar, a clown, and a giant chicken!"

"Yeah..." admitted Gbleek.

“What up Ronald?” said the Hamburgler. “Long time no see.”

“THE HAMBURGLAR? But you two are arch-nemesis’s!!!” gasped Soma in disbelief.

Soma rubbed her eyes to make sure nothing was obstructing her vision.

“That’s right girl. It is I, the Hamburglar, and I shall steal your hamburgers!!!”

Ronald explained to the Megabuddies. “Yes it is the Hamburglar. But when the chain is in danger we are required by law to unite as one deadly force. FEAR US!!! FOR AFTER WE KILL YOU WE SHALL RAPE YOU!”

“Just like the fat German man that raped Nathan!!!” gasped Cajun.

The giant bird and purple beast opened their mouths and drooled a little. They weren’t intelligent enough to know how to speak.

“NOW MY FRIENDS KILL THE OUTLANDERS!!!” roared Ronald McDonald as he tapped his squeaky red shoes together three times in some sort of mystical interpretive dance that meant “Kill the fools.”

The Purple Beast’s lip trembled and he growled at the Megabuddies. The Evil Bird squawked and flew for the Megabuddies with her talons extended. The Purple Beast charged towards the Megabuddies as well. The Hamburglar meanwhile tiptoed really gay-like towards the closest Megabuddy, Soma.

“DISPERSE!!! They can’t defeat us all if we all rush them like reckless idiots my minions!” commanded Crimson heroically.

“YES MY LIEGE!” shouted Bloogoo as he crouched down onto all fours like a dog and scampered towards the clown mindlessly.

“Gimme all of your burglars girl!!!” cackled the Hamburglar as he glared at Soma.

Soma rubbed her chin in deep thought. “You do know that you’re not very intimidating... Like… at all.”


“Hopefully you don’t like cheeseburgers because that’s all we have…” said Soma eyeing the huge bags of poisoned food.

“Cheeseburgers heh heh heh. Well unfortunately for you I adore cheeseburgers as well.” the Hamburglar replied while twiddling his thumbs eager to get his hands on her food.

Soma turned her head to look at the poisoned food. The Hamburglar noticed this and grinned evilly.

“HA! HA! HA! FOOLISH GIRL!!! You have given away the position of your treasured burger hoard. And now they are all MINE!!! MINE!!!” the Hamburglar exclaimed greedily.

The Hamburglar lunged to the floor and thrust his hand into a bag full of cheeseburgers. He pulled out a burger and crammed the whole thing into his mouth. He groaned happily as he tried to swallow it like a python.

Suddenly he stopped moving and fell dead on the ground foaming at the mouth.

Soma smirked amused. “Wow that was too easy. Blundering idiot…”

End of Act 52

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
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Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:36 pm

It's hard when I have 4 different things happening at McDonalds. Sorry. I have Tom + ZF, Ronald, the bird and that purple thing. One of the reasons the gay Hamburglar bit it in less than half a chapter. 4 >>> 5. Razz

Anyway yeah I don't show the purple thing at all. Most of it focuses on the bird but it's eventful at least. xD So forgive me if you don't like it. I've done much better in the past. Razz

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 53

The evil bird swooped down at Cajun and Simian, singling them out for dinner, but they leapt under a filthy table to take cover. Meanwhile the purple beast engaged in combat with their friends.

“Holy snap! Did you see the size of those talons?” asked Simian.

“They’re huge. And disturbing looking!” shouted Cajun as the bird landed on the table and began scratching on the tabletop with it’s feet.

“RAWK!!!” screeched the bird.

The bird began pecking insanely on the tabletop and drilling a hole so that it could reach the Megabuddies. It was much too stupid to realize it could just hop on the ground and crawl underneath the table with the MBs to eat them.

“This demon bird is weird!” said Simian.

“We need to get rid of it!”

“DUH! But how Cajun!?”

“Maybe if we distract it with one of our friends it’ll try eating them instead!” Cajun suggested quickly.

“Hmm… How about Gbleek?” said Simian.

“Indeed! He's perfect!” agreed Cajun.

“OH GBLEEK!” Cajun and Simian simultaneously yelled out loud.

“What?” asked Gbleek from somewhere nearby. "I'm kinda busy fighting this purple freak! Make it fast. WHAT!?!?!?"

“RAWK!!!” screeched the bird again angrily.

Cajun and Simian rolled out from underneath the table and began running towards Gbleek.

The bird cocked her head and screeched unintelligently upon seeing the two friends making a run for it. It jumped up into the air and began gliding towards the heroic dynamic duo.

Bloogoo leaped up at Ronald McDonald screeching crazily for no apparent reason other than the fact that he could. Ronald McDonald opened up his arms and caught him in the air.

Bloogoo blinked nervously.

“YES BLOOGOO!!! YOU’VE GOT THIS MAN! I'VE GOT YOUR BACK!!! LEFT! RIGHT! UPPERCUT! GO FOR THE EYES!!! BITE HIS EAR!!!” commanded Crimson from a safe spot away from the battle happily munching on popcorn.

“HEE HEE!!! YOU LIKE TO PLAY ROUGH TOO? Just couldn't wait for me to have my way with you huh!?” giggled the clown sadistically.

“Eat me!” shouted Bloogoo. He spat on Ronald’s face and smacked his noggin against the clown’s pale greasy skin that was covered in white makeup.

“Deal!” laughed Ronald McDonald.

Ronald’s nose suddenly began glowing bright red and making a continual beeping sound.

Bloogoo’s face began glowing red from the light being emitted from the clown’s red nose.

“Oooh… Pretty colors…” said Bloogoo, mesmerized by the pretty red light like an insect.

Bloogoo suddenly felt something overcome him and had a sudden urge that demanded himself to touch the glowing red nose. The Megabuddy raised his hand and placed it on the tip of the clown’s nose.

The Megabuddy squeezed Ronald McDonald’s nose.

“FOR THE LULZ!!!” cackled Ronald at that very moment.

Ronald’s nose suddenly began shaking violently and then shot out a huge red laser at Bloogoo’s face.

The laser melted Bloogoo’s hand off of his body as it shot through it before immediately proceeding to zap Bloogoo’s skull, obliterating it and sending blood all over the wall nearby.

“LOL!!!” shouted Ronald amused, actually saying aloud each letter. "SO FUNNY!!! I SHOULD DO STAND-UP!!!"

Ronald McDonald’s lower jaw stretched down inhumanly and he suddenly thrust his face towards the bloodied stump of a neck that remained on Bloogoo’s body.

He began feasting happily.

“NO!!! BAD BLOOGOO! You were supposed to DEFEND!!! YOU FAILED ME!!! WHY!!! WHERE DID I GO WRONG!?” criticized Crimson from her safe hiding place as she gnawed on a piece of popcorn.

Crimson turned her head to see how her friends were faring against the bird.

Cajun and Simian ran past Gbleek and the bird of prey suddenly saw the smaller human, a weaker prey and much easier target. The giant chicken gave a battle screech and began flying after Gbleek.

“WHAT THE HECK!?” exclaimed Gbleek heavily confused as to why the bird was suddenly attacking him now.

Gbleek hightailed it around the store with the giant chicken flying after him comically.

Simian and Cajun observed what was happening from the side.

“Hey Cajun do you think he’ll be all right? I mean… Should we help him?” suggested Simian concerned.

“Nah. That kid can run like crazy. He’ll be fine. It’ll never catch him amigo.” said Cajun confidently.

Gbleek suddenly slipped on a section of the floor where a kid had dropped his large Sprite and fell epically to the floor.

“AAAGH!!!” screamed Gbleek.

The bird screeched. “RAWK!!!”

The bird dropped onto Gbleek and dug her scaly mustard yellow talons into Gbleek’s shoulders.

“RAWK!!!” screeched the bird triumphantly as she smacked her beak hungrily.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!” Gbleek cried out in unimaginable pain.

The bird began flapping her wings and was soon hovering about six feet in the air, hampered by Gbleek’s body weight, and flying off to find a nice high perch to devour her kill.

“HELP ME!!!” whimpered Gbleek as urine dripped down both of his legs.


Simian and Cajun stared at Gbleek silently.

Simian finally broke the silence. “He got caught... SON OF A…”

End of Act 53

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:39 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 54

Cajun and Simian began chasing the bird around the room as it carried their annoying troublesome friend around the McDonalds to certain death.

“Help!!! Help ME!!!” demanded Gbleek.

“WE’RE TRYING DAMN IT!” grumbled Simian as he and Cajun ran around like idiots waving brooms in the air trying to knock Gbleek out of the bird’s grasp.

“YEAH!!! So just… shut… UP!!!” screamed Cajun.

“WELL TRY HARDER!!! I can’t save myself you know!” whined Gbleek.

“RAWK!!!” screeched the bird randomly.

“You WILL admit defeat Tommy boy and surrender to me!” snarled ZF as he sent a blow onto Tom’s face.

Tom spat blood onto ZF’s face and punched him back. “NEVER!!!”

“All you have to do is let me kill the Furbies fool! Just let me do what I must!”

“I would rather suffer the destruction of Earth a thousand times then give in to the likes of you! You won't kill the Furbies without killing me first!” hissed Tom.

ZF rolled his eyes and punched Tom again. “THEN YOU SHALL DIE AS ONE OF THEM!!!”

Tom head butted ZF and they rolled on the ground yet again.

Laclipsey and Soma were battling the purple beast and leaving the clown alone as it enjoyed it’s happy feast. As long as the clown was feasting he seemed a bit too preoccupied to attack them and they figured that it would be better to concentrate all their manpower on one foe.

The purple beast grabbed Laclipsey and lifted him up into the air.

“LET ME DOWN!” screamed Laclipsey.

“Duh….” groaned the purple beast as he began trying to snap Laclipsey in half above him.

Soma suddenly came flying at the creature in the air and drop kicked the purple beast in the gut. In pain it dropped Laclipsey to the floor.

Laclipsey landed on the floor at the creature’s feet and kicked it in its crotch with one of his feet to no effect at all. Soma however landed like a cat, perfectly on her feet and punched the creature in the face.

“Duh…” groaned the purple beast.

“He’s too blubbery to be hurt! He has no weak points physically!” said Laclipsey in horror.

“Duh…” groaned the purple beast.

“TAKE THIS FOUL DEMON FROM THE CORNERS OF THE EARTH!” screamed Soma as she grabbed dual cleavers and leapt at the purple beast.

“Duh…” groaned the purple beast.

“No Soma! It is too dangerous! It will surely be the death of you!” screamed Laclipsey in fear.

“Duh…” groaned the purple beast mindlessly.

“AAAAGH!!!” screamed Soma as she began hacking all the blubber off of the creature with the insane reflexes of a puma.

The creature blinked mindlessly. “Duh?”

“NO SOMA! NO! NOOOO!” screamed Laclipsey.

“DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DON’T TREAD ON ME!!!” screeched Soma as she started chopping off the creature’s arms.

“Duh…” groaned the purple beast.

The purple beast looked at Soma and raised an arm to strangle her neck. Soma hacked it off almost immediately.

“DUH!!! DUH!!! DUH!!!” whimpered the creature in pain. “Duh…”

The creature raised it’s other hand and Soma cut it off too as Laclipsey pleaded for her to stop engaging it in close combat.

“It shall overpower you! We must hit it from far away! Noooo!” screamed Laclipsey.

“Shut up and help or just stay out of it completely Laclipsey!” complained Soma.

Soma finally kicked the creature away from her and swiped a cleaver at the beast’s neck, slitting it’s throat. Green blood gushed out of it’s wound and the creature gurgled for a few seconds.


“Go back to hell and tell the Hamburglar… Soma says hi.” Soma told it as she watched it die.

The creature death rattled and fell dead on the ground at Soma’s feet. It’s body twitched as green blood pooled everywhere on the floor.

“Ah… So that’s what color you bleed.” smirked Soma as she tossed the dual cleavers onto the ground and pulled out her paper-mache shank.

Soma crouched down next to the purple beast’s body and twisted his neck until a snap was heard. She then began slicing off the scalp of the creature, humming as she worked.

Laclipsey’s eyes widened. “Soma I’m NEVER going to tread on you. Please don’t hurt me…”

Soma stood up and raised the bloody scalp of the creature grinning insanely. “Heh heh heh.”

Soma put the scalp into her purse on top of the scalp of the Hamburglar.

“Tommy you need to stop doing this. Come to your senses man! What’s come over you!? They’re evil! They broke out of their boxes and tried to kill us! They wanted to peck out our eyes and have us for dinner! We aren’t on the menu dude!” said Zeldafan as he elbowed Tom in the face.

Tom grunted and punched him back. “They’re just innocent little creatures man! They are peaceful loveable animals. We are ALL God’s creatures!”

“They were made in JAPAN!” ZF punched Tom in the gut and they rolled over on the ground. “And they’re evil man-made things that need to be sent back to hell, or wherever the idea to make them came from!”

Look at them! They’re harmless, sweet little creatures! And you have no place in this world to choose what lives and dies. They have the right to choose for themselves!”

ZF kicked Tom and looked at the Furbies and began screaming insanely. Tom stopped punching ZF and looked at the Furbies too. Tom’s jaws dropped in bewilderment and he began screaming as well. They both stood up and rushed to Belbell’s side.

“SISTER!!!” cried Zeldafan.

“What the heck!? You sick little shits! Bu... Bu.. But I DEFENDED YOU!!!” screamed Tom.

One of the Furbies heard Tom and laughed.

Belbell was dead, her final motherly gift to her babies being a hot meal out of her own remains, the Furbies had ravenously eaten her alive. The Furbies were on top of her body ripping off strips of flesh, her eyes had already been pecked out, her lips ripped off, her ears were missing, and random chunks of flesh were missing here and there.

“NOOOOOOO!!!” screamed Zeldafan as tears of rage formed in his eyes.

Zeldafan sank to his knees and put his hands behind his head as he watched the Furbies hungrily dining on his sister. Tom was speechless.

“Tom… So you know…”


“You’re a %&%#.” finished Zeldafan. “It’s YOUR fault she’s dead! If you hadn’t interfered with my duties we could have saved her!”

“You can’t place all the blame on me…” mumbled Tom nervously.

ZF squinted at him and took out the Holy Golf Club of Doom. ZF stood up and bonked Tom on the forehead really hard with the club displeased and suddenly screamed.

Zeldafan raised the Holy Golf Club of Doom into the air and a light from the ceiling reflected off the surface of the metal back onto ZF’s face epically. It was as if it was a sign from God.

“Ooooh.” said Tom. He whistled impressed. “You’re in for it now Furbies. I think he’s about to go total berserker on your hides. You have like five seconds to start running before he kills you where you stand…”

“I know now what I must do…” Zeldafan whispered to himself.

The Furbies ignored him as they swallowed chunks of meat whole. A Furby burped and then resumed eating.


Zeldafan had now obtained the full attention of the demonic toys. They looked up at ZF and his golf club and screamed in terror. All the Furbies bailed from where they were standing and each fled in a separate direction.

ZF singled one out and began chasing after it while screaming bloody murder.

Tom whistled impressed. “Go get them man! Kick their furry asses!”

“AAAAGH!!!” screamed ZF ferociously.

“EEEEK!!!” screeched the Furbys in fear.

“Bad toys, bad toys! Whatcha gonna do!? Whatcha gonna do when ZF comes for you!?” Tom shouted after Zeldafan.

End of Act 54

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Cajun Canine

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Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:44 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 55

One of the Furbies fled to Soma and began pecking at her feet as if it was kissing them, begging for mercy and for her to hear his plight.

“GIRL THAT IS NOT A GIRLY GIRL! NOT GIRLY GIRL LIKE MAMA! JUST GIRL! MAMA DEAD! NEED NEW MAMA! HELP PLEASE!?” it chirped at her with tears rolling down his face.

Soma looked down at the pathetic creature. “Why hello there little one!”

“GIRL! Will you be my new Mama? Feel my soft fur! Pet me! Love me! Adore me! Save me from evil kid trying to hurt me Potential Mama!” whimpered the Furby as it kissed her feet several more times.

“Who’s the evil boy little creature?” asked Soma.

“Pain in my @%^# with Golf Club murdered Mama and then brothers! I BARELY escape massacre Potential Mama! I’m all alone in this world with nobody to look out for me.”

The Furby looked up at Soma hopefully as it awaited a response.

Soma immediately saw through it’s deceitful story. Soma’s first thought had went to the Holy Golf Club of Doom. “ZF isn’t a murderer. What the !@#$ does this thing think it is!? And Belbell’s like a sister to him. He wouldn’t kill her! What the hell!?"

“Waaaagh!” wailed the Furby in tears.

Soma crouched down and picked up the small Furby. “There there it’s okay little one. Your new mama’s here to protect you. You’re safe now!” said Soma comfortingly.

“YAY! NEW MAMA!” exclaimed the Furby giddily. “I wuv you New Mama! Love me! Pet me! Feel my soft fur!” it chirped as it purred happily.

“Shh… Shh…. Quiet now… We don’t want the mean man to find you do we!?” gasped Soma.

“NO! NO!!! NOT THE MEAN MAN!” squealed the Furby frightened.

“Then be quiet.” said Soma. She began rocking the Furby back and forth in her arms like a baby while humming a lullaby.

“FEE FI FO FUM! YOU CAN’T ESCAPE ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DUMB!” screamed Zeldafan as he chased after a fleeing Furby.

“EEK!!! EEK!!!” screamed the Furby.


“NO! EEK!!!” screeched the Furby as it continued running under a bunch of tables in hopes of avoiding a most painful death.

Zeldafan followed the creature like Micheal Myers, relentless in the hunt for his prey, simply tossing the tables in his way effortlessly to the side as he followed the creature in a straight path.

“I NO WANT DIE!” whimpered the Furby.


“OH SHUT UP GBLEEK!” shouted Simian.

“RAWK!!!” screeched the bird randomly as it smacked her beak hungrily.

“NO YOU SHUT UP! I’M GONNA BE EATEN BY BIG BIRD DAMN IT!” Gbleek snarled in a temper tantrum. “AAAGH!!!"

“This isn’t Big Bird Gbleek! Big Bird doesn’t wear clothes!” pointed out Simian.


“YOU AREN’T THE BOSS OF ME!!!” screamed Gbleek as he hurled his shoe at Cajun’s head.

“THAT’S IT SCREW YOU!” shouted Cajun enraged. “I HOPE YOU DIE SLOW!!!”

“YEAH!” added Simian. Gbleek’s other shoe whacked his skull. “JERK HEAD!”

“Soma! Laclipsey! Save Gbleek!” commanded Crimson from the sidelines upon noticing the frustrated dynamic duo abandoning their efforts to rescue Gbleek.

“Aw… Do I have to!? I’m kind of busy!” shouted Soma as she was rubbing the underside of the Furby’s chin.

“I wuv you New Mama!” it chirped happily.

Soma laughed inside her head. “Sure… Sure you do. For now… Heh heh heh.”

“YES! I am irreplaceable and invaluable to Megabuddies as the leader. Thus I must make the horrific sacrifice of standing on the sidelines while my minions do the dirty work in combat. It is a sacrifice that I am willing to make for your well being Soma!” Crimson assured her making no sense at all.

Crimson looked at Ronald McDonald who by now only had a single leg left to devour. How he could stomach a whole body in less than five minutes was amazing, like something straight out of the Twilight Zone.

“Yummy yummy yummy I got some kid in mah tummy and I can’t stop eating you! Fresh meat is such a sweet thing it’s a good enough to eat thing…” sang the clown cheerfully in-between mouthfuls of flesh.

“FINE… We’ll be right there!” groaned Soma. She looked at Laclipsey. “YOU. Go ahead of me. I have something important I need to do that just can’t wait.”

“Aw crap…” moaned Laclipsey unhappy with the fact that duty called.

Laclipsey ran off.

Soma looked at the Furby and smirked evilly. The Furby looked at her innocently with glossy eyes.

“I wuv you New Mama! Love me! Pet me! Feel my soft fur!” it chirped happily.

