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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:24 am

Indeed XD Hahah yeah far from simple and easy XPP .........even harder is actually waiting around until I am certain that it is how I want it.

Yay for mutual happiness!

I am glad they are win |D

indeed =U
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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Sun Sep 11, 2011 11:53 am

Chapter Seven

Thirteen-Thirteen rolled over, pulling himself closer to Thirteen-Twelve as the nauseating familiarity returned. The main door was opening, it’s buzzing grumble like an alarm to all the Shapeshifters. Just like every other time, a sudden clash of hope and despair rippled through the entire room with sharp inclines and declines accordingly. He wished it would stop. Everything. It made his pulse race every time. And then there were the desperate Shapeshifters who would charge the door when opened even though the result was the same every time. It had an almost thwack sound to it amidst the electricity. Some kind of stick. The officers didn’t hesitate to use them on the poor Shapeshifters either.

This had gone on for hours. Or at least he thought it had been hours. There was nothing to do and not even a window to look outside through. Sleeping was next to impossible with all the disruptions. Frowning Thirteen-Thirteen walked in a small circle, staring at the glowing tips of his feet. It never had gotten any warmer since their arrival. Probably because of all the coolers—noisy things at the very top, if he was hearing right. When the Shapeshifters quieted down the coolers could be heard shoving out unwanted air. It has a dusty smell to it as if the thing hadn’t been used in a long time.

Ever since talking to the other Shapeshifters, his own siblings hadn’t wanted to play or even talk. They sat in their own corner much like the others, huddled up and staring off distantly—everyone aside from Thirteen-Twelve anyway. But even he didn’t seem to want to play right now. Thirteen-Thirteen walked in another small circle before flopping himself down. Thirteen-Twelve made no comment about it.

Thirteen-Thirteen glanced over at the other Shapeshifters. Some of them had their eyes closed, although they didn’t look to be at peace with anything—more like barely keeping from hyperventilating. Their cell had Shapeshifters close in age to his siblings, but he had seen others of just about every age group imaginable come through. They all shared the same frame of mind. He guessed that’s what the officers had meant earlier—that these zetraloids weren’t very happy. But why? What was a Shapeshifter recall anyway?

His helmet fins perked up. This was new. Instead of bringing more down the officers were taking some out. One of the Shapeshifters was frantic though. It had even managed to knock one of the officers down. The others caught it fast enough and took better care to keep it from doing something like that again with yet another mean looking little tool. The Shapeshifter crumpled to the cement flooring almost instantly. Thirteen-Thirteen frowned as he watched the officers drag it out. Dumb Shapeshifter recall. Did their dad know they had been taken here? Maybe he was here too. It’d be awful hard to find him.





As time went on, the process repeated again and again. It hadn’t been just hours anymore. Days. Someone had told him that his family had turned up three days ago. Others had been there longer. They must have been miserable with nowhere to run. He certainly was.

The cell next to their own opened. The officers had been coming in far more frequently the past couple days, but the zetraloids in the cells no longer wanted to go with them. Instead of the usual chaos when the door would open, everyone would become instantly silent, sitting at the backs of the cells—anything to blend in. He’d heard some of the Shapeshifters from other cells telling each other stories about what happened to those who left. Bad stories. Stories about dying. About it being their last few days and how they might as well enjoy it.

Some of them had lost their pacifist mind frame entirely and had begun fighting. Just earlier that morning one of the Shapeshifters had nearly killed another. Even Thirteen-Thirteen knew that was wrong—Shapeshifters were peacekeepers!

“Niney…I wanna go home…”

“I know…”

“Now why would you want something like that?”

Thirteen-Thirteen’s helmet fins twitched as he turned to find the voice’s owner.

“I thought you of all zetras would enjoy a trip to the Federation.”The officer at the door smiled lightly as he looked away.

Thirteen-Thirteen attempted to look around him. As far as he could tell no other officers had followed. He hesitated before his curiosity won. Focusing on the crackly noise of electricity to keep from running, he inched his way over, stopping a few inches before the door—the easiest place to see through without touching the electricity pulsing across the front.

The officer was dressed in a well ironed blue uniform. He glanced both ways, an evident smirk on his face as he leaned closer, barely keeping far enough away not to get zapped himself.

