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 A Sarcastic Zookeeper Review

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Cajun Canine
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PostSubject: A Sarcastic Zookeeper Review   Thu Sep 08, 2011 7:15 pm


Welcome to [s]Jurassic Park[/s] [s]Hell [/s]the Zoo.
Guys, this movie was amazing. I never knew Kevin James was such a bankable lead. He's perfect at running, driving, and dropping into things for an hour and a half. He's also great at sitting on things and hilarity ensuing because you know he's fat and things struggle to carry his weight or break. I laughed my butt off each time he bashed his head into something.

I loved how they were smart enough to tap so much talent for this film and give them nothing to do so that Kevin James gets more time to shine. I'm also glad they concretely established that his zookeeper was a lovable loser by making everyone else at the zoo angry people who hate their jobs, thus making him look better in comparison. I can totally feel for him as he runs around demanding chicks to fetch him food at a party and pours his heart out to the jungle critters determined to help him get some.


I can get paid millions to fall on my $$$ for an hour and a half? No way!

Each animal also had their own moment to shine and stood out as really interesting individuals. I really liked that too. For example the little monkey screams constantly about how his thumbs are awesome and how the zookeeper should fling poo at everyone. The gorilla also slow dances with a chick at T.G.I. Fridays and buys them dinner in a touching scene, he's just a big softie angry at the world for living life in a boring enclosure. The lion was a lovable pussycat who sleeps all day and argues with his wife, perhaps representing domestic disputes, adding a further deep meaning to the beauty of this film.

Whoever designed the action sequence where he zooms around on a tricycle for ten minutes as someone whips him in the $$$ with a little flag also deserves recognition for their contribution to the film industry, it was funny because he was big and fat and the tricycle wasn't his size.


Oh silly man-cub, it is time to teach you how to pee most triumphantly like a man.
The emotional resonance that echoed throughout the picture as he symbolically urinated on an innocent wolf in front of the girl who secretly crushes on him also struck a particular chord with me.

The entire picture had this hypnotizing magnetic pull to it that had me daydreaming about Transformers. This makes the movie even more special because it was like watching two movies at once for the price of one! It held my attention so well that I could think about other movies while at the same time sit glued to my seat wide eyed and captivated by this powerful romantic comedy. This means more movie for my money!

Following animal courtship rituals leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.
That chick he liked was hot, I totally see why he had the hots for her. She was hot, you know. It was entirely selfish of the man to pursue his happiness by doing what he does best, shoveling elephant crap and riding around on a golf cart. His hesitance to change who he was to please a woman had me fear he'd never kiss the girl. Screw the chick who always liked him for who he was, loved him and encouraged him to follow his dreams.

They need to cast Kevin James in more movies like this. If he gets overlooked for his award worthy performance in this film I'll go mad. He really really went all out with this movie. Be sure to stay through the credits for animals singing along to More Than a Feeling by Boston through the magic of special effects.

A-

(F)


In Summary: Overly long and boring and despite Kevin James's immense likability as an actor, the film flounders about due to the extremely lousy screenplay and a complete lack of laughs. Worst film of 2011 so far.

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PostSubject: Re: A Sarcastic Zookeeper Review   Sat Sep 10, 2011 7:04 am

This movie sounds so awesome I'll have to go watch it!!
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PostSubject: Re: A Sarcastic Zookeeper Review   Tue Sep 13, 2011 1:36 pm

xD Oh no some pictures didn't show up, I'll have to edit them back in later. :U

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PostSubject: Re: A Sarcastic Zookeeper Review   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:32 pm

My brother saw this with my dad. My brother liked it, but he's seven, so I guess that's excusable. My dad fell asleep. OMG

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PostSubject: Re: A Sarcastic Zookeeper Review   Sun Sep 25, 2011 11:37 am

My mom wanted to see this at our dollar theater instead of lion king =c XDD

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PostSubject: Re: A Sarcastic Zookeeper Review   Sun Sep 25, 2011 5:19 pm

What is wrong with your mother? Did your making her watch Twilight inhibit her mental capacities? You did what?

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