“First let’s get you cleaned up first. You’re kinda greasy from playing on the floor in here.” smiled Soma.

“Ok Mama. Then you will LOVE ME. And PET ME. And FEEL MY SOFT FUR NEW MAMA!!!” cackled the Furby evilly.

Soma laughed evilly as well.

“HELP!!! HELP ME!!!” insisted Gbleek demandingly as the bird flew around in the air with him in it’s grasp.

Simian and Cajun were watching it fly around in circles and getting dizzy.

“This is pretty boring.” said Simian.

“I know! Why can’t the bird just pick a spot and eat him already!? This is getting annoying!”

Laclipsey suddenly ran up to Cajun and Simian. “Broom please?” asked Laclipsey. Cajun tossed him his broom. “Thanks!” said Laclipsey.

Laclipsey began chasing the bird around the room waving the broom around like an idiot.

“GBLEEK GRAB ONTO THE BROOM!” shouted Laclipsey.

“HOW!? With my feet!? I can’t reach it you *(&%% idiot! AAAAGH! You hate me! I KNEW NONE OF YOU WERE MY FRIENDS. I HATE YOU ALL. I WANNA DIE!!!” Gbleek complained.

“SHUT UP I’M TRYING!!!” grumbled Laclipsey as he jumped up and down in the air trying to whack the bird with the broom.

Soma set the Furby down in a metal sink and looked at him lovingly. The Furby smiled and chirped like a baby bird mindlessly.

“Let’s wash this blood and grease off of your nice fur…” said Soma as she reached for the water nozzle.

“YES! LOVE ME! PET ME! WASH MY SOFT FUR!” said the Furby.

Suddenly Soma’s hand grabbed a nearby meat hammer instead and she bashed the creature violently in the head with it.

“WHAT THE !@#$ WAS THAT FOR YOU *(&%% &*(&^!? I’LL KILL YOU NEW MAMA!!!” roared the evil Furby.

Soma set the meat hammer down.

“DIE YOU LITTLE CRETIN!!!” cackled Soma as she took out her shank with one hand and pinned the small Furby to the ground with her other.

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME NEW MAMA!? PUT THAT UP *(&%% &%$!” screeched the Furby as it spat at Soma’s eye.

Soma growled and began skinning the creature alive.

“AAAAGH!!!! STOP NEW MAMA STOP!!! &*(&^!!!” the Furby screamed in pain.

Soma grinned.

“You’ve got this Laclipsey you’ve got this man!” shouted Crimson as she cheered her friends on. Suddenly her attention turned to a cockroach attempting to scale a nearby wall. “Yeah Mr. Cockroach you got this! It’s good man! You got it! You can do it! Heck yeah! Woohoo!!!”

“RAWK!!!” screeched the bird randomly.

Soma had worked fast and had brutally skinned the creature alive within a matter of seconds.

She hacked off the scalp of the Furby and dropped it into her purse alongside her other trophies such as Joe Jonas’s scalp, which she had nicked when none of her friends were paying any attention.

“WHAT NOW!? You can’t kill me New Mama. I’m your baby FOREVER!” laughed the Furby.

Soma cocked her head. “Oh really?”

The girl set the Furby down on top of the garbage disposal’s hole and grabbed the meat hammer. The Furby panicked when it saw what she was about to do.


“Deal or no deal? Hmm…. NO DEAL!” shouted Soma as she whacked the Furby forcefully down the garbage disposal.

“STOP IT &*(&^!!! AAARGH! THAT HURTS!!!” complained the Furby.

“You think it does. But it gets better.” laughed Soma. She flipped the garbage disposal switch. “See you in hell my "son".”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!” screamed the Furby as it was chopped up alive in the blender used to destroy excess food.

Soma ran off to help Laclipsey.


“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!!!” screamed Laclipsey angrily.

“MAKE ME! I wouldn’t HAVE to if you would just SAVE ME!!!” hissed Gbleek.

Soma ran up next to Cajun and Simian and then looked at Laclipsey. She rolled her eyes at his pathetic attempts to save Gbleek.

“Step aside!” she shouted at Laclipsey as she grabbed Simian’s broom.

Soma broke off the end of the broom so that the end was pointy like a spear and began running for the giant bird head on.

“SOMA! SAVE ME!!! SAVE ME!!!” whined Gbleek.

“RAWK!!!” screeched the bird as it randomly plopped a white turd on a tabletop mid-flight.

Soma leapt up into the air and hurled the broomstick at the bird. The improvised spear impaled the bird and sent it spiraling down to the ground. As it fell down to the ground it released Gbleek from it’s grasp.

Soma landed nicely on her feet like a cat.

“DAMN she’s good.” Cajun said aloud.

“Damn she’s good. Good, good like Sideswipe!” added Simian.

“DAMN I’m good.” thought Soma.

“CATCH ME SOMA!!! CATCH ME!!!” demanded Gbleek as he was falling.

Soma ignored him and Gbleek instead fell on top of a counter full of condiments.

“WHAT THE HELL!?” whined Gbleek. “You didn’t catch me Soma…”

Soma ignored him further and walked over to the body of the groaning bird lying on the ground unable to move with the broomstick sticking out of it’s bleeding body.

“Rawk!?” said the giant bird mindlessly.

The girl suddenly brutally curb stomped it in the head until it stopped moving. She whipped out her shank and crouched down next to the bird’s head and began to collect her trophy as her friends looked on horrified.

“What is she doing…?” asked Simian.

“I do believe that she is scalping it…” said Cajun nervously.

“Indeed she is.” confirmed Laclipsey.

“Aaagh!” gasped Cajun and Simian.

Soma stood up raising the bird’s scalp with a beaming smile and then suddenly stopped when she realized she was doing so, she greatly disliked smiling, and put the bird’s scalp into her purse.

“So who’s left?” she asked her friends.

“THE CLOWN!!! BUT DON’T WORRY YOU GUYS!!! I’LL HELP YOU WITH HIM! He’s no match for my VAMPIRE POWERS!!!” shouted Crimson from the sidelines as she skipped happily up to the group of Megabuddies.

“Wait a second! You sat out that entire fight!?” asked Simian pissed.

“Uh yeah… I am the leader. It wouldn’t be nice of me to die and leave you leaderless right Simian?” said Crimson. “Si? No? Whatever let’s ignore this and change the subject!” she smiled.

“Fine…” Simian grumbled.

“Anyway like I was saying. All that’s left is… Ronald McDonald himself…” said Crimson ominously.

The close group of friends all turned their heads and looked at the insane clown who was grinning evilly and sucking the blood off of his fingertips.

“So damn good. Why I do believe that I have room for seconds! Who’s next in line for playtime kiddies!?” asked Ronald McDonald. He began laughing insanely like your typical insane madman. “HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!”

End of Act 55

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Cajun Canine

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Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 10:57 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 56

Tom walked over to his friends and stood alongside them ready for the inevitable battle.

“Tom here, reporting!” Tom told his buddies.

“So you decided to show up after all…” smiled Simian.

Tom grinned. “Shut up Simian.”

“Make me!” said Simian.

“Don’t make me hurt you! Quiet boy!” insisted Tom.

“Shut up there’s a homicidal clown at twelve o’ clock remember!? JEEZ…” snapped Soma right before face palming embarrassed that she hung out with a bunch of argumentative and easily distracted twits.

Ronald smirked and rolled his eyes, amused that the heroes dared challenge him.

“Your asses are all mine kiddies! And there is no escape for any of the lot of ya! You’ll all be raped be me! You’ll all get your turn! Just watch! You’ll see! My skills are a force to be reckoned with! YOU WILL NEVER MAKE ME BLEED MY OWN BLOOD!!!” snorted the clown with maniacal laughter.

“You bleed the blood of other people? Like who you eat!?” asked Cajun in amazement.

“YES!!! AND NOW I SHALL VICIOUSLY RAPE YOU ALL! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!” giggled the clown amused at his bodily functions as his inhuman nose began glowing red again charging his lasers.

“Nuh uh!” yelled Crimson greatly disagreeing. She stuck her tongue out in defiance.

“YEAH HUH!!!” cackled Ronald.

“OH REALLY!?” shouted Crimson.

“YEAH REALLY!!!” giggled Ronald.

“WE’RE GONNA DIE CRIMSON! HIS NOSE!!!” screamed Simian. “WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING! THE… THE… THE EVIL CLOWN!!!” Simian pointed at Ronald McDonald shaking uncontrollably.

“You can’t cheat death kiddies!!! This is your destiny! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!” exclaimed the animal gleefully at the top of his lungs.

Ronald McDonald’s nose suddenly stopped glowing and a huge red laser beam violently shot out of the tip of his red nose heading right for the Megabuddies.

“NO!” shouted Laclipsey and Soma simultaneously.

“JERK HEAD!!!” screamed Simian, unprepared to meet his maker.

“AAAAGH!” shouted everyone else in pure terror with the exception of their leader.

Crimson swiftly put her arms out in front of her body, thrusting her palms forward.

The leader of the Megabuddies cried out “HADOKEN!!!”

A blue blast of blue energy shot out from Crimson’s hands and went flying towards the clown’s lasers.

“Oooooooooooooooooooooh!” cooed Crimson’s friends in awe.

All of the flies in the room flew as fast as they could into the Hadoken, eager to touch the shiny, bright blue light and were instantly incinerated. About two seconds later the Hadoken and the clown’s lasers collided and created a huge fiery explosion between the Megabuddies and the Clown.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” gasped Crimson’s friends in amazement.

Soma whistled impressed.

“STREET FIGHTER!? What the hell!? Crimson you never fail to surprise me!” said Cajun impressed. Cajun ran up and gave Crimson a huge bear hug. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you… Never… ever… stop… Being… so… freaking… WEIRD.”

Crimson squeaked frightened as Cajun began squeezing her tiny frail body. “EEEP. MORTAL. RELEASE… MEH…”

Cajun let her go and Crimson began inhaling loudly in desperate need of air.

“YOU IMBECILES!!! How DARE you interrupt the natural circle of life! This is your destiny and you shall NEVER avoid it! Now you will DIE at my hands! IT IS MY DIVINE RIGHT!!!” shrieked Ronald McDonald hopping up and down enraged.

Ronald let out an inhuman scream and ran towards the Megabuddies flailing his arms around in the air randomly.

“He’s going to try and eat me!!! Oh my god!!!” screamed Tom hysterically, sounding rather homosexual in the delivery of his lines.

“Be careful! Take evasive action!” advised Soma quickly.

“DIE!!!” screamed Zeldafan as he hurled a Furby into an oven and slammed the door shut.

“EEEK!!!! EEEK!!! I’LL RAPE YOUR MOTHER AND SWALLOW YOUR SOUL YOU DIRTY LITTLE BRAT!!! YOU’RE EXACTLY WHAT GBLEEK CALLS YOU!!! A GIRLFRIEND STEALER YOU FILTHY MAN &%$!!!” squeaked the Furby in a demonic voice as it pecked violently against the glass.

“You will burn in hell for crimes against the earth. Hail to the king baby.” growled ZF as he turned the knob on the oven to full blast.

“I smell gas! Let me out! It stinks in here you little *!@!” demanded the Furby before it suddenly burst into flames. “AAAAAAAAGH!!! AAAGH!!!! MOTHER******!!! YOU’LL BURN FOR THIS!!!” it screamed as it flung it’s body as hard as it could repeatedly against the glass door trying to escape.

ZF silently walked away from the oven epically in hunt of new prey as the Furby roasted to death in the oven.

Crimson roundhouse kicked Ronald McDonald against the wall. Ronald landed against a framed paper showing that they had failed their last health inspection and the glass frame shattered sending glass everywhere.

Soma ran up and bopped him in the nose. “TAKE THAT CLOWN!!!”

“You look good enough to eat little girl...” whispered the clown before bursting into laughter deliriously.

Ronald reached out his hand and pulled the Megabuddy up against his body. He wrapped his arm around her and groped the girl’s butt.

“IT’S GOT SOMA!!!” shouted Cajun in fear for his friend's life.

“MEGABUDDIES!!! DEFEND!!!” commanded Crimson.

“I’m trying to decide what’s next on the menu…. Should I start with the &*( or the face? Which sounds more yummy? Any suggestions little girl?” Ronald smacked his lips at her and laughed more as Soma squirmed trying to escape his grasp.

Laclipsey grabbed some plastic utensils from a table and hurled them at Cajun who hurled them in the air to Soma.

“You mother…” screamed Soma as she caught a spork and stabbed it into Ronald’s left eye.

Eye juice squirted out onto Soma’s face.

“MY EYE!!! MY *(&%% EYE!!! YOU LITTLE &*(&^!!!” screamed Ronald as he let her go and began thrashing around the room in pain.

Soma grabbed the end of the spork and pulled the clown’s eye out of his eye socket.

“AAAAGH!” screamed the clown.

ZF grabbed the other Furby.

“You’ll pay for what you did to sister!” ZF told it as the Furby crapped itself in ZF’s hand.

“BITE ME &*(&^! A HEH HEH HEH HEH!!! A HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!” cackled the Furby amused.

“Maybe…” thought Zeldafan.

The Furby looked at the Megabuddy in horror.

“You ate sister… I’ve saved the best for last foul creature from hell…”

“BRING IT!” hissed the Furby. It spat in ZF’s eye.

ZF blinked and then shoved the top of the Furby’s head into his mouth. ZF began gnawing on it trying to tear it apart into smaller bite size portions.

“EEEK!!! EEEK!!!” whimpered the Furby as it began sparking in ZF’s mouth.

ZF continued eating the Furby alive.

Soma gouged out Ronald’s other eye. “NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER!!! ONLY BROTHER CAN TOUCH ME INNAPROPRIATELY!!!” she screamed at the top of her lungs in a fit of rage.

“COOL IT &*(&^!!! AAAGH!!!” screamed the clown as more eye juice splattered onto Soma’s face.

“DIE!!!” shouted Soma as she shoved the clown away from her towards Crimson.

The clown’s arms suddenly stretched really long and began swinging madly in random directions as a sort of last defense. Ronald punched Tom out cold right between the eyes and hit Laclipsey in the gut.

Suddenly Cajun grabbed a broken piece of a chair and whacked it down hard on the clown’s right arm until he heard the bone snap.

“AAARGH!!!” growled Ronald.

Ronald began charging his nose lasers again.

“His nose!” shouted Simian.

“QUICKLY! WE DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME!!!” shrieked Soma as she grabbed a mop and began whacking the clown in the face brutally non-stop. “DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!”

Ronald simply giggled amused at the team’s attempts to put him down for good.

“You’re doing it wrong! Like THIS pathetic humans!” sighed Crimson as she leaped into the air and drop kicked Ronald, sending him flying in the air towards the deep fryer in the kitchen.

Ronald landed against the deep fryer and Crimson ran over and turned it on. “Hasta la vista… Clown… You are terminated.”

Ronald laughed out loud.

Crimson grabbed the clown’s head with one of her hands and savagely dunked his face under the bubbling grease.

The clown screamed and his body began twitching and kicking violently.

“HELP ME HOLD HIM DOWN!” demanded Crimson demandingly.

Simian, Cajun, Laclipsey and Soma ran over and held the clown’s body still as Crimson deep fried the clown’s head.

Suddenly the clown stopped moving. All of a sudden his body exploded, sending blood, candy, and confetti all over the place. The sound of otherworldly clown laughter echoed throughout the room one last time and then suddenly stopped.

Candy and confetti continued falling down to the ground.

Soma scalped the clown and added her trophy to the contents of her purse.

Everybody was silent until the last piece of candy fell to the floor. Once the magical candy stopped raining onto the ground the Megabuddies looked at all of the candy on the ground.

“YAY!!! Candy!” exclaimed the Megabuddies delighted at the sweet treats of questionable origins.

The group at that moment all dove to the ground greedily, every MB for themselves, in an all out mad scramble to collect as much candy as possible before the others could.

“Simian hands off that Mr. Goodbar… That’s MINE.” snarled Soma, flashing her shank at her amigo mercilessly.

Simian’s eyes widened and his hand retreated off the girl’s contraband, fearing he’d be stabbed if he didn’t comply.

"Mmm... Floor candy!" commented Crimson gleefully as she crammed her mouth full of M&Ms.

Everyone continued fighting over the candy as ZF walked up groaning in pain about his intestines and stomach hurting.

“My stomach hurts… My intestines too… I don’t feel so good… But it was worth it you guys… HEY! Is that candy!?” exclaimed ZF suddenly feeling better.

ZF’s body suddenly puked out the dead Furby all over the floor in an attempt to make more room for the candy. The vomit however splattered all over the floor and on top of most of the candy.

“ZELDAFAN WHAT THE HELL!?” exclaimed Cajun as he shivered in disgust, wiping his hand on the back of an unconscious Tom’s shirt.

“THAT’S IT MISTER! FOR RUINING MOST OF OUR CANDY NO CELEBRATORY T.G.I FRIDAYS FEAST FOR YOU!!!” shouted Crimson. “BLEGH… BLEGH…” gagged Crimson as she looked at the ruined mound of candy she had amassed next to her covered in rancid vomit.

“Aw…” sighed Zeldafan depressed.

End of Act 56

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Cajun Canine

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PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 10:59 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Act 57

Brad was sweating like crazy and panting miserably in pain as his mangled left hand rested on his lap. His hand was moving involuntarily and shaping back into form as the bones inside the hand healed up. Brad groaned in excruciating unimaginable pain and felt like he would pass out from being unable to bear it any longer. His lip trembled and he whimpered before screaming in pain as one of the bones fixed itself.

“AAAAAAAAAGH!!!” screamed Brad as he thrashed around violently where he sat.

“Grab as much candy as you can that ZELDAFAN didn’t ruin everyone.” ordered Crimson.

ZF knelt down and began picking up the candy scattered all over the floor.

“NOT YOU MORTAL!” screeched Crimson frowning. She pointed at ZF.

ZF jumped. “Why!?” he asked.

“You know why!” hissed Simian. “You puked over your share!”

“Yeah brother!” snarled Soma.

“Aww…” sighed Zeldafan.

“Don’t worry. I have something for you though. Better than candy.” said Crimson.

Zeldafan smiled. Crimson suddenly hurled the N64 box at his head unexpectedly.

“THINK FAST!!!” hollered Crimson.

The N64 whacked ZF’s chest and ZF fell over wheezing in pain.

“Jeez Crimson… You know you’re SUPPOSED to say “Think Fast” BEFORE you throw the object…” observed Cajun disapprovingly.

“Shut up human! I know what I’m doing!” snarled Crimson. “I meant to hit him! He ruined our candy!” She winked at Cajun.

“Ah yes. Then it is justified.” agreed Cajun.

ZF groaned miserably and they looked at him.

“Pick up the 64 before your puke spill rolls over onto the box.” ordered Crimson.

“Yes sensei…” grunted Zeldafan as he picked up the N64.

Brad continued screaming. Suddenly the pain stopped.

The Megabuddy held his hand in the air in front of his face and looked at it. Brad flexed his now repaired left hand and extended a claw from the tip of one his fingertips.

“Groovy…” Brad thought to himself.

He then swiftly and diligently picked the cuffs on his right hand until he heard a barely audible click.

“Got ya you little bugger…” he thought.

Brad tore the cuffs off of his hand and flung them at the wall in front of him. Brad’s attention now turned to the small table next to the chair he was sitting in on which all of his teeth were resting on.

The Megabuddy grabbed a tooth and stared at it epically, as if he were a member of the bomb squad trying to determine if she should cut the red wire or the blue.

“Where the heck does this one go…” Brad thought to himself.

Brad raised a brow and turned the tooth around to look at the other side.

“Aw crap man… I don’t want to put my teeth in at random… I can’t even see what I’m doing…..” groaned Brad in his head as he looked at all of his teeth confused as to which ones were which, which teeth went where, and what he was doing.

Suddenly Brad’s eyes changed and Phil appeared in yet another vision.