“Hey.” He said simply then stood straight again, looking the opposite way with his hands behind his back. He half watched as additional officers arrived and begun dragging the Shapeshifters out of the cell next to Thirteen-Thirteen’s. “Enjoy your day, ’Shifter.”

Thirteen-Thirteen frowned as the officer glanced back at him. The confidence glimmering in the other’s eyes was almost unnerving. He was enjoying this. Thirteen-Thirteen’s mind raced, sifting through recent memories and trying to find a match for this familiar face. He settled at last into the windy day he and Thirteen-Twelve had attempted to take the duffel bag from a group of officers. Thirteen-Thirteen’s helmet fins perked up.

The officer’s smirk coiled as he nodded and then turned to join the others.

----

A little bit of info stuff
Howdy y'all and here is our next installation into the Faint Deception short story. Did you know it was only supposed to be 20 chapters at first? For that matter did you know my first story was only 12 chapters? o_o Anyway!

This is just a short transition chapter so to speak. Acts as a kind of medium grounds leveling off the happenings of the previous one and giving us a more mellow moment before we spike back up again. You like that definition? I like to call it artistic writing. That aside there's a familiar face in here if you're good at remembering subtle details. If you're not its a ref and actually a fulfilled threat of chapter one.




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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Mon Sep 12, 2011 4:38 am

Seven seven seven.

Wow. =O Such details. Very Happy I sure say poor Edge a lot. o.0 Poor Edge. >_> How discouraging watching others fail at one of the only possible ways to achieve a good outcome. Wow and can't even sleep, such great conditions for these shifters. =U The feds are stupid. I don't know if it's good or bad that his sibs are....ignoring him. =. They don't want to raise his hopes for no reason obviously...but as a kid his hopes kind of need to be raised. =P he needs to be comforted. o.o

NOT TAKING THEM OUT ALREADY!! D= Oh gosh. =U Devious little tools. >=( Nice job with the Edge wondering details. o.o Adds atmosphere. xD Yeah yeah we all know the shifters aren't being set free when they leave. =U Enjoy your cold cramped days of horror and no sleep guys! =D Officer is ENJOYING this?! What a sick....freak. =U See it's zetras like him that make the feds run the way they do because if EVERYONE realized that this was a huge no-no, majority vote or a forced veto or something. Last day heeeeere. o.o NICE with the memory. Very Happy And the subtle actions of Edge and the officer yet they explain much. An act of revenge, what a jerk. =U

"That aside there's a familiar face in here if you're good at remembering subtle details. If you're not its a ref and actually a fulfilled threat of chapter one." Hmmmm do you speak of the officer with the duffel bag?

Nice job with the sort of transition chapter. Very Happy Unique idea and it seems to be working well. =. I enjoyed it greatly anyway. xD Thank you for posting. =D

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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Mon Sep 12, 2011 10:27 am

You say poor whichever character I have around a lot cuz I am not NICE. Yes =U Much failkure. SPELLED RIGHT. And boredom according to 1313.

Family: *Wants to raise hopes* Devious Rage ........I kid.

Did someone say devious? Devious Rage ahem >_>


Haha c: yep! It took me a few tries to get that worked out between the officer and Edge. I mean...for me lol. Not that THEY got anything worked out XD But yeah, Tekar was his name if you recall and probably don't lol.

And yes tekar can be considered a sick freak |D He's no nicer in the next chapter lol.

Thanks for reading C:

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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Fri Oct 07, 2011 1:40 pm

Chapter Eight

Just like the other Shapeshifters, Thirteen-Thirteen and his family had been moved out of the main holding room. Things had gone a lot smoother for the travel of their family than some of the less obedient Shapeshifters. Now they stood amidst a whole gathering of junior and senior officers.

“As Shapeshifter recalls under recent protocol Five-Five-Three, you have the following rights in turn. The right of free speech, the right to—” The officer glanced up from his paper no doubt read over many times today. “Do we really need to go through this? I mean they basically have no rights and are here to be terminated.”

“Jerk!” Thirteen-Ten exclaimed, taking a step forward before the one the question was addressed to could even answer, “We’re zetraloids too! You can spare a few minutes of your stupid time to read over a—”

Thirteen-Nine put her hand on his shoulder and shook her head softly. Thirteen-Ten frowned but gradually sighed, shaking his head likewise.

Officer Tekar glanced up from his paper again at the procession, mouth still open as if they had stopped him mid sentence. He closed it after awhile and shook his head.

“Fine.” He straightened himself to full height, taking particular care to make himself look quite important. “You are here by order of our governing law to be terminated. Now get moving.”

Thirteen-Ten gave the others a glare and crossed his arms. Thirteen-Nine was idly playing with the braid in her purple and white hair while Thirteen-Thirteen hid behind her, clinging to her leg.

“We’re getting good at this.” Another officer offered rather cheerfully as he ran a scanner over Thirteen-Ten, “Should be pretty quick.” His helmet fins twitched as he seemed to have noticed his error. “Sorry.”

One of the many officers standing by rolled his eyes. “Yeah…at first things weren’t working so well. Heat was too low. Took too long—quite a bit of screaming then.” He snorted. “Older ones were trying to comfort the younger ones. Yeah, lots of screaming.”

A younger zetraloid with no apparent uniform glanced up at the officer with a frown then returned to writing down notes with a shake of his silver and black head.

“Yeah.” Another agreed, “Was hard watching some of the younger ones…”

“Sirs, honestly, where is your tact?” One of the senior officers stepped forward. “Show a little sympathy, why don’t you.”

The younger zetraloid with the clipboard beside them shook his head again as if there were something irritating it. He blinked several times, rubbed at the little gold insignia on his helmet and then picked up his pencil with a shaky hand.

“It’s been a long day.” Tekar scoffed, “What’s it matter? They’re gonna die anyway.”

“So? That doesn’t mean—” He paused for a moment, watching the zetraloid with the clipboard sway from one side to the other ever so slightly. “Blend, you okay?”

He received a simple, quick nod in reply, prompting him to return to the topic at hand.

“Anyway, it doesn’t mean that—” A thump interrupted him.

He glanced over at the officers to his left, particularly the one holding the scanner. The zetraloid simply shrugged as he gazed down at the younger one now unconscious in front of him.

The senior officer turned away, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration as he sighed.

“Blend is down. Someone do something with him. Tekar, just finish processing the ‘Shifters.”

The officers once again resumed action. Thirteen-Ten pulled his scarf off at the command of an officer—one who’d insisted they wanted minimum junk inside the machine as it’d already been clogged numerous times. Thirteen-Thirteen frowned as he followed beside Thirteen-Nine.

The scanner zetraloid gave a quick salute. “Thirteen-Nine. Thirteen-Ten, Thirteen-Eleven, Thirteen-Twelve, Thirteen-Thirteen, I am sorry we never got properly acquainted. I’m sure you all would have made fine additions to our ranks.”

Thirteen-Nine gave a small smile and nodded. The others, silent and serious, watched around themselves. Their gazes were distracted and unfocused. Thirteen-Thirteen tightened his grip. Although he didn’t understand what was happening, the emotions of the others were plenty enough to send him into panic.

Once again they were ushered along. The officers stepped aside to create a pathway for them. It wasn’t a long walk, just that of an average room then they were standing in front of a strange door. From somewhere beyond it emitted a deep, almost grumbling whoosh similar to that of blazing fire, and on occasion the door would creak as if under stress. Its deep-black, cast-iron front gave no indication of what lie in wait however. The zetraloid in front of it was a fire Elemental which did a great deal of explaining why he didn’t seem to mind the uncomfortably warm heat radiating around them.

“More already?”

“Just open the door.”

The Elemental shrugged and grabbed a hold of a long pole. He wedged it through the handle and then pushed towards the door. A hiss escaped as it cracked open.

Thirteen-Thirteen’s helmet fins twitched. Was this the room the other Shapeshifters had mentioned? A room of fire they said. With some kind of grated floor that was so hot it could melt your feet. Thirteen-Thirteen tugged on his sister’s leg with a frown. She turned, resting her gentle violet gaze on him.

“Be brave.” She whispered, “Always be brave.”

Thirteen-Thirteen frowned again. What did that solve?

“Alright ’Shifters, time to go.”

The fire Elemental grabbed Thirteen-Nine by her arm and flung her in. Likewise he grabbed Thirteen-Thirteen and did the same. If he’d done so to the others Thirteen-Thirteen wouldn’t have known. He’d barely seen the red glow before disappearing into a haze of white.