“Phil!?” Man am I glad to see you… What the heck am I doing!?” exclaimed Vision Brad rejoicing at the random appearance of the platypus.

Phil opened his bill and crammed a glazed doughnut with pink strawberry frosting and sprinkles on top into his mouth. Phil ate it swiftly in two bites and then blinked his watery eyes.

“G’day mate!” quacked Phil as he waved at Vision Brad.

Vision Brad waved back mindlessly at Phil. “I can see you!”

“I know!!! I see you too!” laughed Phil. “Thought you might need some help.”

“You’re going to tell me where these teeth go?”

“Eh… Sure… Let’s put it that way… You could say that…” mumbled Phil as he looked in the opposite direction of Vision Brad.

“Huh?” grunted Vision Brad confused.

“If you feel discomfort or pain at any time let me know mate. Especially if you feel lightheaded or dizzy.” the platypus informed him dutifully.

“Wait what?” asked Vision Brad frightened.

“Things are about to get… Trippy…” said the platypus.


Brad’s face twitched involuntarily and suddenly the Megabuddy violently crammed the tooth that he was holding deep into his gums. Brad reached for another tooth on the table, looked at it briefly and then forcefully shoved the fang into his mouth.

“What the hell is happening to me!? I’m not doing anything. Why am I moving!?” I can’t control myself!” shouted Vision Brad, holding his head with his arms and rocking back and forth quite visibly disturbed.

“Oh I told you to brace yourself mate. Told you it’d be trippy.” whistled Phil casually.

“Wait a second… YOU… You’re doing this! What the hell!?” screamed Vision Brad distraught.

Phil looked the other way. “Yes… Yes I am…” he said bluntly. “Is… there a problem? Are you feeling dizzy and or lightheaded!?”

Brad crammed another fang into his lower gums. He grabbed another tooth from the table, looked at it and shoved it into his upper jaw.

“Yes… No… What the heck are you doing to me!?” Vision Brad demanded to know.

“Fixing you up. I’m controlling your body. Not your sense of vision. Can’t you tell?” asked Phil as he shoved another doughnut into his mouth hungrily. “Mmm… These are good. You want one?”

Vision Brad’s face twitched silently. “You... You can do that?"

"Yeah." said Phil. "Pretty cool right?"

The platypus smiled innocently.

"I feel so violated… Why can’t you just tell me where to put them and let me do it myself?” asked Vision Brad.

“Because…” said Phil slowly.

“Because why?” insisted Vision Brad.

“Well Brad it’d take too long, and your friends REALLY REALLY need you right now and you need to get out of here as soon as you can. We don’t have the time. Sorry.” explained Phil.

“Oh… Yeah… I guess that explains a lot… Although I still feel pretty much mind raped…”

“Here… Why don’t you… Enjoy a doughnut?” Phil raised another doughnut. “They’re blissfully delightful! Just so scrumptious…”

“Okay fine yes I want one.” Vision Brad admitted, looking at it hungrily as his stomach grumbled.

The platypus tossed Vision Brad the box of doughnuts and resumed his dental work on his human.

“All right you guys. Let’s move out!” said Crimson. “We have stuffed our pockets full of sweets and since we have candy, we no longer desire food, for we have filled up on unhealthy snacks for the road!”

“Can I at least have a Hershey’s Kiss?” whined Zeldafan, quite upset that he had been excluded from the scavenging of floor candy.

“NO!” pouted Crimson as she crossed her arms. “You most certainly may not my human subordinate. And will somebody PLEASE wake up the human on the floor!?” she looked at the still unconscious Tom.

Simian ran over to him and kicked him repeatedly in the shin until he came to.

“Huh!?” exclaimed Tom scared beyond belief. “WHAT’S HAPPENING!?”

“That’s better.” commented Simian. He looked down at Tom. “Hello there.”

“Hey… “ Tom mumbled slowly. “What am I doing on the floor.”

“Ronald McDonald knocked you unconscious and we kinda just left you there while we fought over floor candy.” Simian informed him.

“You mean to tell me that there was floor candy and nobody bothered to tell me!?” sighed Tom depressed.


“Why…?” asked Tom sadly.

“Uh… Amigo… It was FLOOR CANDY… FLOOR CANDY TOM… More cuts equals less candy for everyone.”

“I hate you Simian. I hate you guys… All of you…” grumbled Tom as he stood up.

“We know.” smirked Simian. “We know Tommy boy.”

“Don’t call me that.” hissed Tom.

“Why? This is because of the floor candy isn’t it!” gasped Simian insulted. “We’re best friends amigo! I can do whatever I want and get away with it.” Simian chuckled as Tom looked at him with a murderous look on his face.

“Shut up you two.” interjected Soma. “Crimson has something important to say I think.”

“Yes human female, I do. Humans, my mortal followers! We must leave this place of DEATH! Grab our Megabuddy comrades, Belbell and Nathan. We shall carry them to safety and give them a proper burial… or something… Whatever it is you humans do after you prepare your dead for the afterlife.” trumpeted Crimson triumphantly. “Leave no Megabuddy behind!”

“But Crimson… What about Kitchensink?” asked Cajun very much puzzled.

The Megabuddies looked among each other, agreeing that Cajun had a pretty good question.

Crimson looked around nervously as she struggled to find an answer as to why they had forgot about Kitchensink’s corpse back at the Joe Jonas concert. “Uh… Sink doesn’t count.”

“But why not?” insisted Cajun.

Everyone stared at Crimson awaiting her response.

Crimson drew a blank and decided to act defensive. “ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY AUTHORITY CAJUN!? Your human mind can’t possibly ever comprehend what’s going on in my far superior vampire brain!”

“Bu… bu.. but...” stuttered Cajun confused.

“Do you want to sit in time out with ZF while we enjoy a celebratory feast at a family establishment human!?!?!? T.G.I. Fridays mortal, where we shall celebrate a mission accomplished!”

“I’m sorry…” Cajun blurted out, determined to eat at T.G.I. Fridays.

“Good.” smiled Crimson, suddenly hugging Cajun in a very abrupt mood swing.

Cajun looked around nervously and feigned a smile, a bit frightened over the thought that an angry potential vampire was hanging a bit dangerously close to his neck.

Crimson sniffed him. “You smell sweet human.” she awkwardly commented.

“Uh… Please don’t eat me.” whimpered Cajun with big eyes. “If you are a vampire…”

“Sweet… Sweet like floor candy… I can smell it on you…” said Crimson. “The blood… pulsing through your veins and racing through your heart… I can hear it… I can smell that there as well… You truly are frightened.”

Cajun began squirming in her grasp, desperately wanting to be released. Crimson let Cajun go, heavily insulted that her friend would think that she’d actually eat him, even though she had been talking about how she had noticed the blood in his body.

“Find a shopping cart and toss in Nathan and Belbell’s bodies. OH and T_L’s happy meal toy.” ordered Crimson.

Crimson's friends soon had found a cart and carefully placed Nathan and Belbell’s bodies onto it.

“Poor sister.” bawled Zeldafan as he helped Laclipsey toss Belbell’s lifeless remains onto the cart on top of Nathan’s corpse. “I’ll find a way to bring you back Belbell. I promise you this… This isn’t goodbye. It’s the start of something new… I’ll stop at nothing. Even if it means playing God…”

Zeldafan set the N64 box into the shopping cart and silently wept unnoticed for the next few minutes

Cajun walked up to the cart and tossed in a plastic action figure. Simian looked into the cart and picked up the toy, a Transformer.

“He looks familiar. I know who he is but I can’t think of his name…” remarked Simian scratching his chin in deep thought.

“He should amigo. He’s only a little known Dinobot known as Grimlock.” Cajun told him.

“Oh yeah! That’s who he is…” said Simian gleefully as he set down Grimlock on Belbell’s stomach.

Gbleek looked at the toy from beside Laclipsey. “You guys… Why doesn’t it move and talk like the others?”

“He has a speech impediment Gbleek.” Simian explained, he was quite knowledgeable when it came to all things Transformers.

“No Simian… Not like that… I mean like the ones we saw earlier.” whispered Gbleek, staring at it paranoid. “Talk! I know you can…” Gbleek told the toy. “Show yourself for what you are…”

“No clue.” said Simian.

“I think it’s just a toy.” said Tom.

“It can’t be… Nothing is what it seems in this store…” said Gbleek raising a brow, still staring at the Grimlock action figure.

“Who cares? Let’s get out of here before the rest of us die! I don’t want to end up like sister...” sniffled Zeldafan with red eyes, he had been crying for so long.

“Shut up girlfriend stealer I know I’m not crazy!” exclaimed Gbleek. “It’s alive, I just know it!”

Crimson walked up to them. “They’re coming our way. It’s time to go my ducklings.” she interrupted, ending her friends’ previous conversation quite abruptly. She looked at the shopping cart and saw the N64 inside of it. “You’re being punished lazy human! I told you to CARRY the N64!”

“Aww…” sighed ZF, still bawling over Belbell.

Zeldafan picked up the N64 and held it in his arms without protest.

“Ducklings?” asked Soma, unsure she had heard correctly.

“Yes ducklings.” winked Crimson.

“Why are we ducklings?” asked Cajun.

“Because my ducklings, you silly humans follow me the mama duck AKA the leader around mindlessly just like baby ducks.” explained Crimson. “I thought it up myself. It’s something so brilliant that only I, a VAMPIRE, could be able to think up.”

“I’m not sure I like this comparison.” said Simian frowning.

“Me either.” agreed Soma. “It’s quite demeaning.”

“Well humans are below vampires so it makes perfect sense you guys. Come on am I really being that insulting to you?”

Everyone silently nodded agreeing.

“FINE HUMANS... I shall call you MINIONS. Happy?” sighed Crimson annoyed.

Everyone shrugged and nodded happily.

“Fine. Now let’s roll my minions.” trumpeted Crimson. “It’s time to play my favorite game ever, other than Connect Four, FOLLOW THE LEADER. In this game you do everything that I say and do, hence follow the leader! You act like mini-me’s my minions!” explained Crimson quite unnecessarily.

“We know how to play.” growled Tom.

“Jeez you don’t have to be so pissy about it…” said Crimson insulted. “NOW WE RUN FOR THE ADMINMOBILE!!! GO! GO! GO!!! For the love of Darkwing Duck we must flee!” shouted Crimson, pointing a finger towards the McDonalds entrance.

They all ran out of the fast food restaurant at that very second with Crimson in the lead and Tom right behind her pushing the shopping cart. ZF was last to exit the store, hugging their video game console tight against his chest as he ran.

End of Act 57

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Cajun Canine

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PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:00 pm

"For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies."

Act 58

Geo was running mindlessly throughout the Wal-Mart when he suddenly froze right where he was. Geo sniffed the air.

“High School Musical… The complete trilogy… I smell it…” grunted Geo as he turned his head in the direction of the entertainment department. “I KNOW IT’S HERE!!!” cackled Geo as he leapt onto all fours and scampered like a dog in the direction of the DVD section.

All of Brad’s teeth were back in his mouth by now and Brad was looking for a way out.

Brad went up to the door and slowly leaned his head against it and closed his eyes, concentrating on listening to the other side. Someone coughed and Brad realized someone was there.

Brad slowly opened it and leaned his head against the opening to get a glance at what he was dealing with.

There were two security guards nearby keeping watch in a hall, both armed with 9mms, and they both had their backs turned.

Brad inhaled deeply as he prepared himself and then grabbed the door with his hand and violently slammed it against the guard right in front of the door, bursting into the room.

“Aaagh!” grunted the guard as the door whacked him and sent him flying against the wall.

Brad brutally slammed the door into the man’s face again so hard that it broke his nose. The Megabuddy flung the door backwards so it shut and lunged forward at the startled guard.

The other guard nearby turned and saw Brad. “HEY YOU! FREEZE!!!” he screamed hoarsely.

Brad’s head briefly looked at the other guard for a half-second and then he looked back at the stunned man he was beating up. Ignoring the other guard Brad gripped the man’s skull with his claws and shoved it violently repeatedly against the wall until it fractured.

The other guard panicked and whipped out his gun. The man steadied his aim for Brad’s chest.

Thinking quickly the Megabuddy grabbed the guard’s departed ally and held him up in front of his body as a human meat-shield right in the nick of time as bullets whizzed into the air and into the dead guard’s chest.

Finally the hammer clicked on the guard’s gun and nothing happened. The security guard looked at his gun horrified and then at Brad.

Brad grinned. “My turn…” he growled.

Brad shoved the body forward at the guard and the man stumbled backwards some. Brad ran towards the guard as the man pulled out a knife. The man swung the knife at Brad but Brad dodged it by moving to the side.

“Knives are bad! You should stop playing with them.” shouted Brad as he grabbed the man’s arm and bit into it with his sharp fangs.

“AAAAGH!!! YOU MOTHER…” screamed the man as he dropped the knife to the floor in pain.

The man swung a punch at Brad’s face and Brad released him. Brad then jumped on the man, sending the both of them to the floor, ripping the guard’s throat out with his fangs.

The man choked for a few seconds and finally stopped moving.

Brad stood up and placed a finger against the tip of his bloody muzzle. He put the finger in his mouth and tasted the warm blood. Brad stuck his tongue out of his mouth and licked the warm blood on the top of his face.

“Weird… Not that bad actually…” Brad thought to himself.

His attention turned to a door to his right. Brad walked up to it and wiggled the handle. It didn’t move.

“Damn. Locked…” said Brad.

Brad walked further down the hall and found another door. Brad tried the door and found to his surprise that it opened and actually went into the main store. Brad was about to exit the hall when suddenly he heard a familiar voice coming from behind another door in the hall.

The Megabuddy’s fox-like ears perked up and his heart jumped. Brad walked over to the door and slowly cracked it open a tiny bit. He looked inside.

“You have fulfilled all the necessary tasks to become a minion, future minion…” began the store manager.

“Whew…” sighed Shadow relieved.

“All but one.” completed the boss.

“Huh!?” asked Shadow not quite understanding what he meant.

“The Sore &*( Ritual has yet to be completed. Drop them pants boy. Underpants too... Nice and easy…” said the store manager.

“What the !@#$!?” thought Brad in his head.

Shadow looked around the room nervously at his fellow Wal-Mart comrades.

“Are… Are you serious?” stuttered Shadow.

“It is part of your initiation ritual and the final task you must complete before you become… One of us.” said the store manager quite bluntly. “Refusal to do so is treachery to the Wal-Mart cause and The Secret Brotherhood Unification of Evil.”

“ONE OF US! ONE OF US!” chanted the crowd of masked employees gathered to initiate Shadow into their exclusive group.

The crowd of fellow employees all raised large paddles and cheered. Shadow looked around frightened.

“I’m not sure I want to do this… Is it optional?” asked Shadow quite seriously.

The store manager frowned and raised his hand to backhand Shadow for questioning orders.

Shadow squealed like a stuck pig frightened and instantly dropped his pants onto the ground.

“Now get on all fours and scamper like the dog you are all the way to the end of the line and back.” said the store manager as he pulled out an enormous wooden paddle.

Brad raised a brow as he continued to watch the amazing spectacle that was his former ally, now turned foe, being initiated into an evil organization.

The store manager whistled and all of the employees formed two lines, so that the newbie had to crawl on all fours between the two lines being paddled from both sides.

Tears rolled down Shadow’s face and he suddenly bit his lip.

“Try and think about why you’re doing this. It tends to help.” winked an employee as he practiced swinging the paddle in the air, eager to beat the crap out of his future comrade’s buttocks.

“I’m doing this for Crimson.” thought Shadow. “I’m doing this… For love! Love always triumphs over all. Nothing can stop me from scoring a date with the leader!”

Shadow miserably got on all fours and began crawling down the line as a barrage of &*( whupping struck him hard on the &*(.

“Aaaagh! Aaaagh! Aaagh!” whimpered Shadow as he continued crawling along the line.

Brad’s face twitched, mesmerized by the horrifying sight of Shadow’s initiation ritual.

“EEEEEEEK!!!” screeched Geo in a shrill fangirl scream as he saw the 3 Disc Special Edition set of Twilight on DVD.

Geo grabbed it and held it tight against his chest. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god oh my god…. I’m going to keep you forever. I never want to let you go Bella.”

Geo suddenly saw a copy of Camp Rock on DVD and squealed. He continued looking at all of the girly movies on DVD and began breathing heavily.

“I’m… going to need a shopping cart…” Geo thought to himself.

Geo ran off at that moment in search of a shopping cart.

“Please you don’t have to do this!” cried Shadow as he dragged himself along the floor, his sore red &*( bleeding now and raw from being hit too hard so many times.

“Hooray!” said an employee as he whacked Shadow’s butt with a paddle.

“Hey that hurts you know!” whimpered Shadow.

Another employee whacked Shadow with a paddle.

“Please stop you guys. What would Jesus do!?” pleaded Shadow.

The employees all looked at each other in deep thought and then all teamed up, paddling Shadow at once non-stop.

“Aaaagh!!! Aaaagh!!! Bad idea! Bad idea!” shouted Shadow out loud, referring to the what would Jesus do question.

Geo rushed back with a shopping cart and ran straight for the Camp Rock DVD but right before he reached it a tween girl walked up and sniped the last copy.

“You… &*(&^!” gasped Geo as he gritted his teeth aggressively. “Hands… OFF the merchandise. I saw it first!”

The little girl stuck out her tongue at Geo. “Nah nah!” laughed the girl.

Geo grabbed the girl and ripped off one of her ponytails. “MINE!!!” screamed Geo as he punched the girl and grabbed the DVD out of her arms.

The girl ran off crying to tell her parents who were shopping in a different department currently.

Geo hugged the DVD smiling and dropped it into his shopping cart. Geo then began shaking as he looked at all of the movies on the rack.

“HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL ONE TWO AND THREE! HELL TO THE YEAH!!!” squealed Geo quite gay-like as he grabbed all of the copies and dropped them into the cart.

Suddenly he saw the Twilight DVDS and let out another shrill fangirl scream. “JACOB, EDWARD AND BELLA!!! You’re coming home with ME!!!”

Some girls walked by and stared at Geo.

“They’re coming home with me.” smiled Geo proudly, telling the girls what he was doing.

They giggled and walked away faster.

“A guy that likes Twilight? That’s SO hot…” sighed one of the girls dreamily.

“Nah I think that’s pretty stupid. Only girls can like Twilight. It’s our job to drag our boyfriends to see the crap for the laugh out louds.” argued her best friend forever.

Geo dropped all of the Twilight DVDs into his shopping cart, followed by all of the copies he could find of the Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana 3D movies.

“I’m all prepared for personal use, Christmas gifts, Easter Gifts, Hanukah gifts, gradation gifts, anniversary gifts, wedding gifts, birthday gifts, Halloween, Valentines Day AND special occasions now. I’m so generous. I just KNOW my friends will appreciate these quality family friendly flicks as much as I adore them.” smiled Geo as he stared at the huge pile of lame movies piled up to the top of his cart, almost to the point of overflowing so badly that they’d fall over out of the cart and onto the ground.

Geo skipped out of the section giddily singing a song from High School Musical 2 about making new friends at school.

“OWIE!” whimpered Curtis as he stood up and pulled up his pants.

“Not yet boy… We ain’t through with you yet. Pants back down. Underpants too…” grinned the boss as he pulled out a red hot branding iron with the Wal-Mart name and smiley logo on it.

Curtis soiled himself as he stared at the tip of it. Curtis began sobbing and pulled his britches down as he bent over to be branded.

“JOIN US!!!” screamed the store manager as he rammed the branding iron against Shadow’s soft, raw tenderized tush.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” screamed Shadow at the top of his lungs. “MOMMY!!!”

“Holy *!@…” mouthed Brad as he looked on horrified.

“Now pull up your pants boy…” said the store manager. “Welcome to… THE BROTHERHOOD!!!”

“One of us! One of us! One of us!” cheered the crowd of Wal-Mart employees.

“Owie!!!” whimpered Shadow. “My &*( is covered in BOO BOOS…”

Shadow rubbed his sore buttocks painfully.

“Now before I send you off to work second shift… Tell me this.” said the store manager.

“What sir?” asked Shadow.

“What exactly is that ice cream truck doing in the middle of my store?”

“We drove it here.” explained Shadow.

“Not that. I mean what is it. Does our evil corporation have anything to gain from confiscating it?”

“Loads.” began Shadow. “Advanced weaponry and armor, classified intel from space satellites my former team had gathered, hard drives with names and aliases of all our members, GPS coordinates to the team’s headquarters. I could go on. That’s just for STARTERS.”

“Show me.” grinned the boss.

“With pleasure.” cackled Shadow.

“Dear god. That little rat sold us out…” thought Brad. "I'll kill him..."

Suddenly the store manager glanced at the door and saw it open.

“WHO’S THERE? THIS IS NOTHING. YOU SEE NOTHING!!! THIS IS AN EMPLOYEES ONLY SECTION! GET THE !@#$ OUT!!!” screamed the store manager rushing for the door to bounce the intruder.

“Oh snap.” Brad said to himself. "Eh... I'll kill him later. Adminmobile is top priority."

Brad slammed the door shut and opened the door behind him to the main store. Brad exited and quickly closed it behind him right as the boss opened the other door and stepped into the hall.

Brad dashed off madly in search of the adminmobile.

The store manager burst into the hall followed by numerous employees and quickly saw the two mutilated dead guards lying on the ground in pools of blood.

His face turned red when he realized that Brad had been the one watching them. “MY PET ESCAPED!? I WANT HIM BACK!!! GET HIM BACK NOW!!! FIND HIM YOU REPLACABLE MINIONS!!! AND I NEED HIM ALIVE!!! HE'S WORTHLESS TO ME DEAD!!!”

Several employees opened the nearby door and ran into the main store after Brad.

“AAAAGH!!!” roared the boss as he punched a hole in the wall enraged. “DAMN IT!” He turned to Shadow who was still standing beside him. “I need my blood pressure medication. Fetch it and then take me to the ice cream truck.”

Shadow nodded. “On it boss.”

End of Act 58

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Cajun Canine

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Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:01 pm

"For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies."


Act 59

T_L and Cyclone were seated in the dining hall at MB HQ, a gigantic room with a long table of titanic proportions solely used for feasting. T_L and Cyclone had bibs with pictures of pigs roasting over a spit wrapped around their necks and there was a plate set before the two of them, the fancy kind of china dishes that rich people eat off of.

The plates were expensive because Laclipsey had bought them, he has a nice taste when it comes to things, but he’s extremely cheap. The whole set of plates that he had bought, about two hundred plates, had actually cost the Megabuddies only seventeen dollars and a nickel due to the fact that Laclipsey switched the price tags on them all with ones originally belonging to packs of Wrigley chewing gum and THEN used a forged coupon. They SHOULD have cost him eight hundred and forty eight dollars plus tax. But nobody cares because the team got them cheap, in bulk and they were nice plates fit for a king.

T_L looked at his empty plate longingly and his stomach grumbled unhappy. “I’m STARVING… What’s taking them so damn long!?”

T_L grabbed his knife and fork, to him happy meals were such a delicacy that he ACTUALLY ate them on fine china AND used cutlery, and banged them impatiently
over and over on the table.

Cyclone who was sitting immediately to the right of him looked at T_L's hands and the upward downward motion that they were carrying out. “Is such behavior appropriate at mealtime sensei?”

“For the last time my padawan, of COURSE IT IS…. Jeez. Now mirror me like you are supposed to do my mini-me.” T_L quickly replied, slightly annoyed that Cyclone doubted that he represented model behavior. “Now bang your fork and knife like I’m doing so you’re cool like me.”

Cyclone was T_L’s current Megabuddy in training, a prodigy of awesomeness in the works. T_L was Cyclone’s mentor; it was his job to mold the new recruits in his image of awesomeness so that they would fit in with everybody and be freaking awesome. During this period of training the fresh fish are basically T_L’s minions and have to follow his every order and mimic his every move, studying him in an attempt to understand the TRUE meaning of being good, good like Sideswipe.

Cyclone picked up his fork and knife and banged them on the table happily in unison with T_L smiling. “If you say so… Yay I am cool!”

“You know if you say stuff like that you aren’t really cool. That’s rather un-cool.” advised T_L.

“Huh?” asked Cyclone as they continued to bang their cutlery.

T_L sighed. “Listen to me my minion.” He leaned in closer to Cyclone. “If you HAVE to SAY you are cool. You are LAME. People should already KNOW IT. So don’t say stupid things like that. As my apprentice you are being embarrassing man!”

“OH!!! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!” exclaimed Cyclone as he had a sudden realization of great truth. “By acting cool and not saying I’m cool, it means I’m cool and everyone knows it including myself! If I act cool and say I’m cool, it means I’m a wannabe poser out of place in the world who is trying to fit in with the cool crowd!”

“EXACTLY!” said T_L gleefully, happy that his droog was catching on so fast. “And what do we think of poser wannabes, oh pupil of mine?”

Cyclone paused and thought hard. “Um… Poser wannabes are outcasts in society who lack friends and thus try to act cool to obtain them? And we should pity them and be their friends?” smiled Cyclone, quite certain his answer was correct.

T_L’s face twitched. “Oh we have so much work to do…”

Cyclone looked at him and frowned. “Am I wrong sensei?”

T_L sighed and nodded. “WRONG! Posers wannabes are loser outcasts in society who nobody who should be friends with if one ever intends to be cool. STAY AWAY FROM THEM AT ALL COSTS. NEVER be their friends.”

“Oh… I was quite sure…” began Cyclone.

T_L interrupted. “Who is the master my apprentice?”

“You are.”

“Then what is with all of the questioning my awesomeness in my words of truth and in what I say is correct?” hissed T_L displeased.

“Uh… Red?” Cyclone blushed embarrassed.

“That’s what I thought. The Tribe… Has… SPOKEN!!!” shouted T_L, raising his fork high up in the air above him and then slamming it on the table.

Cyclone nodded. “Yes sensei.” He bowed his head shamefully. “I won’t question you again.”

“Much better my droog.” grinned T_L proudly. “Now I grow tired of this conversation so we shall play Connect Four until I grow bored of that as well. I shall teach you how to be awesome at Connect Four!”

“I like games!” grinned Cyclone, clapping his hands together like a happy monkey.

“Go fetch’eth me the box my minion.” ordered T_L.

Cyclone nodded. “Yes my master!”

Cyclone got up from the table, pushed his chair in and skipped cheerily out of the room in search of the treasured game.

T_L looked around carefully to make sure that Cyclone had indeed left the room. Cyclone was gone. T_L unbuttoned his jacket and reached into a secret pocket on the inside. He pulled out a small black flask and unscrewed the lid.

“Eh… This job is so hard…” T_L raised the flask to his lips and took a deep sip. “At this rate all the hairs on my head will have turned grey by twenty four…” T_L shivered involuntarily and then took another deep sip.

Geo pushed his shopping cart up to the adminmobile and opened the side door frantically. Geo hastily tossed all of the DVDS into the vehicle and sighed contently, hugging himself merrily.

Geo stepped into the adminmobile and found a blanket. Geo knelt down and kissed each individual plastic case and then tossed a blanket on top of all of his crappy movies.

“All safe and snug…” smiled Geo.

Geo plugged a Hello Kitty night light into an electric socket that just happened to be there and ran on a hidden generator in the adminmobile, it basically worked as a camper too, but without a bathroom.

“Nighty night my children.” whispered Geo lovingly.

Geo exited the adminmobile and quickly locked it down. Geo pressed a combination into a scanner on the side and a crap-load of heavy armor suddenly appeared out of nowhere, encasing the adminmobile into a lock down mode.

“All safe.” sighed Geo. “Now to go find the leader and the rest of my merry band…”

Geo looked around randomly and then decided to run off and check the section full of Hallmark cards in hopes of finding his friends there. It was at this VERY moment that Brad ran next to the adminmobile, JUST missing Geo by four seconds, not even aware that he had just missed his friend.

Brad panted insanely and wagged his tail as he looked at the adminmobile relieved.

“I made it… They didn’t get here first… Whew… Now to business. There’s no way my friends will make it here before the employees get here… I have to keep these freaks busy..." groaned Brad.

Suddenly his heart jumped and his tail stopped wagging. He saw the adminmobile's tires. The two that he could see were slashed.

"NO!!! NO! NO! NO! NO!!!" screamed Brad, now running around the vehicle checking each tire.

All four were slashed. Using logic it could be said that Geo probably was more focused on bringing his precious DVDs to a new safe haven and since he didn't intend on trying to drive the vehicle he had failed to notice what Brad had.

"Son of a &*(&^... I have no choice… I have to destroy it. It's useless now. I don't have the time to roll four freaking tires back from the Automotive Department and be a grease monkey all by myself...” sighed Brad.

The Megabuddy whined. He liked the adminmobile very much.

Apparently in between the time of their arrival and now the Wal-Mart Employees had slashed the tires on the adminmobile, intent on never letting their guests leave. It was the Wal-Mart corporation's desire that the Megabuddies could check out any time they liked but they could NEVER leave. The way Brad saw it, the folks at Wal-Mart weren't that interested in the prospect of exploiting the adminmobile at the time they slashed the tires, at that time they must have only been trying to ground the team so that any escapes would be attempted on foot.

Brad crouched down onto the ground and used one of his legs to scratch his back. His ears perked up and he listened to something in the distance.

Numerous feet shuffled on the ground and many employees were hunting for the escaped "pet" of their leader.

“He went this way!” shouted an employee.

“Come on!” said another.

“Crap… Gotta hurry. Not much time!” Brad told himself. "Jeez can't I ever get a break? Huh. Guess it's true. A Megabuddy's work is never done."

End of Act 59

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:05 pm

Here it is... The glorious 60th chapter. I wuv you my loyal readers. x3 No really I do. :loco: All of my characters in this chap whoo. A few of you might not have had lines like Gbleek... But uh... You're there. Very Happy XD :dance: An epic of 11 pages. Very Happy And it's helping me tie up loose ends and kinda rather obviously helping to lead to the conclusion. But in the cool way. :3

"For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz."

Act 60

Brad stood up and ran over to the Adminmobile. Suddenly his ears perked and he sniffed the air. He was being watched.

“Heh.” said Brad nervously as he looked around the place nervously at random customers walking by staring at him in amazement, a strange humanoid fox creature standing next to a random armored ice cream truck was quite a spectacle to behold. “There’s nothing to see here! Now come on! Beat it!”

“IT TALKS!!!” shouted someone as they took out their cell phone and snapped a shot of Brad.

Brad frowned and acted like an insane person. “ROAR!!!” screamed Brad as he acted like he was running towards the crowd of customers that had gathered nearby.

“AAAGH!!!” they all screamed as they ran away.

The Megabuddy walked back over to the Adminmobile and looked at the touch screen scanner on the Adminmobile. He hastily began overriding the lock down mode on the vehicle.

As Brad punched in the numbers on the screen he mouthed each letter he was inputting. “C. O. R. N. S. T. A. L. K. E. R.”

Brad looked at all of the asterisks that had appeared on the screen and pressed enter.

“Access granted” said a robotic female voice from out of nowhere. A piece of the armor on the vehicle above the scanner flipped over revealing a microphone to speak into. “Rank please.” requested the voice.

Brad tapped the microphone and leaned closer to it. “Admin.” he said coolly.

The scanner beeped a few times and then the voice spoke again. “Alias please.” asked the voice.

Brad spoke into the microphone. “BradHummr.”

The scanner beeped again and a piece of armor to the right of the scanner transformed into a kind of hole big enough to stick one’s arm into.

“Name and rank matching process successful. One hundred percent voice match with Megabuddies member "BradHummr". Please scan your MB ID in the arm scanner on the side of the touch scanner.” said the voice.

Brad hastily shoved his right arm into the hole and an x-ray shot out into his arm and sent back data into the locking system. The program scanned it and sent the data back to the scanner.

Brad pulled his arm back out and looked around the store again anxiously as he heard the voices of approaching employees in the distance. The armor transformed back into a block of solid metal on the exterior of the vehicle and Brad blinked.

“Jeez I still don’t know why we made undoing the locking mechanism on the Adminmobile this overtly complex…” Brad said to himself.

The scanner beeped and the voice spoke again. “Megabuddies microchip ID found in ultra-secret MB ID hiding place. MB ID confirmed as BradHummr’s.”

A piece of armor near the microphone transformed and revealed a small piece of glass.

“Please look into the retinal scanner.” said the computerized female voice.

Brad sighed and leaned in closer to the ice cream truck. He peered his right eye into the retinal scanner and opened his eye nice and wide. He heard a humming noise and suddenly a bright red light flashed over his eye.

“Retinal scan for BradHummr complete. Identification further confirmed. You are almost at the end of the process. We thank you for your patience. Please place hand on touch scanner for final identity confirmation test.”

The retinal scanner transformed back into being just plain armor.

“Finally…” groaned Brad rather impatiently. He didn’t have much more time to waste on such an overdrawn security procedure.

Brad placed his right hand onto the scanner and a humming noise began, almost like a joint printer scanner machine, accompanied by a moving beam of white light. The light moved side to side underneath Brad’s hand for a few seconds and then disappeared.

Brad withdrew his hand and crossed his arms as he waited for the results to process. He tapped his foot on the ground and whistled a bit.

The robotic female voice finally spoke again. “Handprint scan for BradHummr complete. Access is denied.”

“WHAT!? What do you MEAN I don’t have clearance? I’m an admin damn it!” growled Brad furious.

“Handprint scan results show possible error in system. Handprint identified as ‘Vulpes vulpes’, species red fox. Please fix error in the programming of the security program when you have time on hand. Good day to you sir.”

Brad glared at his furry paw hand. “Darn pads… Nice and soft though… Like a leather cushion…” he thought in his head. “BUT!!! I PASSED ALL THE OTHER TESTS!!!” pleaded Brad.

“If you believe that there is a flaw with my processing system or that I have become outdated and need to be updated, please contact Admin: Crimson at-” the computer began.

Brad snarled. “SHUT UP!!!” screamed Brad. He punched a hole in the scanner with his hand and tore off the microphone with his mouth. “GRRR…”

He ripped off the scanner as he pulled his hand back out. The cuts and gashes on his hand from doing so began healing on his hand.

Brad punched into the thick armor on the side of the Adminmobile and heard employees screaming in the background as they approached the scene.

“COME ON!!!” screamed Brad as he grabbed a piece of the armor that he had punched into and peeled it backwards in a huge strip, creating a huge hole in the middle of the armor that he could climb over.

Brad scrambled over the armor and was finally inside of the Adminmobile. He didn’t see the DVDs inside of the vehicle due to the fact that they were covered up with a blanket. He did however notice the Hello Kitty nightlight.

“Who plugged that in?” wondered Brad in his head. “No time to think about it.”

His ears twitched and he listened to the employees in the background.

“He went inside of the ice cream truck!!! Come on let’s rush him mindlessly!” suggested an employee.

“For Sam Walton!!!” screamed a man as his battle cry.

“LET’S MAKE HIM PROUD!!!” screeched a female employee.

“Well that can’t be good…” mumbled Brad.

Brad rushed over to a hidden compartment in the Adminmobile. It was locked but he kicked it open easily with one savage blow to the center. The thing burst open and he found a .44 caliber magnum, a box of bullets to accompany the magnum, some C4 with a remote control detonator and a freaking rocket launcher that had one mammoth rocket crammed into it.

“Finally my day gets better.” sighed Brad. He opened the box and noticed it was basically empty other than a lone cartridge. “DANG IT.” grumbled Brad.

Brad took the gun out and loaded the single bullet into the chamber. He put the safety on and stuck it in the back of his pants.

The rocket launcher had a strap on it so he simply strung it around his arm, looking pretty badass as he did so.

The Megabuddy’s eyes turned to a supercomputer in the vehicle, the Megabudies have such advanced technology and weaponry available at their disposal that they are able to fit a desktop sized supercomputer into their combat vehicle, and he crouched down next to it, slowly cramming some of the C4 onto the device, taking care not to accidentally set it off.. The last thing the team needed was to have the hard drive on the supercomputer recovered by a forensics team.

The Megabuddy carefully placed some more C4 into three other places inside the Adminmobile and finally stuck the detonator into the C4 on the supercomputer, figuring the blast would be enough to trigger the other three.

He grabbed the remote control and jumped out of the side of the Adminmobile, landing right in front of an oncoming wave of employees. The employees all stopped where they stood and looked at him. Brad squinted at them and they squinted back.

Brad momentarily turned in place, and rolled the armor he had peeled to the side back into place like the badass he was, and looked back at the employees. The Adminmobile was safe… for now. It would take a while to penetrate the armor, even with the weak spot where Brad had damaged it.

Suddenly from behind the wave of Wal-Mart employees a huge glass pitcher filled to the brim with red liquid and that had arms, legs, and a face punched his way to the front. Brad’s face twitched.

“THE KOOL-AID MAN!?” shouted Brad in disbelief.

“OH YEAH!!!” trumpeted the Kool-Aid Man.

The Wal-Mart people and the Kool-Aid Man looked at Brad silently for a few seconds until the Kool-Aid Man broke rank.

“Kill the outlander!!!” screamed the Kool-Aid Man before following his last statement up with some brief surfer slang.

“Aaaagh!!!” screamed all of the employees mindlessly as they charged towards Brad.

Brad whipped out his magnum and waved it around the room. He took the safety off of it.

“STAY BACK!!! I’LL KILL YOU ALL!!!” the Megabuddy warned, hoping that they would call his bluff that he had enough bullets to do so.

The Wal-Mart employees and the Kool-Aid mascot continued to charge at him mindlessly, they had been trained to not fear death.

Brad’s face twitched and suddenly he had a vision.

Phil the platypus waved at Vision Brad. Vision Brad waved back.

“G’DAY MATE!” shouted Phil quickly.

“BAD TIME! BAD TIME! BAD TIME!” screamed Vision Brad over and over as the employees and Kool-Aid Man continued to rush at Brad.

“BRIEF!!! BRIEF!!! BRIEF!!!” shouted Phil over and over. “Shoot the KOOL-AID MAN! Then RUN FOR YOUR LIFE MATE!!!”

“OKAY!!!” shouted Vision Brad, as the real Brad started to squeeze the trigger.

“NO NOT NOW! WAIT!!!” screamed Phil.

“NOW?” asked Vision Brad.

“FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!” screamed the platypus frantically. “NOW MATE NOW!!!”

The vision ended.

Brad aimed the firearm right between the Kool-Aid Man’s eyes and squeezed the hairpin trigger. The hammer clicked and a bullet shot out of the muzzle into the air.

“OH NO!!!” screamed the Kool-Aid Man.

The bullet shattered the Kool-Aid Man, sending red Tropical Punch flavored Kool-Aid and a ton of glass flying all over onto the floor.

The now dead Kool-Aid Man fell over dead onto the floor, destroying what was left of the creature and sending the remaining Kool-Aid onto the ground.

Three fourths of the employees surrounding the Kool-Aid Man slipped instantly on the Kool-Aid Man’s bodily fluids. Half of the ones that fell cracked their skulls, half that fell snapped their spine, and half of the ones that snapped their spine snapped their neck AND spine. The remaining employees that stood struggled to keep their balance.

“Cleanup crew needed!” shouted an employee frantically into a radio. “We need a cleanup crew I repeat in the”

He never finished. Brad ran by and pistol whipped him so hard his skull fractured, sending brain matter everywhere.

“AAAAAGH!!!” shouted the employees that had survived Brad’s horrifying attack.

Brad ran for his life out of the section and once he had found a safe spot to hide in for a few minutes he pulled out the remote control detonator for the C4. He armed it and prepared to detonate it when suddenly his face began twitching and he had another vision.

“NO MATE!” shouted Phil over and over in the vision running around screaming.

“Why!?” asked Vision Brad.

Brad looked at the detonator confused.

“Don’t you bloody remember!?” spat out the platypus hastily.