He yelped as he hit the floor with a clank. Another long hiss. Thirteen-Thirteen breathed in only to find scorching heat tearing at his throat. He coughed and stumbled forward in the glowing blaze, body burning and aching. Blistering burns had begun to dissolve the thin metal cover of his feet into a melting mass. He cried out as he fell forward, the intense heat engulfing all around him as he writhed futilely against the burn.

Again he attempted to stand; the wiring of his feet was melting together, stringing from the remains of his feet and becoming trapped—permanently connected to the boiling floor below him. A sharp sting shot up his leg as the wiring tore free from its place. He struggled to breathe in again, claws of flames raking their jagged nails along his throat.

He fell forward, catching himself from landing face first with his hands. The floor beneath him was changing in color, deep hues of red, orange and brilliant pink. Small spatters of plasma fell from his chin and dissipated instantly on its surface. With a whine he tried pulling his hands free.

Trapped. There was no escape. No break from the simmering heat that was boiling his shapeshifting plates. With a weak cry he collapsed to the floor again and felt his fingers begin to conform to its shape with a sickening sizzle. Plasma streamed from wounds and gaping holes that had begun to appear all over. It no later bubbled and dissipated.

He gasped and nearly choked on the plasma curdling in his throat. His vision cut out for a moment, returning in shades of red.

“Niney…” He gurgled, “Nine….y.”

He reached out with one hand, dripping a mixture that he couldn’t even think to identify. He set his gaze forward into the flickering hues of red, distracted only by the occasional flaming towers that shot up from the flooring with a deafening roar. At last Thirteen-Nine appeared in the haze; just what he could presume was her purple glow, showing more as a dark shade of red.

We’ll always love you. A bright light flashed before him. An energy field. It was a rather pitiful attempt, not even entirely encasing him. Be brave.

He heard a thud amidst the hissing steam. Flaring shades of red…pain numbing into a consistent tingle. Was he alive? Sound faded out, his vision faded and left him only acutely aware of his boiling throat and choking. He couldn’t move, and yet the deep aching within, like elastic pulled tight to the verge of breaking, taunted his nerve-like circuits. Left without a hope. Without escape. Without relief. Alone. Then it snapped, and with it, the last chance of seeing his siblings again.





Khatek watched over the progress, reading the gauge level.

“The gauges are rising.” He grumbled, “This piece of scrap is overheating again!”

“I told you it would.” The Elemental gave his superior an incredulous stare.

“Shut it off.” He paced. “Piece of shrapnel should be able to melt more than one ’Shifter at a time.”

“Not after the jam.” The Elemental lowered the knobs on the power panel. “I told you it’d be more susceptible to overheating. One ’Shifter at a time or risk—”

“Can it. I don’t want to be here for weeks on end.” He lifted two fingers, resting them in front of his mouth as he waited. “Start the cooling process.”

“Overheating the system.” The Elemental muttered, “I’m telling you.”

“I don’t wanna be picking Shapeshifter out of the grate all day! They want their machine ‘unstressed’? Build a better one!”

The officer knelt down, rubbing his temples. It was an overwhelming amount of work to manage this operation, especially after the machine had broken down. They’d fallen way behind schedule since the thing could only handle one Shapeshifter without overheating itself. It’d have been faster to shoot all the darn things if it hadn’t been for the humans and their ideas of good money management. The machine had never been intended for such large numbers at one time or consistency.

Somewhat absent mindedly he grasped a red scarf and held it up. As long as the Shifters were dead, how melted shouldn’t matter—at least he hoped it didn’t.

“Sir? Everything alright?” Blend stood beside him. He had recovered from earlier although was still a bit shaken; his hands remained limp at his sides.

Khatek blinked then stood, shoving the scarf towards Blend.

“Just fine.” Obviously realizing he should elaborate he continued, “They were Naraku’s kids. See if he wants this.”

The younger zetraloid took it with fumbling hands and nodded as he hurried. It wasn’t hard to find Naraku. The zetraloid was leaned against a wall, hands in uniform pockets and head tucked down. Blend waited a few moments at his side, running the scarf through his hands until Naraku looked up.