“Remember what Phil?” asked Vision Brad oblivious to whatever his spirit animal was referring to.

“The Adminmobile is powered by a nuclear fuel cell! It’s enough to LEVEL this place Bradley!” informed the platypus. “You press that button right now and this place goes bye bye.”

“Wait why is it powered by a nuclear fuel cell?” asked Brad missing the point.

“Because the Megabuddies are freaking AWESOME!” exclaimed Phil in an outburst. He regained control of himself. “Ahem… That’s beside the point. Uh… Did you catch what I said there mate?” asked the platypus.

“Yeah I did.” confirmed Brad. “IT’S ALL GOOD!” replied Vision Brad. “This place can burn in HELL.”

Brad began moving his finger towards the detonation button.

“You and your friends are in the store still you bloody twit!” gasped Phil. “Don’t do it man!”

“OH MY GOD.” screamed Vision Brad as he realized what Phil was saying.

Brad hurriedly disarmed the detonator and put it away.

“NOW you understand what must be done. Find your friends and escape. Blow this place up once you’re out of the store. Later mate.” Phil winked at him. “I got to go help Jack, Kenny, Nico and Bandit beat the living crap out of Rocky! We have him cornered in an underground cave!” exclaimed Phil excited.

“Who are they?” asked Vision Brad.

“Some mates of mine. You’ll meet them someday. You’ll see.” winked Phil.

The vision ended and Brad looked around. He frowned.

“Hmm... Where ARE my friends are right now…” he said to himself.

Brad ran off in search of them.

Geo skipped mindlessly around a corner and was rammed by a shopping cart and sent flying onto the ground. Geo coughed and then went silent.

“Oh no! We hit Geo!” whimpered Tom nervously.

“WE? What do you mean WE mortal? You’re the one driving the push vehicle used to carry merchandise one wishes to purchase!” scolded Crimson as she crossed her arms disapprovingly.

Tom put his hands on his head and rocked his head back and forth. “I’m a murderer!” cried Tom.

“Why do you care? He was trying to kill you earlier…” hissed Simian.

“I don’t wanna be a murderer…” whined Tom.

“You murdered our friend you sick son of a” began Laclipsey, walking over to Tom so that he could punch him in the gut.

Geo stood up.

“GEO!!! YOU’RE ALIVE!” rejoiced Laclipsey.

“Duh…” said Geo.

“AAAAGH!!!” screamed Tom scared out of his wits. “DON’T KILL ME!!!”

“Eh… I don’t wanna kill you no more.” smiled Geo.

“You don’t!?” gasped Tom in disbelief, fearing it was a mind game that was supposed to make him let his guard down.

“Nope! I found a crapload of DVDS earlier and stashed em back at the adminmobile. We’re good.”

“Ok….” Tom whispered nervously, not even daring to ask what he meant.

“Oh and I don’t wanna kill you either no more Simian.” Geo winked.

“You wanted to kill me!? WHY!?” shouted Simian alarmed.

“You broke my High School Musical 2 DVD remember?” said Geo.

“YOU REMEMBER!?” screamed Simian terrified.

“NOW… Now I remember.” explained Geo. “But I have a new copy so I don’t need to kill you over it no more.”

Simian and Tom trembled in terror and moved behind ZF and Cajun.

“Wimps.” said ZF.

“My droogie Simian is not a wimp!” complained Cajun. “Tom is severely… But not my amigo Simian!”

ZF rolled his eyes.

Everyone continued to talk about random unimportant things at a REALLY bad time until the Employee of the Month turned around the corner that Geo had turned around right before getting nailed in the chest with a shopping cart holding the bodies of two of his dead friends.

The Employee of the Month cackled amused. “You led me right to em boy…” said the Employee of the Month, looking at Geo. “I’ve been following you for FIFTEEN minutes…. Heh heh heh.”

“CRAP!!! IT’S HIM AGAIN!!!” screamed Soma.

“Reunion over! Let’s roll!” suggested Cajun.

“RUN HUMANS!!!” commanded Crimson.

With that the Megabuddies all began running in the opposite direction of the Employee of the Month.

“Come back here!” growled the Employee of the Month as he gave chase.

“NO!” shouted Cajun.

T_L and Cyclone were playing Connect Four. Cyclone was getting owned by his master. BAD.

T_L dropped a black checker into the piece of plastic used to hold all of the chips. “That’s four in a row Cyclone. I win again pupil.” said T_L. “AGAIN.” he quickly added.

Cyclone stared at the chips. “Drats! I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming.” complained Cyclone. “This is a baby game for seven year olds… Can’t we play Battleship? Or maybe Monopoly sensei?”

“HEY! Respect the baby game or it won’t respect you! Being a sore loser isn’t awesome! Now respect the game.”

“Fine.” said Cyclone.

T_L stared at him not amused.

“What master?” asked Cyclone confused.

“You must apologize to the Connect Four game you dissed because you weren’t being awesome.”

“Huh? To the game?”

“YES.” nodded T_L. “One must learn humility and shame and that things don’t always go your way if one is to be awesome. You didn’t understand the lesson I had in mind while we were playing. Now you must apologize.”

Cyclone frowned. “Seriously sensei?”

“Yes. Do these eyes NOT look serious to you?” asked T_L, his voice quite sincere.

Cyclone looked at T_L’s eyes and gasped. His master’s eyes were bloodshot and strained, unknown to him from having to deal with the pressures of teaching all of the recruits like him all of the ropes on being awesome and good, good like Sideswipe.

T_L's apprentice shook his head furiously.

“Then apologize.” said T_L blankly.

“I’m sorry…” mumbled Cyclone as he fiddled with his glasses, his apology barely audible.

“Like you MEAN it.” added T_L.

“I’m sorry for dissing you training device. I know now that you were only trying to help me become awesome and good, good like Sideswipe.” sighed Cyclone, his eyes welling up with tears forming because he was ashamed of his unsportsmanlike behavior.

“Good now I’m freaking starving.” announced T_L in a sudden mood swing.

“I am too sensei. But the food is not here yet…” commented Cyclone.

“Indeed it is not student.” said T_L coolly. “And we have been waiting for TOO long. I cannot wait any longer. To eat… We MUST go to Wal-Mart ourselves to teach our comrades the TRUE meaning of fast food. They clearly do not understand it…”

“Ok Sensei.” said Cyclone. “But how? Both adminmobiles are unavailable for use at the moment.”

“Simple my padawan. We will fly there.” T_L told him.

“Fly… Fly!?” Cyclone gasped. He hated flying.

“Yes you got a problem with it?” asked T_L rather uncaring.

“I hate flying… It’s scary sensei.” confessed Cyclone.

“Don’t worry I have a secret remedy that always cures the fear of flying.” T_L assured him.

“Sounds awesome master.” said Cyclone.

“It is.”

And with that Cyclone and T_L left the dining hall and took an elevator up to the roof of MB HQ.

T_L and Cyclone were inside of the chopper sitting on top of the helipad. They each put noise canceling headsets on and T_L flipped on the controls.

“Hey sensei! Where did you get your pilot’s license again!?” shouted Cyclone at the top of his lungs into the microphone dangling in front of his mouth.

The whir of the choppers made it hard to speak clearly into the microphone so they had to scream into it whenever they wanted to talk.

“Eh… Guam…” confessed T_L.

“GUAM!?” screamed Cyclone at the top of his lungs in terror.


“Was he even a real flight instructor!?” Cyclone demanded to know.

“Yeah of course student. He said he was.” T_L paused for a bit. “I hope he was… Well we’ll soon find out about that won’t we. Let’s hope we don’t crash!” exclaimed T_L cheerily, pulling up on the control stick.

The chopper lifted up into the air off of the helipad and T_L began flying it up into the sky.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!” screamed Cyclone over and over. “AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! AAAAAGH!!!” Cyclone continued screaming, frightened even more badly now that he knew that T_L’s flight instructor was shady at best.

T_L grimaced as Cyclone’s shrill screams penetrated his ears over the headset.

“STOP!!!” shouted T_L. “You’re gonna make me crash!”

T_L now began flying in the direction of the Wal-Mart Supercenter using the GPS built into their super pimped out helicopter.


T_L turned to his student. “I think it’s time for my secret remedy which will cure your fear of flying!” T_L shouted right before punching Cyclone as hard as he could in the head.

Cyclone stopped screaming and slumped forward unconscious in his seat. He would have fallen out of his seat if it weren’t for the seat belt.

T_L listened to the gentle humming sound created by the constant whirring of the huge metal blades swirling around in a circle above him. “Ah. Much better.” he sighed.

End of Act 60

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
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Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:08 pm

It's the final countdown! *music plays* :hero2: Personally I think I have about 14 more chapters left possibly... Max... .__. I hope I end this ok... .___. I'm wrapping it up. XD :loco:

"For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies."

Act 61

“Here it is sir.” said Shadow. He pointed at the Adminmobile parked right in front of him. “The Adminmobile.”

“Adminmobile? What kind of retarded name is that?” laughed the store manager.

“Hey this combat vehicle is basically the grim reaper in disguise. FEAR IT.” said Shadow frowning.

“Whatever you worthless replaceable toad… Now open the door… All this armor is unsightly and it's in the way of my conquest for the glory of the Wal-Mart corporation and the salvaging of the spoils of war.”

Shadow put his hand on the broken scanner in a pathetic attempt to turn it on. “Huh out of service or something.”

The store manager reached for Shadow and grasped his big muscular hands around Shadow’s neck. He lifted him up into the air furious and began choking him.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BROKEN? DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL!? WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR DAMN IT!?” barked Shadow’s boss, spitting involuntarily on Shadow’s face as he screamed at him.

Shadow cringed and then whimpered and whined like a frightened little puppy about to be beaten.

A customer in the store walked by and stared at the man holding Shadow up in the air and screaming at him violently. The woman scratched her head in bewilderment.

“What are you doing?” asked the woman from where she was standing. She didn’t feel comfortable just walking up to them in what seemed like a malevolent conversation.

“What are you staring at? Piss off &*(&^.” replied the store manager hastily.

“WHAT!? Excuse me!? Did I hear you correctly?” inquired the woman upset.

Shadow whimpered again in fear of his boss and wet his pants like a dog cowering in front of his alpha. Shadow clearly wasn’t top dog. He just didn’t have what it takes to be the alpha, beta, or even omega. If he were in a pack of wild dogs he’d probably be the canine that ate last out of the leftovers, mainly the parts the others didn’t like.

Warm liquid rolled down Shadow’s legs onto the floor creating a yellow pool of urine.

“Yes…” growled the man.

“I want to speak with your manager.” the offended woman demanded.

“I AM the manager.” said the store manager as he gritted his teeth, quickly growing tired of thee inquisitive woman.

“I’m never shopping at your store EVER again after the way I have been treated here today. YOU just lost yourself a valued Wal-Mart customer!” proclaimed the woman.

“I DON’T *(&%% care.” said the store manager. “And if you don’t get out of my eyesight within the next five seconds I’m going to go over there and beat your face in to the point you’ll WEEP tears of blood. Get out of my store…” snarled the man. “GET OUT!!!”

The woman ran away screaming. “Better.” said the store manager to himself. He turned back to Shadow. “FIX IT.”

“I can’t! I’m new and don’t know how! It’s freaking busted! Someone broke the locking mechanism so it’s basically jammed on a permanent lock!” sobbed Shadow panic-stricken. “Please don’t hurt me! I didn’t do this! I swear! It’s not my fault! Somebody got here first! I REALLY need this job so I can take my girl Crimson out on a date!”

The Wal-Mart owner looked at Shadow bitterly and then spat on his face.

He flung Shadow onto the ground. “Get out of my sight and to your cash register. Get to work you filthy dog.”

Shadow scratched at the fake plastic ears that Wal-Mart plastic surgeons had sewn onto his head to replace the ones that the manager had sliced off while he was tortured. “Huh!?”

“GET TO WORK!” screamed the employee.

“Oh.” said Shadow. “What about my friends? Do you want me to go find them for you? Knowing the combat experts they are they’re still wrecking havoc right and left…” Shadow scratched his chin.

The manager enlightened Shadow. “No. They’re fine. I have my best foot soldier on the job. He has SKILL unlike YOU. You’re just as worthless and incompetent as your coworkers. You’d be killed within two minutes if I send you after those people. You suck THAT hard.”

“Please! I know I can do it! Just give me a chance! JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE!”

“NO!!!” screamed the store manager. He paused for a few seconds and then wet his lips. “You already HAVE with this dilemma here.” He waved his right arm at the Adminmobile. “FAILURE!!!”

“NO!!!” screamed Shadow at the top of his lungs as tears rolled down his face. “I am NOT a failure. I'm not...”

“Then PROVE it.” growled his employer.

“HOW!? You won’t give me a chance!” plead Shadow.

“You’re the one that claims to be smart enough to prove yourself. FIGURE IT OUT!”

“What about Brad!? I can get you him.”

“Brad? You mean my pet?”


“I don’t need you to get him either. I have what he wants.” revealed Shadow’s boss rather dryly.

Shadow scratched his head rather obliviously. “What sir?”

“You and your friends.” said the man. “He does love his friends right?”

Shadow sighed deeply. “Yeah… Probably don’t like me no more though…” Shadow whispered to himself. “At least the work field offers me daily opportunities to meet new people!” thought Shadow. He smiled lightly optimistically.

“As LONG as we keep your friends contained inside the store my pet will not have it in himself to just up and leave. Friendships are a valuable thing. He seems like a bright caring and compassionate individual who would be determined to make sure that his buddies make it out okay… We’ve got him right where we want him. We are being hunted because we are a threat to their survival. The same goes for them.”

“So why did you tell your Employee of the Month to kill us earlier?” asked Shadow confused.

“Because idiot… Animals bite back."

Shadow blinked clearly not understanding what his employer was trying to tell him. The man growled.

Shadow's boss explained. "If we play the right cards… he’ll come to us. He won’t like it if we kill his friends. He will retaliate and show himself. He’s not going anywhere. Now get to a vacant register up at the front of the store. Customers need to be checked out.”

The rogue Megabuddy nodded and without a word silently crawled away from his boss. Once he was out of sight, Shadow began running epically towards the register as if he were trying to outrun a countdown clock until a bomb went off.

“Kids these days. They just don’t make evil minions like they used to…” sighed the manager. He stared at the hole in the wall and looked outside. “My beautiful beautiful wall… And all my cool air! This is a security flaw... Shoplifting galore... Why they could just walk out with a brand new HDTV!!!”

He whistled and two employees ran up to him.

“You called us Fearless Leader?” said a female employee.

“Awaiting your orders sir.” added another.

The manager sighed with satisfaction. “Ah. Good old mindless minions.” He pointed at the woman. “You. Get a team of minions working on that hole in my wall. Get a wall replacement kit and whatever tools you need to patch it. I want it to look just like it did before those bastards came here. And make it snappy. Like a pit stop in a Nascar race.” He turned to her friend. “You’re coming with me. Get some of your comrades. We’re going to push that ice cream truck out of here to the backroom. Gather up a team and some heavy cords. We’re going to have some people pull while we push to make the process go faster. Then we’re going to dig up some power tools and crack that sucker open.”

“Yes Fearless Leader!” said the woman joyfully. “I’ll make you proud. I really want to be the new Employee of the Month.”

“Doesn’t everyone?” scoffed the store manager at the employee sucking up.

“On it boss!” said her friend.

“Let’s hope you don’t fail me…” whispered the store manager.

End of Act 61

Btw if you notice any errors or something. I don't really think there are that many, if there are. Uh I wrote it at like 3 am my time. XP

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:09 pm

"For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies."

Act 62

“Oh crap! Come on run guys!” shouted Soma hysterically.

The sound of shuffling footsteps echoed throughout the clothes section. The Megabuddies were all running for their very lives with the Employee of the Month tailing them as they cut through the clothing department in search of the Adminmobile. The elite team ran past several innocent customers buying back to school clothes.

“Where’d we park the damn thing!?” shouted Zeldafan at the top of his lungs.

“I don’t remember!” Tom screamed back.

“We never parked! We just did! We crashed through the side of the building… Wait… WHERE’D WE CRASH!?” Simian told them.

“STOP TALKING SO LOUD MORTAL HUMANS DO YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER? YOU’RE ATTRACTING ATTENTION BY SCREAMING!!!” scolded Crimson, screaming at least ten times louder than her companions in her lecturing.

Cajun sighed. He was surrounded by idiots. They all were idiots, total masters in the ways awesomeness and extremely hardcore badass idiots.

“Fine! Gbleek, Crimson and Cajun! Where were you guys when we showed up!?” inquired Zeldafan, speaking so fast you could barely hear the brief pause in-between words.

“Uh… Come on think… think…” Gbleek said to himself.

“HMMM…. HMMMMMMM…. HMMMMMMM….” began Crimson in deep thought.

Cajun rapidly remembered. “I think we were in Sporting Goods! I had a tennis ball launcher!”

Gbleek abruptly remembered the trauma of falling down from the ceiling out of a vent and onto the glass showcase. “My &*(…”

“HMM….. HMMMMMMMM…… HMMMMMMMM….. Oh yeah it’s sporting goods mortal.” shouted Crimson triumphantly.

“Then we need to find it!” declared Laclipsey.

“How!?” hollered Simian amused. “It’s not THAT easy! This place is freaking huge!”

“Follow the signs my ducklings!” said Crimson as she pointed at a sign overhead that they were about to run past.

“You said you’d stop calling us that…” scowled Cajun. He glared at Crimson.

“Well… I lied.” Crimson admitted to her friends merrily.

Everyone else frowned disgruntled upon hearing the breaking news.

“He still behind us?” asked Tom, referring to the Employee of the Month. He panted miserably and in desperate need of electrolytes.

Cajun turned in place a bit as he ran forward and looked over his shoulder.

The Employee of the Month was still giving chase and he now had a double bladed axe, where he had attained it was a mystery. The Employee of the Month waved a fist angrily in the air upon seeing Cajun look at him.

“You’re first boy!!! I’m gonna gut you like a pig!!!” the Employee of the Month screamed at Cajun. “YOU GUYS ARE DEAD ONCE I GET AHOLD OF YOU!!!”

Cajun turned back in place and had sudden new found motivation to run faster than he currently was. “AAAGH!!! YES!!! YES HE IS!!!” he told his friends.

“Damn!” said Simian.

“We can’t keep running like this! He has too much skill!” exclaimed Soma. “Did you SEE his muscular physique, sexy tight abs and perfectly formed &*(!?!?!?”

None of the other Megabuddies, even Crimson the only other remaining female member of the party, had anything to say about what Soma had just said. They were all quiet for a short period of about two minutes as they ran. Finally Soma broke the silence.

“What!? I’m a girl.” she argued. “Why are we all being quiet because of my last remark!?”

Everyone looked at her bitterly as they continued to run.

“Why are you complimenting a dude trying to kill us!?” asked Laclipsey.

“Uh… Dunno.” said Soma, quite unsure herself now that she thought about it.

“Because I’m straight.” responded both Cajun and Simian, agreeing on the most popular and obvious answer seeing as to how only two in their group was female.

“Why do we care if he takes good care of his body!?” bellowed Tom unamused. “What’s your freaking point!?”

Zeldafan finally snapped and blurted out the thoughts racing around inside of his head on Soma’s observation. “WHY do you… er… WE care about his &*( again!?”

ZF was jealous that Soma was staring at the guy’s body and not his because he had a thing for her. They both mutually liked each other but they weren’t officially going out… yet. Based on how quickly he had shouted out his opinion and his tone of voice he had very poorly hidden his true thoughts.

“You almost sounded jealous for a second there ZF…” cackled Simian amused.

“NO I’M NOT!” ZF shouted almost instantly.

“Why so defensive then?” asked Tom.

ZF didn’t reply and everybody laughed at him. ZF’s face twitched as his face flushed beet red.

The Megabuddies soon exited the clothing department and landed right in the middle of an aisle.

“Where are we now!?” shouted Laclipsey.

They looked at the signs around them and saw a sign in the air that said “Electronics and Entertainment”. A sign that said “Sporting Goods” was barely visible in the background.

“We’re back near the Electronics section…” said Cajun amazed.

“Sporting Goods sign in the distance! I can see it! Come on!” shouted Soma. “And why is Crimson being so dang quiet!?

“I’m sorry you said something? What HUMAN? I’m too busy running to listen to my subordinate worshipers who idolize me and want to be as cool as me someday to socialize right now humans.” coughed Crimson innocently. She actually hadn’t been listening to anything anyone had been saying for the past ten minutes.

“Hey CDS!!!” interrupted Geo gleefully as he noticed the section they were running past. Suddenly he remembered something. “OH NO!!! I FORGOT THE SOUNDTRACKS TO ACCOMPANY MY CHEERY UPBEAT TWEEN MUSICALS!!! NOOO!!! I MUST GET THEM!!!” screamed Geo deliriously, turning to run down the music aisles and fetch them for his collection.

His friends intervened, grabbed him and pulled him away. Geo shrieked hysterically as he fought to break free from the restraint of his friends’ arms.

“YOU MONSTERS!!! YOU MONSTERS!!! You don’t understand you guys!!! I don’t have them yet! I NEED THEM!!! I don’t even have my classic, contemporary, alternative, hardcore modern OR heavy metal CDS no more! I NEED A NEW CD!!!” Geo cried out beginning to cry.

A few weeks ago Geo had traded in all of his hardcore modern day AND classic rock CDs so that he had enough money to buy a copy of High School Musical 3: Senior Year on DVD.

The leader hissed at Geo and bared her razor sharp fangs. “NO!!! WE GOTTA KEEP RUNNING!!! THERE IS NO TIME HUMAN!!!” shouted Crimson.

“I CURSE YOU!!! I CURSE YOU ALL!” wailed Geo as he sobbed depressed.

They continued to restrain Geo and push him along with them as they ran for the Sporting Goods section.

Eventually Geo threw his body onto the floor in a temper tantrum, in a juvenile attempt to prevent his friends from leaving the Entertainment section. Geo wanted those CDs badly… enough that he was willing to die for the cause. This was very inconvenient for the Megabuddies for his actions forced his friends to literally PULL on the ends of Geo’s arms and drag his body along the floor to the evacuation point.

Eventually the Megabuddies reached the Sporting Goods department; Geo forcefully dragged on the floor about half of the way there.

“I don’t see it!” yelled Cajun. He put his hands up into the air and shook them wildly. “WHERE IS IT!?”

“Its’ gone!” gasped Simian.

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” screamed Zeldafan. He began running around the near vicinity in a circle over and over in a state of panic.

“The hole’s been fixed and they took the Adminmobile away! AAAAGH!!!” hollered Gbleek enraged.

Crimson stared at the wall which the Adminmobile had driven through. “Hmm… It appears humans… That the hole is gone… It is clearly hiding from us." said the leader. "Us or the Wal-Mart people..." she quickly added.

“NO!!!” cried Geo. “I’VE BEEN ROBBED!!!”

“You were robbed?” asked Tom.

“YEAH!!! THEY STOLE WHAT I STOLE FROM THEM!!!” bawled Geo. He put his hands on his face and sobbed into it.

“Poetic justice…” said Cajun.

“What?” said Geo.

“Nothing.” Cajun quickly replied.


“We can’t stay here or we’re going to die my loyal ducklings! Follow the Leader, Round 2, begins NOW HUMANS!!! TO THE PET SUPPLIES SECTION!!!!” declared Crimson. She stuck her finger in the air and pointed at the sign way in the distance. “WE WILL LOSE HIM THERE!”

The Employee of the Month screamed curse words in the distance and Crimson took off running. The group followed with Tom pushing the shopping cart and ZF still cradling their precious N64 in his arms.

End of Act 62

Next chapter... A BATTLE FOR THE UNIVERSE!!! O_O Well no not really. But penguins... Monkeys... DEATH!!! =O Oh yes.. There will be blood. >=D. For FRODO!!! ER... THE MB!!! ^_^

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:10 pm

"For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies."

Act 63

The Megabuddies ran into the pet section and what they saw astounded them. What they found in the pet department was completely unexpected and considerably exotic.

They all looked at what lay to the sides along the walls, numerous cages and aquarium tanks loaded with unusual animals that aren’t really considered pets, such as seals, penguins, piranha, poison dart frogs, crabs and other strange things. They ran in between the aisles and looked in awe at all of the strange things around them.

Crimson finally stopped running and the group stopped immediately after, mirroring her actions.

“HUMANS!!! THIS IS WHERE WE HOLD HIM! THIS IS WHERE WE FIGHT!!!” shouted Crimson in some sort of attempt to rally her friends for battle. “THIS IS WHERE HE DIES!!!” She pointed at the employee of the month a few aisles behind them running towards them swinging his double bladed axe manically.

“So why’d you choose this place?” asked Soma.

“Yeah, Crimson! We’re surrounded by things like fish tanks, cat carriers, pet kibbles and squeaky toys.” complained Gbleek.

"I must highly question how well your plan was though through..." said Zeldafan.

“My ducklings…” began Crimson. She paused and rolled her eyes as she sighed. “Tsk tsk. When will you ever learn to just mindlessly follow me like a lemming to the battlefield without emotions or expectations of survival and returning home safely? Take Bloogoo for example humans, he was a HORRENDOUS foot soldier but an excellent minion. Mindless, the best kind!!! So obedient… they never complain… I don’t get no respect.”

Laclipsey interrupted Crimson’s complaining from the side. “Hey what kind of Wal-Mart sells monkeys?”

Everyone turned and looked at their friend, who was standing next to a cage on a shelf. Laclipsey was peering into the small cramped cage with his face pressed against the metal bars as he struggled to look at the interior of the cage.

“MONKEY?” gasped Simian excitedly. “Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey monkey!!!” he said over and over.

Simian shoved Zeldafan out of the way as he moved over beside Laclipsey to have a look.

“There’s a monkey in there…” Laclipsey pointed. “It’s hiding in the back corner…”

“I wanna see man! I wanna see!” shouted Simian right before he pushed Laclipsey away from the cage. Simian pressed his face against the cage and gazed into it.

Inside the cage, a small capuchin monkey was hiding in the very end of the cage. It was hiding in the dark back corner and stared back at Simian fearfully.

“AWW… Now that I have seen you I must have you.” Simian told it boldly.

Simian unlocked the door and moved it to the side. Simian reached his hand into the cage to grab his new “pet” but the monkey viciously bit into his hand.

“OOOK!!! AAAK!!! AAAK!!!” it screeched terrified. Simian’s hand dropped the monkey in the cage and the monkey ran back into the corner to hide.

The creature’s heart raced like crazy as it stared at Simian’s gigantic hands outside the cage. What did the human want with him? Why was he there in the cage in the first place? The last thing he remembered was living in his treetop home in the jungle. He had no recollection of how it had gotten there.

“It bit me!!! The little $&#@(@ bit me!” shouted Simian. He wasn’t amused. Simian raised his wounded hand and showed his friends. “Look!”

Everyone laughed at him. Simian growled and slammed the door shut and locked it back up.

“I’m going to chop you guys into pieces!!!” screamed the Employee of the Month from behind the main group of Megabuddies.

“Aaaaaagh!!!” they all screamed in fright.

The Employee of the Month had finally reached the exact aisle that they were in.

“I’m fixing to chop off your god damn heads…” hissed the Employee of the Month. “They’ll look good mounted in the employee lounge!” The man gripped the axe handle tightly in his hands and twirled it three hundred and sixty degrees so that the axe blade spun in a circle intimidating-like. “It’s time to make my master and Sam Walton proud!” he screamed hoarsely.

The Employee of the Month took a few slow steps towards the Megabuddies. He grinned sadistically and flashed his axe at them.

The Megabuddies all took a few steps backwards.

“What’s the plan Crimson!?” barked Zeldafan.

Crimson didn’t respond, she was simply silent and continued to stare at the Employee of the Month unsure of how to react.

“Crimson?” insisted Zeldafan.

Crimson turned to face Zeldafan. “There IS no plan human. It would appear we are boned. He has too much SKILL… And he has an axe!”

“Then why’d you bring us to die in the pet section!?” screamed Zeldafan enraged as he realized just how badly their situation was.

“Well I figured he wouldn’t follow us here because of the putrid rank fishy smell nearby. Go figure eh?” said Crimson. She nodded.

Everybody looked at her in horror.

“What?” asked Gbleek. He was hoping he had heard her incorrectly. “Come again Crimson?”

“I got nothing.” Crimson told him.

Gbleek whimpered in fear as he looked at the big muscular Employee of the Month.

“Why didn’t you think of an alternative plan for just in case your other plan didn’t work!?” shrieked Cajun annoyed.

“Uh… I’m going to be brutally honest with you all my ducklings. I didn’t think we’d make it this far…” she paused before continuing. “You humans are just too damn slow and keep slowing me down. I thought surely he would have caught up to us a few aisles back…”

Everyone looked at Crimson pissed. At that moment the Employee of the Month began running for the team with his axe in the air.

Everyone looked at Crimson waiting for their orders.

“Uh…” groaned Crimson as she tried to think of what to do.

The Megabuddies leader was dreadfully embarrassed that her previous plan had failed and it was affecting her ability to think. She had never quite known humility as bad as what she had just felt only moments before.

“DIE OUTLANDERS!” screamed the Employee of the Month.

“Oh god… Come on... Think…” Crimson said to herself.

“Crimson! Our orders!?” shouted Cajun.

“Be quiet I’m trying to think! I can’t think under all of this pressure… Oh my head hurts…” groaned Crimson.

The monkey in the cage screeched insanely nonstop, sensing the great evil that lurked inside the man. The Employee of the Month swung his axe at the cage that held the monkey inside to shut him up.

“SHUT UP!” the man screamed at the animal.

The man ripped open the cage and grabbed the primate. He hurled it in the air towards the fish tank directly beside the Megabuddies labeled “Red-Bellied Piranha”.

The capuchin screeched in terror as it soared through the air. Simian still felt sympathy for the poor thing, even though it had bitten his hand savagely enough to break the skin. He saw the fish swimming inside of the tank and leaped in front of the tank.

The monkey landed in Simian’s arms. The monkey hugged him over and over thankfully. Apparently now that Simian had saved his life from the Employee of the Month the monkey wanted to be friends now.

“I shall call you Mokey!” Simian told it lovingly.

The monkey nodded, chirped and then proceeded to climb up Simian’s arm and perch itself on Simian’s right shoulder like a parrot. Mokey pointed a finger angrily at the Employee of the Month, a quick learner that the man was he and Simian’s common enemy.

Suddenly the Employee of the Month leaped into the air and raised his axe upwards, ready to land a blow onto Zeldafan’s skull.

“MEGABUDDIES TAKE EVASIVE ACTION!” ordered Crimson as her sense of noble leadership suddenly overcame herself as adrenaline raced through her body.

Zeldafan tucked and rolled to the side, narrowly missing the axe blade as the Employee of the Month swiped at his head. The N64 fell out of Zeldafan’s arms and slid on the ground further down the aisle.

The Employee of the Month walked over to Zeldafan and raised his double bladed axe up into the air. “I claim your head in the name of the Wal-Mart corporation.”

ZF coughed on the ground and began crawling away from the man towards the N64 box weakly. The Employee of the Month snickered lightly amused. He ran up to ZF and began gleefully kicking him.

“You think you can escape your fate buckaroo?” laughed the Employee of the Month maniacally.

“Oh no! He’s no match for an axe!!!” gasped Soma.

“He needs the Holy Golf Club of Doom humans!” proclaimed Crimson. “Tom! Throw him the club! NOW HUMAN!!!”

Tom shoved his arm into the shopping cart and felt around for the Holy Golf Club of Doom. Finally he found it.

“Got it!” announced Tom. He began dancing in place in some sort of triumphant dance.

“Throw it stupid!” screamed Soma hysterically. “Brother needs it!!!”

“Oh yeah!” panted Tom. “ZF CATCH!!!”

Tom hurled the Holy Golf Club of Doom into the air towards his friend.

All of the Megabuddies held their breath as they watched the next events unfold.

The Employee of the Month raised his axe and was about to bring it down on Zeldafan’s rib cage when he heard the Megabuddies screaming to their friend.

Zeldafan raised his right hand in the air to catch the golf club but his foe turned in place and caught the golf club by the handle as it whizzed by in the air.

The Megabuddies gasped and looked at the Employee of the Month in terror.

“He has too much skill!!! Did you see those reflexes?” shouted Soma frightened out of her mind. “What a MAN!!!”

“SHUT UP SOMA!” screamed Simian and Cajun simultaneously

“This is bad...” mumbled Tom under his breath. His eyes widened in fear.

“I think we pissed him off more humans…” said Crimson as she stared at the Employee of the Month.

The Employee of the Month glared at the Megabuddies and then hurled the Holy Golf Club of Doom back at Tom like a tomahawk. The Holy Golf Club of Doom flew in front of Tom so fast that he didn’t have time to catch it and it hit him so hard that it impaled him through the upper left section of his chest. The handle part of the golf club had gone through his body all the way to the other side and was now poking out of his backside.

“TOM!!!” screamed all of the Megabuddies in terror.

“Heh.” scoffed the Employee of the Month.

“Oh *!@…” gasped Tom.

Tom looked down at the golf club as blood began gushing out of his open wound. He looked back up at the Employee of the Month with hate in his eyes.

“!@#$ you…” gurgled Tom as blood began running down the sides of his mouth.

The wounded Megabuddy coughed up some more blood and fell to his knees on the ground unable to move. Tom began staring off into space.

Simian ran over to Tom’s side and wrapped his arms around him. “Come on man. Don’t die on me. We’re gonna get you home. We’re gonna bring you back to base. And we’re gonna fix you up. And then we’re going to go play ding dong ditch. Good times… Good times… Come on man… Please don’t die.”

“NO!!!” yelled Zeldafan as he leaped up off of the floor and onto the Employee of the Month’s back.

“AAAGH!!!” snarled the Employee of the Month. “Get off of me!”

“YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS!!!” screamed Zeldafan as he began punching the man’s back.

All of the Megabuddies ran to assist ZF except for Simian, who remained by Tom’s side.


All of the Megabuddies leaped at the Employee of the Month. The Employee of the Month swiped his axe at the team as he tried to keep them at bay, but they moved to the side and dodged it.

“I feel cold Simian…” whispered Tom in pain. “I’m going to die aren’t I?”

Simian looked at Tom. Tom was pale, had lost a lot of blood, and had a beastly golf club sticking through his body. Simian cringed.

“No… No Tom… You’re going to be fine. It's an easy fix amigo.” he lied comfortingly.

“Simian you *(&%% liar! You and I both know the Employee of the Month has done me in!” snapped Tom as he continued to gurgle blood out of the sides of his mouth.

Simian frowned. “I’m gonna get you out of here buddy. Just hold in there! We’ll get through this together man!”

“Together!? Who the !@#$ am I? You’re *(&%% wife? I’m *(&%% dying here man! Screw you! I ain’t birthing no damn babies!!! I’m *(&%% dying!!! I’M DYING!!! I have a freaking golf club in my CHEST MAN!” screamed Tom miserably as he continued to bleed all over the floor.

“Shut up! You aren’t helping bro!” said Simian as he wrapped his arms around his friend’s shoulders. “Grab onto me!”

Tom wrapped his arms around Simian’s body and Simian began pulling him away from the aisle to safety.

“AAAAAAAAAGH!!! !@#$!!! IT HURTS!!!” screamed Tom insanely. He spat up a glob of crimson blood. “Uuuugh.”

“Need me to stop!?” shouted Simian. He stopped pulling on Tom.

Tom looked at him and then back at the golf club in his chest. “Just get me the hell out of here man! Do it! AAAAGH!!!”

Simian resumed pulling Tom away from the fight.

ZF bit into the Employee of the Month’s left ear and the man screamed in pain.

“YOU LITTLE &%&^!!!” growled the Employee of the Month. “YOU BIT MY EAR!!! You bit my *(&%% EAR!!!”

The man dropped the axe and reached behind him and pulled ZF off of his back. The man hurled ZF in front of him and he landed against the shelves that had all of the aquariums set on top of it.

The other MBs leaped forward and assumed ridiculously awesome battle stances.

A bunch of aquariums fell onto the ground and shattered, soaking the floor and ZF as glass, fish, snapping turtles, frogs and crabs landed all over the place.

“Eh… I hate being manhandled…” Zeldafan said to himself. He shuddered. “Oh god that felt so weird…”

ZF looked in his lap at a fried Furby that he had killed earlier during the battle in the toy aisle. He had putted it in the air and it had landed sections away in the fish tank. It had been in the tank directly above him.

“AAAAGH!!! FURBY!” screamed Zeldafan. He jumped up and hurled the Furby at the Employee of the Month.

“AAARGH!” snarled the Employee of the Month.

The Megabuddies all leaped at the Employee of the Month and began fighting randomly in hand to hand combat.

Gbleek however had crept away and grabbed a squeaky toy. He had now returned and began bludgeoning the man in the back of the head with it over and over. Every time the dog toy smacked the man silly in the back of the noggin it made a loud squeaky noise.

“I will kill you all! Because killing is amusing to me and I find it rather fun!” shouted the Employee of the Month.

“Get him! Get him! Get him, get him, get him!” shouted Crimson.

Soma and Cajun leaped for the man’s face but the man blocked their attacks. The man kicked Soma to the floor and punched Cajun in the gut. Cajun fell to the floor with Soma.

Crimson ran forward to distract the Employee of the Month.

“Get them out of here humans!” shouted Crimson to her friends as she punched the man’s face so hard that a tooth went flying out of his mouth.

The Employee of the Month turned to look at Crimson.

“You’re next girl!” yelled the Employee of the Month as he pointed at Crimson.

Crimson hissed at him and bared her fangs. “We shall see about that mortal. “Catch me if you can!”

Crimson at that point began crawling up on the huge shelf beside her and climbed up the very top.

“And where the hell do you think you’re going!?” barked the Employee of the Month.

“Somewhere away from you…” Crimson mumbled back.

“Why you little…”

Crimson stuck out her tongue in defiance and began dancing on top of the shelf doing the hokey pokey. The Employee of the Month became even further enraged at Crimson’s random dancing.


“Nah human… I like it up here… It’s nice…. And you aren’t here… That’s a pro too…” said Crimson rather bluntly as she continued to dance.

Geo, Laclipsey and Gbleek pulled Cajun and Soma away to safety out of the aisle as the Employee of the Month began shaking the shelf trying to knock Crimson down to the floor.

Crimson continued skillfully dancing however, failing to be distracted by the man angrily shaking the shelf.

The shelf began wobbling but Crimson continued to dance.

“Vampires can dance better than humans because they have better senses of balance, hand-eye coordination and rhythm.” Crimson boasted aloud proudly.

“DIE!!!” shouted the Employee of the Month.

The man rammed the shelf with his body and the shelf began wobbling left and right. Finally it stopped as it moved towards the man and began falling down.

The man looked up at the shelf, bags of dog and cat kibble, kitty litter, squeaky toys, water bowls and other pet supplies and screamed.

“NO!!!” screamed the Employee of the Month as the merchandise came crashing down on top of him.

Crimson landed like a cat, neatly on her feet on top of the shelf after it fell to the ground and her friends began clapping. She walked over to her friends and stared at the ruined shelf and the pile of merchandise that had ultimately crushed the Employee of the Month to death.

Everybody was silent for a minute until finally Gbleek spoke. “Think he’s dead?”

The silence resumed for about thirty more seconds until a red pool of blood began spilling all over the floor, coming out from under the pile of stuff that had fallen onto the Employee of the Month. There was no movement or noise coming from under the shelf.

“Yeah… Yeah he’s dead humans. We killed him. Actually I did but… Yeah..” muttered Crimson calmly.