“Umm… Khatek wanted to know if you wanted this.” He shook his head to try and encourage his senses to return faster. “It’s…um…from..uh…”

“Thirteen-Ten.” Naraku snatched it from Blend and rubbed the material between his fingers for a brief moment as he stared forward.

He shook his head once then shoved Blend down as he walked by, clutching the scarf in one hand. He walked along the same empty halls he was familiar with, each foot step echoing. Head down, he navigated past the few clusters of officers, simply forcing his way past anyone stupid enough not to move. His pace slowed as he neared the recall termination checkpoint. The others were just leaving, the last pausing to nod at him.

“Sorry, Naraku.”

“My loyalty lies with the Federation.” Naraku mumbled in reply.

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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Sun Oct 09, 2011 2:39 am

CHAPTER. Will my suspensism finally be calmed?! We shall see! @_@

His whole family was moved? =O FIGHT guys fight. D= You can take these officers, they're used to offices and paperwork, just look at Blyck as an example. >_> xD Meh I just want you guys to win. =( Wow, really officer? Not even enough respect for the dead to read over their rights? See this is why the Feds anger me so much. xD I understand how they would want to follow protocol and stuff, which is STUPID that they created it in the first place with no plan B that is apparent AND certainly no humane method. =U And if they consider live melting to be humane then I fear for stray animals in Zetriland. o.o But anyway what really pushes me over the edge is how none of the officers seem to have any sort of...conscience, or feelings, or compassion. None involved in this operation anyway. I would expect at least somebody to break out of the drone life of an officer but they continue to disappoint. =( Then we have peolpe like THIS officer who aren't even doing something that I presume is REQUIRED prior to the death of these guys. =U Or the one who was enjoying the stuff happening to the shifters. You have major skill making some characters dislikable. =P I suppose if everyone was compassionate and stuff it would be boring and I would have no emotion changes while reading yes? Hmmm dat no sound fun. o.o Maybe I'll stop complaining. =D xDD

Thirteen Ten had every right to call him a worse name than jerk. =U

Wow, other officer sees the procedure as mere routine. @_@ How would they like to be melted huh? GOSH. I see they value life a lot, if it were humans it would be a tad different because they are dumb and do not realize how human zetras really are, btu a fellow zetra? Murder. >_> Oh wow then other officer needs to explain of the horrors that happened before. Comforting the younger ones, like what, you're not going to die? It's not going to hurt much longer? LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE got Brad all maddish at these officers. xD Bravo. =D I am rather difficult to anger. =P

“Sirs, honestly, where is your tact?” One of the senior officers stepped forward. “Show a little sympathy, why don’t you.” <--- About time. >=U BLYCK you youngin' why don't you end the operation? A promotion is not worth so many zetra lives!! Wow DEADNESS aka unconsciousness. =. You mean someone here has emotion who ISN'T going to die? Wow. xD

Yeah salute them, it means nothing if it's simply a routine there scanner zetra. Thirteen Nine don't have a gentle prettyful gaze and kind words. D= Gonna make Brad sad and we cannot have this. I know you showed me some of the descriptions here already, and at the time I found them to be frighteningly real. Now with the buildup of reading the material leading to this moment, it feels all the more real. =. In other words I don't know how you could so accurately describe those feelings without having melted yourself. =U

=\ Alright, I almost feel embarrassed being such a baby about this in a *gasp* public forum. @_@
"He heard a thud amidst the hissing steam. Flaring shades of red…pain numbing into a consistent tingle. Was he alive? Sound faded out, his vision faded and left him only acutely aware of his boiling throat and choking. He couldn’t move, and yet the deep aching within, like elastic pulled tight to the verge of breaking, taunted his nerve-like circuits. Left without a hope. Without escape. Without relief. Alone. Then it snapped, and with it, the last chance of seeing his siblings again." <--- That, that is simply amazing. xD I mean not only what it describes, but the desription itself, the placement and the word use. Everything comes together into a brilliantly in sync paragraph. I mean it too. =. That is a rather beautiful use of everything that you did, quite amazing.

Stupid machine. =U Shouldn't melt anything. Grow a troll face and punch officers with your cast iron door before running to REAL authorities. Wow, he knew they were Naraku's kids and he's still a heartless punk? Offering the scarf, wow such a good person he is. =U NARAKU. =. I pity him, I really do. Loyalty to something like the Federation should take back burner on true important things. Nobody will judge you if you go on a rampage Naraku. =D xDD I poke fun at him because the scene is rather SADDENING. Someone like Naraku, while on the outside you can sense he is unphased, inside....ohhh boy. Inside is a whole different story. Not adding what he truly is thinking really adds to this scene I think. =P Let the reader's imagination run wild. =P

This chapter, was very, very powerful. xD I do believe that word describes it very well considering how much it was able to provoke my mood. =O Now that's good writing, often during sad movies and sad video games and stuff I will just praise the media for doing a good job with what they were trying to do. But here? How can I simply praise it when I forget I am not witnessing everything first hand? I feel truly gifted to have the opportunity to take part in reading your stories and I thank you oh so much for posting them for me (and everyone who reads them. xD) to enjoy. =)

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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Sun Oct 09, 2011 10:15 am

..........possibly. Although likely replaced by D: ativity.

Just look at Blyck XD You're bad Brad. They're not ALL used to paperwork XPP I'm sure some would be horrified. Hey now, they're not dead yet =| XD So maybe they have respect for the dead, just not the soon to be dead =D
The humans did the planning =U the Feds did the organizing. C| Feds often aren't very thrilled to be carrying out the work of da humans when da humans be being rude. LOL YES, I fear for them too =U ........actually the melty thingy is totally their normal way of EXECUTION >=] ..........of violent zetri individuals. Dun worry, they care greatly for stray animals =] Feds:.......... =U *toss them in too* ...........I take it back o_o

Sir, you do realize who It's Tekar, yes? The one who's being an epic jerk? He's the one who was talking to Edge last chapter I think, and the one from chapter one. He hates the Shapeshifters so naturally he doesn't feel bad. Brad: *rages over federation politics*

And yeaaah it is required. Tekar's bad though XD

Hahahahahaha XDDD NIIICE Brad. If everyone was compassionate you'd probably be laughing at thr unbelieveableness of it all. But yes c: I make some unlikeable XD

Brad wants to up the rating of this book =U "Language" Zetri, its time for you guys to learn some swears in your extinct language. .........lulz I should so do that c: then they can be like idsfhsdkj and the other can be like >=. DUN YOU idsfhsdkj at me!! XD! I almost hit post the comment, right after that and hadn't even read the rest of yours yet.

Well other officers have been stuck in this process for awhile =U I imagine they're kinda growing numb to it either by choice of not liking to have to associate them as equal creatures to themselves or ya know, the more jerk aspect, just the repetition of it. Lololol humans are dumb yes XDD

On news: Brad attacked the Federation base in rage at a fictional story. Because clearly the federation base is real =]

DEADNESS XDDD Haha, wow Brad. Youngin' Blyck..............failed to stay upright =] XD

A GENTLE PRETTIFUL GAZE XD Description win =P

WHO SAYS I HAVEN'T O_O Teh heh XD It's all a matter of deep searching through memories c: and amping them up. Fears, etc. I've always been afraid of being trapped in a room of fire basically with no escape and no means of relief, and it not being instant sooo C|

Why thank you good sir, this chapter took SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO long to get right. Hugely long to get it right. Not sure how long but those descriptions, pacing and all that did take awhile. So I'm glad it worked.

........ *pictures machine doing that* Oh mai XDDDD Khatek wasn't a jerk =P He was the one who told them to show a bit of sympathy XD Tekar is the jerk. =U Naraku was a zetra brought to existence for the sole purpose of the Federation, so in all their rightful logic, the kids, wouldn't er shouldn't be his first priority as wrong as it sounds @_@ CUZ MORALLY IT IS=D You shall see that more next chapter. I think.