The Megabuddies were all silent for another minute until Cajun spoke. “Cool…” said Cajun.

Everyone nodded and suddenly the elite team remembered that Tom had been wounded.

“Oh snap we forgot about Tom!” gasped Laclipsey.

End of Act 63

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
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Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:12 pm

"For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies."

Act 64

All of the Megabuddies walked over to Tom, who was lying on the ground bleeding to death a few aisles down. Tom was in Simian’s arms, Simian was rocking him back and forth.

“Come on man don’t leave us. STAY WITH ME AMIGO!!!” Simian shouted at Tom, slapping him on the face as tears rolled down his face.

“Teh… Teh... Tell Geo... I’m sorry about that DVD…” mumbled Tom quietly. He closed his eyes.

Simian slapped him again. “Come on amigo! Don’t talk like that! You’re not talking like a sane person man! You're delirious!”

Tom suddenly opened his eyes again and looked around. “Yeah… On second thought… No… I guess I’m not… You ARE right…” gurgled Tom as more blood gushed out of his wounds and onto his clothes, the floor, and Simian.

Simian’s clothes were drenched in blood. Simian’s hands and face were red as well.

Tom began violently coughing. “AAAAGH…” groaned Tom. “MAKE IT STOP… JUST KILL ME NOW… IT HURTS TOO MUCH…”

Crimson knelt down next to Tom and Simian as everyone looked at him sympathetically. “HUMAN! How does our comrade fare?” she asked Simian.

Simian didn’t look at her. He simply kept rocking Tom comfortingly.

Crimson tried again. “Simian. Look at me…” she whispered.

Simian turned his head and looked at her. “What Crimson?”

“How’s he holding up?”

“Bad Crimson…”

“How bad?”

“I don’t know honestly… I’m not a medic…” replied Simian. "Hmm... Why don't we have one yet... I bet Laclipsey would be a good medic..." Simian thought in his head.

Crimson frowned.

"Hmm... Why don't we have a medic yet... Hmm... I bet I would be a good medic... I should be one someday..." thought Laclipsey to himself.

Tom stuck his tongue out pathetically. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a car...” whimpered Tom. He began sobbing in Simian’s arms. “I’m going to die… Hey Seh… Sem… Simian… Tell everybody else… I died kissing a girl… Hot too…”

“Uh…” Simian groaned nervously. He didn’t know what to say. “I’ll try?”

“You… didn’t sound like you meant it Simian…” cried Tom. “Tis my dying wish and you shall DENY me it!?”

“You’re not dying man! We’re gonna save you! Just hang in there amigo!”

“No… No you won’t. It’s too late. Nothing can save me now…” whispered Tom.

Tom closed his eyes and began bawling again in misery.

Cajun and ZF pulled Crimson away from Tom and Simian. They took Crimson further down the aisle the group was in and turned their backs away from the main group.

“WHAT HUMANS!?” hissed Crimson annoyed. She flashed her pearly white fangs at the two of them. “I’m busy trying to figure out what we should do with the sickly human. If you need to use the bathroom you don’t need to ask me jeez…”

“Not that.” said Zeldafan.

“It’s about Tom…” added Cajun.

“Oh…” mumbled Crimson.

“Yeah…” sighed Cajun.

“He’s lost too much blood. He is going to DIE here on that floor if we don’t do something Crimson. He needs to get to a hospital...” said Zeldafan pointing out the obvious just like the know it all he is.

“That’s obvious human! Such a waste of perfectly good blood… All over the floor… Oh wait… Humans NEED blood… Oh yeah… They’re mortal… Hmm…” Crimson said. “But what the hell are we gonna do!? He isn’t going anywhere with a GOLF CLUB in his CHEST.”

“We have a few options here…” said Cajun. “First off we could always try moving him like he is…”

“FAIL.” commented ZF. “That thing needs to be patched up like it is now before he loses any further blood. I’m not even sure how much he has LEFT… Besides… I personally want my Holy Golf Club of Doom back…”

“Can’t you think of anyone else right now? Your friend is dying man!” shouted Cajun. He shoved Zeldafan against a shelf angrily.

“Humans. This is not the time to argue over who likes me more in the disguise of internal group conflicts over the deadly situation of a teammate! Tsk tsk…” said Crimson rolling her eyes.

Zeldafan and Cajun frowned. “WE ARE NOT!!!” they both yelled at her.

“SURE you weren’t…” Crimson winked at them.

“Whatever…” Cajun mumbled annoyed. “Second option is we pull the golf club out, patch him up and hope for the best. We’d need to help him walk though. He’s too weak…”

“What else can we do mortal?” yawned Crimson bored.

“Uh… Another option is we… Well… I feel TERRIBLE for even suggesting this but it’s true…” Cajun began nervously.

“WHAT WHAT WHAT!?” sputtered Crimson. “I don’t have time to waste human. I want to get home as soon as I can so I can play our new Pikachu N64 as soon as I can… This whole Tom thing just keeps dragging along… You know… Just like Geo when we were running past the CD section.” she explained hastily.

Cajun continued. “We could just leave him behind… He’d slow us down and it’d be risky to do a medical operation here in this field… No matter how hasty it’s performed…” he paused. “We’re still behind enemy lines and by the time we finished fixing him up we’d probably discover he died on us during the operation. In all honesty… It’s the safest thing for the GROUP. But morally it’s just not right… I feel like hurling for even suggesting it…”

“NO!” protested ZF. “Leave no Megabuddy behind remember!? Remember!?”

“Quiet ZF… I’m thinking it over…” interrupted Crimson. She scratched her chin lightly as she pondered the last suggestion. “HMM….”

“Crimson! You can’t be serious!” objected Zeldafan bitterly.

“Be quiet human or face the wrath… OF CRIMSON!” she hissed and bared her fangs at him.

“Oh please. Those aren’t even real.” laughed Zeldafan. “Right Cajun?”

Cajun didn’t say anything. ZF looked at his friend.

“Cajun? They aren’t real right?” insisted Zeldafan.

Cajun shrugged. “I dunno.”

“HMM….” said Crimson loudly as she continued to imagine what could happen if they took each choice. It seemed as if she wanted the attention by the way she kept going “HMM…” loudly over and over.

“Well there is another option you guys…” said Cajun.

“What is it?” asked Crimson, stopping in the middle of a “HMM…” to ask the question.

“TELL.” persisted Zeldafan.

“We could always… Do a mercy kill.” said Cajun tensely.

Zeldafan turned and looked at Tom. He turned back to face Crimson and Cajun.

“Well… It IS ethical… Better than just leaving him there in pain on the ground for the Wal-Mart employees to find him…” said Zeldafan.

“True…” commented Cajun. “So true… And he WAS begging for us to kill him a few minutes ago to make the pain go away..."

"Maybe he meant kill me... As in... kill the pain... With morphine or something man."

“Nah I like the leave him behind option better. It is the best option.” Crimson said dryly.

Zeldafan and Cajun stared at Crimson.

“What?” coughed Cajun. “Why?”

“Because… It’s faster than the choice you are currently contemplating. And I want out of the house of death mortals…” Crimson explained.

“Aw screw it let’s just try and patch him up and hope for the best you guys.” groaned Zeldafan annoyed at the fact that they couldn’t decide on what to do about Tom.

“Sounds good. He is our friend after all… What if it were one of us?” added Cajun.

“What? I am leader HUMANS. How DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY AUTHORITY MORTALS!” complained Crimson. She pouted and crossed her arms displeased. “Humans I am leader and I say we leave him. It’s best for all of us.”

“Everyone except for him…” said Zeldafan sadly.

“Yeah.” whispered Cajun.

ZF and Cajun left Crimson standing alone to go help Tom. Crimson acted more displeased and realized that they weren’t going to listen to her this time for once.

“Guys?” muttered Crimson. “Please don’t’ leave me alone I’m... I'm... Grr... I'm... I'm sorry!” She ran after them. “Fine. We'll do this, but we’re doing this as a group because I agree to it now and it is what I decree.”

“Whatever.” muttered Cajun.

“WOOHOO!!!” sighed Crimson triumphantly. “MY WILL BE DONE!” she exclaimed happily.

“He still alive?” Crimson asked Simian concerned.

Cajun, Crimson and ZF all stared at Tom who wasn’t moving.

“Nah he’s just unconscious from all of that blood loss… Poor dude.” said Laclipsey.

“Oh.” said Crimson. “Well humans we are going to move him to the shopping cart and make a quick detour trip to the pharmacy on the way out of the store. We have got to find some band-aids for Tom. As you can see he is bleeding and band-aids go on cuts.”

“Band-aids are for small cuts and bug bites and blisters commander. I think he’d need something bigger. It's not necessarily a cut... Once we pull out the Holy Golf Club of Doom it'll be... a lot bigger... What's a better word for it...” Soma butted in.

"Gaping hole?" suggested Gbleek.

"Yes. A gaping hole. Thanks. One freaking huge gaping hole... In his chest." finished Soma.

“FINE. GOSH MY DUCKLINGS. We’ll find some duct tape then…” the leader groaned. “Any objections to THAT?”

Everybody shrugged without objections.

“Let’s toss him in the shopping cart then.” proclaimed Laclipsey.

“Shouldn’t we take the golf club out of his chest first?” asked Soma concerned.

“Nah he’ll be fine.” laughed Gbleek.

Gbleek knelt down next to Tom and grabbed his legs. Simian grabbed his arms and stood up. The pair of Megabuddies tossed their ally mindlessly onto the body of Nathan. Tom suddenly awoke open landing and cried out in pain.

“AAAAGH… MY BACK!” howled Tom in pain. “Something sharp is under me…” he groaned miserable.

The Transformer toy was still on top of Nathan and was now poking Tom’s soft tender flesh.

“It hurts...” complained Tom. “EVERYTHING hurts…” he added quickly before coughing up some more blood and spitting it onto the floor at Soma’s feet.

"*!@ happens! Deal with it!" Gbleek growled at Tom.

Tom closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at Gbleek making a scary threatening face at him as well as so that he wouldn't have to stare at the ridiculously shiny golf club that had gored him deep in the chest.

“ZF take care of the primary objective.” ordered Crimson.

“You mean Tom?” he asked.


ZF frowned and looked at her tensely. "Primary Crimson?" he asked.

"THE primary objective duckling! The N64… IT is the SOLE reason we came back here to this place of DEATH in the first place! You do still have it under control right?”


Crimson face-palmed when she finally realized that her minion wasn’t carrying it no more. “Where is it?”

“I think I dropped it in the aisle over when the Employee of the Month jumped me..” groaned ZF nervously.

“Then go get it mortal. We’ll wait here.”

ZF grumbled and left the main group to retrieve the primary objective.

ZF went back and got the N64. It had been covered up in rubble from when the shelf had collapsed and fell over, yet surprisingly it was miraculously unharmed and still in mint condition.

When he returned with the mission’s primary objective the group took a stroll a few aisles down to the pharmacy and medicine area with Crimson in the lead, Gbleek in the rear and Soma pushing the shopping cart.

End of Act 64

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Cajun Canine

Posts : 1101
Join date : 2010-01-13
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Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:14 pm

"For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz."

Act 65

Once the Megabuddies had arrived in the medicine department they nervously looked around at the customers shopping around them.

“OH MY GOD!!! THERE’S A KID IN A SHOPPING CART BLEEDING TO DEATH WITH A GOLF CLUB IMPALED IN HIS CHEST!!! AAAAAGH!!! MURDERERS!!!” screamed a woman after she noticed the presence of the Megabuddies.

The woman pointed at the cart for the other shoppers to see and then ran off screaming. The other customers looked at Tom groaning in pain and then saw the bodies underneath of him.

“AAAGH!!! They aren’t MURDERERS!!! THEY’RE SERIAL KILLERS!!! RUN!!! WE MUST FETCH HELP!!!” shouted a man upon seeing the bloody corpse of the viciously raped Megabuddy Nathan.

“AAAAAAAAAAGH!!! That kid looks like he was raped after he got murdered!” shrieked a woman right before fainting.

The Megabuddies watched the chaotic scene unfolding quite insulted. The Megabuddies all frowned.

“We aren’t murdering rapists HUMANS!!! THAT’S WAL-MART AND THAT FAT GERMAN MAN!!!” pouted Crimson offended.


“GOSH… WHY do you all think we’re murderers!?” shouted Crimson.

Laclipsey nudged Crimson. “Well leader… A shopping cart full of bloody bodies ISN’T very normal…”

“They’re still overreacting Laclipsey! Do we LOOK like murderers!?” argued Crimson annoyed.

“Well… no not at all… We’re just a bunch of young adults shopping at your local Wal-Mart…”

“EXACTLY.” groaned Crimson. “We simply require use of the medical supplies in this department. It is our mission to aqquire fresh supplies for immediate use. STOP FREAKING OUT!!!” hissed Crimson. She crossed her arms.

“THEY WANT MEDICAL SUPPLIES!!!” gasped a woman.


“WE DO NOT!!!” shouted Simian upset. He angrily crossed his arms.

Mokey chirped on Simian’s shoulder and angrily crossed his arms, mirroring Simian’s every move.

“It’s ok mommy the freak with the monkey said they don’t.” said the youngest child.

“THEY LIE!!! DON’T LISTEN TO HIS HORRIBLE HORRIBLE LIES!!! HE PREACHES THE DEVIL!” screamed the woman as she covered her daughter’s ears.

The group ran away faster.

Soon all of the pharmaceutical section was clear with the exception of two Wal-Mart employees working at the pharmacy window where you order and pick up prescriptions.

“That was weird…” remarked Cajun casually.

“Yeah. Better hurry. Word travels fast, especially in a large department store such as this one. The Wal-Mart employees will be here soon.” said Zeldafan.

“All right humans listen up for your orders.” announced Crimson. Everyone looked at her and gave her their full attention. “Cajun, run off and find me some duct tape and come back. Simian, go find me some hot glue and a hot glue gun in the craft section. Gbleek, I need you to find me a staple gun. Soma find me some morphine or something and some band-aids, anti-septic too human. ZF, I want for you to go help Soma look around and see if they have any kind of pills that look weird colored and IMPORTANT looking. And Soma, the anti-septic needs to be THE KIND THAT BURNS! Burns, burns like FIRE!!! NOW GO! GO! GO MY DUCKLINGS!” ordered Crimson hastily.

“What about me?” asked Laclipsey. He was the only Megabuddy who hadn’t been issued an order.

“You’re going to hold our position here with me until the others get back, Laclipsey.” Crimson told him.

“Oh okay.” Laclipsey grinned. “That sounds easy enough. I kick &*( for the lord!”

“And then you’re going to do an emergency surgery operation on our comrade Tom here, behind enemy lines.” Crimson added.

“Wait what?” said Laclipsey.

“You have the most experience in the field of medicine and thus you are the one we shall entrust his life in.” said Crimson dryly. “Is there a problem!?”

“Well… Why me?” he asked confused. “I’m not sure I know much more than tying a tourniquet and sewing people up…”

“Sounds like you know enough to me.” remarked Simian.

“Oh… Fine…” said Laclipsey nervously. He wasn’t confident enough in his abilities as a field doctor to just willingly go along with the plan without questioning himself in his head. “Me!? Why me… My friend’s gonna die and it’ll all be my fault… I'll have his blood on my hands... I'm not sure I'd be able to live with that...” cried Laclipsey inside his head.

“All right my ducklings! GO GO GO!!! BE BACK IN LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES HUMANS!!! We have a man down and bleeding to death!” barked Crimson.

The Megabuddies all dutifully saluted their leader. Crimson didn’t salute back.

“You know if someone salutes you, that you are supposed to salute back… Right Crimson?” inquired Soma.

“Yeah… well… This isn’t the military. We are the Megabuddies.” yawned Crimson.

“It’s still a sign of respect…” continued Soma.

“OH FINE HUMANS… Would it make you all happy if I saluted you all, my ducklings?” Crimson asked her followers.

Everyone nodded.

"OH YES CRIMSON! It would make me UBER happy and proud to be respected by the leader!" exclaimed Cajun joyfully.

Crimson sighed and finally saluted her friends.

“Now off with you all.” hissed Crimson.

The Megabuddies all scampered off in search of the random items that weren’t even real medical supplies, save for the things that Soma was looking for.

Crimson turned to Laclipsey and hastily whipped out a cardboard box from out of nowhere.

“Huh?” said Laclipsey.

“While we wait for the other humans to fetch our crude surgical tools, would you care to lose to me in a game of Connect Four?” asked Crimson politely. She smiled and shook the box invitingly. “You KNOW you want to.”

Laclipsey ignored the question and instead asked his own. “Eh... Where you get that game Crimson?”

“Eh… Vampires have many secrets human. THIS… THIS is one of them. Don’t ask.” Crimson explained.

“Okay…” muttered Laclipsey a bit frightened.

“Now do you want to play or not?” Crimson asked him again.

“Fine.” Laclipsey agreed.

“YES!!!” exclaimed Crimson excitedly.

Crimson and Laclipsey sat down on the floor next to the shopping cart and began setting up the game.

End of Act 65

Hope you liked it. :3 Next chapter... We battle... :o And Tom gets an emergency operation in the midst of it as the Megabuddies fight on! :loco: Including staples in his belly. =3 XPPP

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Cajun Canine

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Age : 26
Location : Georgia, USA

PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:15 pm

"For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies."

Act 66

“HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!” squeaked Shadow. He paused in terror upon hearing his voice. “OH NO! I sound like a freaking chipmunk!”

“No Shadow, actually… You sound like a chipette.” a nearby co-worker corrected him. “You actually sound like Alvin’s girlfriend to be specific.” said the woman.

“OH LORD!” screamed Shadow embarrassed. “HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!?”

“I think you got too excited and practiced your evil laugh too many times. You’ve been practicing evil laughs non-stop for the past forty five minutes... I think you have laryngitis.” explained the employee.

“But how did I end up sounding like a fricking CHIPETTE!?” screamed Shadow.


Shadow began sobbing pathetically with snot dripping out of his nostrils in shame as he opened up his register.

“I can take people over here…” squeaked Shadow to the growing crowd of customers waiting to be checked out.

Customers began shoving fellow customers out of their way as they fought over who would be first in line at the newly opened register.

Several minutes passed before any of the brave crusaders were heard from again.

Meanwhile Tom lay unattended to in the shopping cart with an unsightly bestial golf club sticking out of his upper chest near his ribcage, slowly dying from blood loss and crying out for help.

“Help me…” moaned Tom pathetically. He gurgled for a few seconds and coughed up a nasty wad of blood.

Crimson and Laclipsey were ignoring him and sitting cross-legged on the ground with the Connect Four grid between them. They were both heavily involved in a hardcore match of Connect Four.

Crimson groaned. “Oh JEEZ Tom. You’re so freaking needy today! “This lump on my neck keeps getting bigger. Geo is trying to murder me. I’m bleeding to death in a shopping cart.” Stop being so dang needy! I’m trying to play Connect Four with Laclipsey!” Crimson shook an angry fist at Tom threateningly.

Crimson turned her head and looked at Laclipsey ominously. Shiny beads of sweat ran down Laclipsey’s face as he stared at the game grid intensely, struggling to decide where to make his next move. Finally deciding on a nice spot, he shakily moved his hand forward and dropped a small black checker into the grid. It plummeted down and landed on top of two others of the same color. It had landed in such a way that no matter what Crimson did in her next move, she had no way of winning.

Laclipsey sighed contently. “Beat THAT leader.”

Crimson looked at the board and saw all of the black checkers lined up. She looked at her companion rather distastefully and began scheming in her head, desperate for a way to get out of the trouble she was in. She picked up a red checker and dropped it into the grid on one of the black checkers.

“King me human!” Crimson smiled innocently.

Laclipsey raised a brow confused. “Huh? Excuse me Crimson?”

“I said to KING me Laclipsey. What’s wrong, can’t you hear me?”

“Uh… Are you SURE you’ve played this game before Crimson?” questioned Laclipsey suspiciously.

“Loads of times human! Haven’t YOU ever played this game before? Everyone knows that in certain situations such as mine you have to king someone. Don’t you humans know how to do anything? I thought you knew how to play Connect Four…” argued Crimson.

“Well how DO I king you!?” shouted Laclipsey extremely confused. His head began to hurt from all of the strange things Crimson was preaching as the truth.

Suddenly Laclipsey looked up and saw all of the other MBs running back towards them with the coveted objects that they had quested for. Behind the Megabuddies were some unwanted disciples who were hounding them like crazy.

“Oh *!@ we have company.” said Crimson. “Employees inbound!” she shouted aloud. “Wait… Employees!? YOU IDIOTS!!! NOT OVER HERE!!! RUN SOMEWHERE ELSE!!! DON’T BRING EM OVER HERE HUMANS!!!” she screeched.

“Oh my god!” screamed Soma insanely as she sprinted for dear life as employees chased after her and Zeldafan. “Save me brother!!! Save me Laclipsey! Save me Leader!”

Laclipsey and Crimson stood up and began shaking their arms, both pointing in directions different from where they were standing, urging their friends to not alert the employees to their presence in the pharmacy section.

"Go away! Don't bring them over to us!!!" groaned Laclipsey terrified.

“Yes! We see you guys! We’re coming Crimson! Don’t worry!” shouted Zeldafan gleefully, quite oblivious to the fact that he was being yelled at to hide from the employees elsewhere. “They’re waving for us to come over Soma! They’re gonna help us!”

“Thank god!” said Soma. She hugged a bunch of medical supplies tightly against her chest as Zeldafan did the same.

“They’re ignoring us!” said Laclipsey.

Crimson growled. “PREPARE FOR BATTLE HUMAN!!!"

“Please stop ignoring me… I feel funny… I can’t feel anything below my waist… I think I have a spinal cord injury…” whined Tom dizzily.


“I’ll be good…” gurgled Tom right before passing out.

All of the Megabuddies were back at the shopping cart now with the medical supplies and they thrust them into Laclipsey’s waiting arms.

“Get to work Laclipsey! We will protect you!” shouted Crimson. “MEGABUDDIES! DEFEND!” she commanded heroically as numerous employees rushed the group from all sides. “Form a circle and protect Laclipsey while he works on Tom!”

“Yes leader!” shouted Simian as he leaped onto the face of an employee in the style and fashion of an angry chimpanzee.

End of Chapter 66

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Cajun Canine

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PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:16 pm

"For friendship. For humanity. For the lolz. This is the story of the Megabuddies."

Chapter 67

Laclipsey tried to lift Tom out of the shopping cart so that he could lay him onto the ground to operate but found that he was too heavy to lift by himself. Laclipsey thought for a few seconds and then pushed the shopping cart to the side so that Tom rolled off the top and onto the ground.

Tom landed on the ground with a heavy thud and the golf club wiggled around in his chest causing enough excruciating pain to revive him from his unconscious state.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!” screamed Tom. “OH GOD!!! IT HURTS!!! EVERYTHING HURTS!!!” he whimpered. “MORPHINE DOC!!! GIMME SOME FRIGGING MORPHINE!!!” Tom screamed at him. He began wailing in pain as Laclipsey dug his hands through the pile of items that his friends had found.

Laclipsey grasped a syringe and filled it up with some strange fluid that he assumed was morphine, not even bothering to check the label. Laclipsey raised it up into the air and thrust it in Tom’s chest. Tom’s eyes widened and he began screaming even louder as if his right leg was being amputated below the knee.


Laclipsey read the label on the bottle that he had injected Tom with and discovered that it had been adrenaline. Laclipsey looked around nervously and hid it in his pocket out of sight. He looked around among the items he had been fetched and discovered Soma hadn’t found any morphine.

“Uh… I gave you morphine man. I don’t know why it didn’t work…” Laclipsey lied.

“WELL IT DIDN’T WORK! I NEED MORE!!! MORE I SAY!!!” screamed Tom. “GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!” he demanded.

“No! You’ll overdose or something… Here have some of these!” said Laclipsey, grabbing a random box of strange looking pills that Zeldafan had found.

Laclipsey ripped the lid off the cardboard box and crammed several sleeping pills into Tom’s mouth forcefully. Tom protested and began screaming something unintelligible at Laclipsey due to the fact that the Megabuddy having his hand in his mouth was rather hampering his ability to speak, before passing out suddenly.

The medic whipped out a pocket knife from out of nowhere and used it to cut Tom’s shirt off so that he could operate easier. He put the knife away.

Laclipsey gripped the handle on the Holy Golf Club of Doom and pulled on it vigorously until he had yanked it out of Tom’s body. A gratuitous amount of blood shot out of Tom’s chest and onto Laclipsey’s body, drenching him completely in his friend’s blood. Laclipsey wiped his eyes so that he could see and then looked around the battlefield at all of his friends kicking &*( in a defensive circle.

“Jeez I hope Tom isn’t HIV positive or something…” Laclipsey mumbled to himself. “HEY ZF, CATCH!!!”

Laclipsey hurled the golf club in the air to Zeldafan, who was getting the crap beaten out of him by several employees dressed in pharmaceutical lab clothes. Zeldafan was truly powerless without the Holy Golf Club of Doom in his possession, having much in common with a turtle lying upside down on it’s shell.

Zeldafan raised his arm in the air and caught the mighty putter and began rapidly swinging it in the air, speedily bashing his foes in the head over and over with the golf club as if he was playing a game of Whack-a-Mole at a local Chuck-E-Cheese while high on crack.

“DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!” screamed Zeldafan enthusiastically as he bashed each employee in the head.

Mokey leaped off of Simian’s shoulder and hopped onto a nearby employee’s face. Clinging to the man’s ears, it proceeded to bite off his nose and spit it out onto the floor.

"GOOD BOY MOKEY!!! WHAT A GOOD BOY!!!" Simian praised the primate, talking really weird like a baby.

Laclipsey unscrewed the cap to a huge bottle of antiseptic, the kind that burns like fire, and dumped the entire container down the hole in Tom. Tom writhed in pain and began screaming like a girl aloud, as if Freddy Kreuger was murdering him but he was unable to awake from his nightmare, doomed to be murdered in his dream. Tom’s insides sizzled and burned, scalding his flesh and causing the smell of burning flesh to permeate the air. Steam arose from inside the hole and then evaporated into nothingness.

The medic tossed the empty plastic bottle behind him and grabbed the hot glue gun, crammed a glue stick into it and plugged it into a charger on a nearby wall. He set it down and then grabbed the staple gun on the ground, pushed one side of the hole in Tom’s chest against the flesh on the other side and squeezed the staple gun. A staple shot out and pinned the flesh together. He continued going staple crazy on Tom as Tom winced in pain as he slumbered.

“You’re SO cute…” muttered Tom as he dreamed.

Laclipsey raised a brow horrified and looked around confused. He looked back at Tom and saw he still had his eyes closed. “Uh… you don’t mean me do you?”

Tom giggled gaily. “Of COURSE I mean you dear, my darling Brittney, let us elope to Singapore where we shall breed like rabbits. Ten children will suffice. And they’ll all wait on us like obedient indentured servants as we corrupt the nation’s youth by distributing instructional pamphlets on how to set up new Sony HDTVs.”

Tom would have continued sleep talking but a terrified Laclipsey grabbed the duct tape and wrapped it around Tom’s mouth several times, thus silencing him.

Geo was struggling to retain his sanity without music or Disney DVDS and had decided to sing a song to cope. Unfortunately all of the Disney promoted songs had rotted away the part of his brain that stored lyrics to good songs and all that Geo remembered were simple nursery rhymes.

“Jack and Jill went UP a hill to fetch a PAIL of WATER! Jack fell DOWN and broke his CROWN and JILL came tumbling AFTER!!!” cackled Geo, stark raving mad as tears rolled down his face as he suffered the overwhelming effects of withdrawal from overexposure to Disney movies and music.

“EAT THIS!” shouted Crimson as she shoved a container full of Advil into an employee’s throat.

The employee began convulsing and foaming at the mouth before falling over dead of an overdose.

Laclipsey grabbed the hot glue gun and pressed the tip against the hole on Tom’s chest being crudely held in place by tons of staples. He squeezed the trigger and began pouring hot glue all over the wound.

Tom woke up at this point again and began squirming in pain. Tom put his hands up to punch Laclipsey, desperate to make him stop, but was punched in the face out cold.

“Stop moving. You’re gonna make me have to start over!” he shouted at the unconscious Tom.

The hot glue closed the wound and Laclipsey rolled Tom over on his belly. Laclipsey repeated the process with the staple gun before using the hot glue gun once more to touch him up. He grabbed the roll of black duct tape and rolled it around Tom’s chest numerous times, the duct tape serving as a makeshift dressing to Tom’s wound, before patting Tom on the face to wake him up.

Tom however was a heavy sleeper and still out cold.

“COME ON MAN WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE! YOU’RE GOOD MAN!” Laclipsey screamed in his ears.

Tom’s eyes opened suddenly startled and looked around at Laclipsey. Tom stripped the duct tape off of his mouth slowly.

“Ow!” said Tom as he yanked it off. “What the freaking hell!? There’s duct tape on my chest man! When I go to take it off it’s going to rip off all of my MANLY chest hairs! It’ll take weeks to grow them back!” he complained disgruntled.

Laclipsey rolled his eyes. “Can you walk?”

“No… Feel kinda… tired…” Tom groaned yawning.

“This is adrenaline. You’re going to feel this.” Laclipsey told him as he took out the bottle of adrenaline and filled the syringe up.

Tom looked at the bottle curiously. “How odd… The adrenaline looks just like morphine.” He remarked amused, heavily unaware that it was the exact same bottle.

Laclipsey stuck Tom with the syringe and Tom had an adrenaline rush and felt renewed stamina, other than being rather dizzy from blood loss.

“It’s a miracle doctor! I feel better… And I have energy again! OH GOD it still hurts though… Can I, can I have some more of that morphine? The first time didn’t really help…” said Tom amazed.

“Uh… No. You’ve had enough.” Laclipsey told him. “Now come on we need to help the others! We’re in the middle of a battle!”

“Actually you missed the battle human. We killed them all already.” Crimson corrected him cheerily.

Laclipsey turned around and saw Crimson standing over him with the other Megabuddies all watching them.

“Oh.” said Laclipsey. He helped Tom stand up. “How’d it go?”

“We kicked their butts human, can’t you see all of the dead bodies on the ground and how we, the triumphant victorious Megabuddies, are standing drenched in blood as wind rustles our clothes?” boasted Crimson.

At that moment a gust from a nearby air conditioning vent shot out a gust of air that moved among the Megabuddies, making their hair and clothes move epically. If they had been carrying a flag it would have waved at that moment.

“Now come on get the shopping cart and let’s beat it. I want to go to T.G.I. Fridays humans! Soma, grab the shopping cart and ZF you need to carry the N64. The rest of my ducklings, onwards we march to the front of the store to make our epic escape, epic enough to make Houdini kill himself ashamed of how little skill he has in comparison to ours!” commanded the leader heroically.

“Harry Houdini’s dead Crimson… How would he kill himself?” Cajun pointed out.

“Uh… New Orleans voodoo black magic!” Crimson quickly explained.

“Oooooooh.” said everyone else in astonishment. “NOW I see.”

And with the Houdini question being answered, the Megabuddies were once again on their merry way to salvation outside the store walls.

End of Chapter 67

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Cajun Canine

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PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:17 pm

For friendship. For humanity. For the lulz. This is the story of the Megabuddies.

Chapter 68

The Megabuddies ran heroically to the front of the store, shoving Wal-Mart shoppers to the ground as they ran past them. The customers of the evil store were just as annoying and dangerous as the people who worked there. If the customers felt threatened by the presence of others in their territory, their territory being the aisles they were browsing and the items they desired to purchase, they would turn on the Megabuddies without a heartbeat and attempt to brutally murder them with the rage of uncontrollable buyer’s impulse.


“Ramming speed!” screamed Soma at the top of her lungs as she hit a pedestrian with her shopping cart.

“Don’t stop my ducklings! We’re almost to checkout!” shouted their leader heroically. “From there it’s just another twenty employees to the entrance!”

The Megabuddies turned a blind corner; the checkout lanes were now completely visible. Soma accidentally ran the cart into a display full of new release DVDS, collapsing the cardboard fold up and sending movies flying everywhere. Cajun saw them and fell to his knees, unable to pass them up.

“Oooh!!! Oooh!!! I don’t have this one yet!!!” squealed Cajun, grabbing a DVD and looking at it excitedly. He picked up another and looked at the case. “This movie was *!@.” Cajun broke the plastic case and flung it at one of the employees that was chasing them, the employee screamed in pain. Cajun picked up another and inspected it. “Hmm… I liked this one… But I’m not sure if it was worth this price….”

Sadly for Cajun, before he could decide on if he wanted to take the DVD home with him or not, Simian and Laclipsey tackled him from behind, dragging their comrade with them forcefully as he plead for mercy and screamed to be left behind, and as they did so the two DVDS that Cajun had been holding fell out of his hands.

“We’ll stop at Blockbuster later!” Simian shouted to Cajun in an attempt to calm him down.

Upon hearing Simian, Cajun stopped struggling and his friends released him, each resuming what they had previously been doing, brutalizing Wal-Mart shoppers protecting their items of value.


“Aaaagh!” shrieked Zeldafan alarmed. “There’s a fattie at twelve-o-clock Soma! Look out!” he warned her. “It’s an Uber Immortal! We’re doomed!”

Soma saw the fat bulky man ahead of her and struggled to turn the cart in time to dodge it. “He’s too fat and wide!!! I’m going to hit him!” she screamed in terror.

The morbidly fat man belched and pieces of food caught in his teeth went flying into the air. All of the Megabuddies leaped to the side for cover. Soma let go of the shopping cart right before she hit the customer and the cart went deep into the man’s belly.

The fat man grunted enraged as he struggled to pull the shopping cart out of his numerous folds of fat.

“AAAAGH!!!” roared the man at the top of his lungs. He gripped the shopping cart with his hands and the metal began to bend at his will. “CART HIT ME!!! I BREAK CART!!!”

He began screaming louder as the Megabuddies cowered in fear of the man that ZF had labeled an Uber Immortal, and it was very easy to see why he had called him one, he was very large and intimidating. The man’s whole body turned red and suddenly the cart went flying out of his chest and up into the air. Nathan and Belbell’s bodies went soaring out of the cart and landed somewhere in a checkout lane.

“Oh great you guys, we lost Nathan and Belbell!” groaned Laclipsey.

“Well they can’t have gone far…” wheezed Tom painfully.

“How we going to find him smart guy?” asked Simian.

“Follow the screams…” grunted Tom, clasping his chest.

At that very second numerous people began screaming and running away from checkout aisle seventeen.

“There you go.” scoffed ZF.

“To the source of mass panic and disorderly conduct!!! Number 17!!!” commanded Crimson, pointing at the panicking shoppers trampling over an employee as they fled the location where the bodies of the departed Megabuddies had rained down from the sky.

The Megabuddies all ran up to the checkout lane just in time to see Nathan’s bloody mangled and raped body, which was currently lying face down on top of Belbell’s bloody and ravaged corpse, riding the conveyor belt up to the part of checkout where an employee scans the barcodes on things to find prices. The Megabuddies looked horrified at the dead bodies as the corpses reached the end of the conveyor belt.

The laser scanner pointed up at Nathan’s limp and lifeless face, scanning him in the store’s database for a price. The laser intensified as it went through Nathan’s glasses, and when it reached his face struck his eyes with such a built up force that Nathan’s eyes exploded out of their sockets. Nathan’s face drooped downward and goofily frowned before falling off the conveyor belt from the impact of the price check. He fell to the ground with a heavy thud.

Belbell’s body however was simply going back and forth on the conveyor belt, her head continuously knocking on the machine that shows what you are buying as things are scanned. The machine finally split her head open and blood spilled out all over the conveyor belt. Seconds later the blood returned as it continued it’s never ending loop.

As all of this happened, the employee working the checkout lane soiled his pants again in fear as he looked at the dead bodies.

“I really need to start wearing adult diapers instead of underwear…” thought Shadow. “Oh god, oh god… It’s them… Oh hey… It’s Crimson…” he continued to think. “Quick, say something cool to impress her.” He thought for a second before looking up at his friends, who were now all staring at his blue vest silently. “Hey baby, wanna go make out in the employee lounge? It’s now asbestos free and the coffee machine actually works!”

Crimson stared at him awkwardly. “Huh?”

Shadow panicked and his face turned red. “Uh… Oh god… What to do? What to do?” he thought.” His hands fumbled around near the register until he found the silent alarm button. Shadow pressed it and nervously laughed. "Hey guys, what's up? Did we get the Sega Saturn?"

"N64." corrected Zeldafan, looking at him suspiciously.

"Whatever bro, they're all the same man!" Shadow nervously laughed again, but in a kind of irritating way.

"What are you doing in a blue vest man?" asked Gbleek. He pointed at Shadow's clothes and the name-tag.

"OH... Oh this... Well you see I killed a man and stole his clothes. See I figured I could stealthily sneak around unharmed if I acted like one of them..." said Shadow. He shifted his eyes around, and then looked at Crimson with a goofy smile.

Crimson bared her fangs at him however and his heart jumped. Did she know what he was up to? Crimson finished yawning and closed her mouth, apparently she didn't, it was just a yawn.

"Oh... Why you working a register though?" spat Gbleek.

"Are you questioning my loyalties you little *!@!?" roared Shadow, he reached over the register and grabbed Gbleek's shirt. Shadow waved a fist in Gbleek's face. "Well are you!?"

Gbleek licked Shadow's arm in silent retaliation and Shadow screamed. "EW MAN!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?" cried Shadow as he wiped his arm on his vest.

Gbleek smirked. He had won.

"Hey you seen Brad, Shadow? We haven't seen him in over an hour!" asked Crimson.

"Oh about Brad you guys... I hate to break it to you... But he died man. He died in my arms, they got him... They got him good... Killed him with a squeegee in the automotive section... Last words to me were "Take care of Crimson, Shadow. Promise me this..."" Shadow faked some tears and put his hands over his face.

"You saw him die?" asked Simian about to cry as well.

"Yeah..." lied Shadow. "Poor $&#@(@... But don't worry Crimson, I'm going to take good care of you now that you're my girl." Shadow smiled.

"What!? I'm not your girl Shadow..." said Crimson confused.

"What did you just say..." said Shadow gritting his teeth. His face twitched as he began to go insane from having been rejected too many times by the one he had a schoolyard crush on.

Crimson looked at him and scratched her chin. "I'm not your gi-" Shadow leaped over the counter and grabbed her skinny neck. He raised her up into the air.

"Yes, yes you are. You're MINE now. And I'm NOT taking no for an answer Crimson." hissed Shadow.

"Shadow... You're hurting me!" grunted Crimson as she struggled in his grasp.

"Leader!!!" screamed the other Megabuddies.

"Release her!" shouted a voice in the distance.

“Sir, one of our employees just pressed the silent alarm button.” said a man staring at a flashing red siren in the security room.

The store manager looked at the flashing red lights and pondered momentarily. “Eh… Send fifty employees to take them out.”

“But sir, you don’t understand. The camera feed shows that these are the people who have been raising hell in our store all day!” the security guard informed him.

The store manager growled. “Why didn’t you say so? Send two hundred employees then! I want their heads intact though, I think they’d look good mounted on the wall in my office… I have a guy who can do that for me you know.”

“I know you do sir. You made me dust the ones in your office last Tuesday sir. But sir…”

“Yes…” hissed the store owner. “What now?”

“We don’t even have two hundred employees left remember? These people have killed most of them throughout the course of the day.”

“Oh… Well how many do we have left?”

“Not very many sir… Less than thirty I believe.”



End of Act 68

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The Pony Buddy
The Pony Buddy

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PostSubject: Re: An MB Horror Story 2: Second Shift   Fri Jan 22, 2010 6:36 pm


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