All the other officers: *judge Naraku*

Naraku: =|

And thanks Very Happy Yep, sometimes leaving it to the reader's imagination does the job just fine c:

C: You are gonna turn Mega10 into a proud person one of these days with your epic compliments XD Thaaaanks sooooo much though. This was really hard to write, so its nice to know you liked it--I liked how it turned out personally. But writing it was a literal pain haha XD Considering I have to bring up old memories and fears to mind. Fears are pretty present though >_> Every time I open our wood burning stove and stare into its blazing violence and feel its scorching heat against my face my mind goes to "And what if I was trapped in that......behind the bolted door." XD


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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Fri Oct 28, 2011 9:31 pm

Chapter Nine

The other officers would return later to clean up this mess. That or perhaps they would send in a new crew if they had the numbers at the moment. The huge room had shrunk significantly from the buildup of partially melted bodies; the cooled remains of the Shapeshifter race. Their plasma crusted forms filled the air with a stench of melted rubber and heated metal. All around him were piles of melted, disfigured bodies. No colorful Shapeshifter glow. Lifeless masses. His race. His kids.

Why the government had chosen melting as the Shapeshifters’ designated method of fate was beyond him; there seemed to be many less painful options. As was typical however, funding seemed to be the primary issue and this was apparently cheaper than any other definite death method.

Naraku glanced at the scarf he held before looking away in disgust. Again he stared at the identical bodies littering the floor, warm plasma pooling from those not so thoroughly melted.

His head tilted down as he stood in silence. No life radiated from the room. Just a void. His horn-like helmet fins slowly drooped. Turning, he headed away, pausing at the door one last time. It wasn’t long. He shook his head and rounded again, stopping before the first pile. He took a deep breath then kneeled down, pulling the first aside. He knew he had to.

The first pile yielded no results. Rising again, he journeyed to another heap and set about digging through it. At last he pulled his hand back. His expression faltered to the slightest of degrees as he slowly placed his hand on the helmet again, running his finger around the rim.

“Thirteen-Nine.” He shoved the other off to see the full extent of damage that had been done. He shook his head at the mess. Thirteen-Ten was right beside her, melted just as much. Thirteen-Twelve and Thirteen-Eleven weren’t much farther, merged into a somewhat unrecognizable clump—they’d probably been trying to cling to each other. Naraku shook his head again. He was an officer. This shouldn’t bother him. Sighing, he rested his arms over the deformed mess and stared off absently for a moment.

He shook it off shortly after and proceeded in his search. His being here wasn’t against their ruling, although most would probably question his motives given the circumstances. They weren’t ones he wished to share with anyone anyway which was mostly why he had waited so many hours in between before making a return. Again he worked at the slow progress of trying to tell dead Shapeshifters apart. The average zetraloid would’ve been lost in such a daunting task—even he was having trouble, oft wondering if he were overlooking them entirely. Perhaps he hadn’t spent as much time around his kids as he should’ve. Or perhaps it was the opposite of that—maybe he’d spent too much time around them. He shouldn’t care that they were dead after all. His loyalty was sworn to the Federation, not a herd of glowing, future soldiers.

He shoved aside some kind of unidentifiable mass, revealing a smaller body that was twisted and contorted by the melt process. Thirteen-Thirteen. The last time Naraku had seen the youngest he’d been so unknowingly oblivious to what lied in wait. He rested his hand on the zetraloid as he’d done with the others. A faint gray trail of dimmed light caught between his own hand and the other. Helmet fins rising, Naraku placed his hand near the other again. Another faint glimpse of grayed light.

Naraku glanced at his hand, rubbing his fingers together for a moment. Nothing happened, which was as he expected considering he was wearing white gloves. He leaned back, propping himself up with one arm as he stared at it for a few moments. Eventually he leaned forward again, removing his glove as he did so. There was only one way to know for sure.

Creating a small space amongst the others, Naraku pried the zetraloid out. Although melted, Thirteen-Thirteen’s injuries didn’t appear as extensive at a surface glance. Naraku placed one hand on him again. A faint, ice-blue glow emitted from his own hand and gradually was met by the faded gray haze of the other. So he was alive—to some extent anyway. There was no way the kid could live on his own though—that much was certain.

Naraku unraveled the scarf he’d wrapped around his arm, still casting glances around to check for anyone watching particularly close. The video cameras hadn’t been installed in this room yet, so that wouldn’t be a problem and it was late at night so most of the other Federation officers were either guarding the outside entrances, sleeping, or working late in their individual offices. None of those would possess a great threat or amount of question for him. Being a senior officer, it was perfectly legitimate for him to be wandering about at such an hour—he already had a reputation of doing so lately anyway.

Naraku wrapped the scarf around Thirteen-Thirteen’s entire body, using the remainder to add a second layer as best he could. If he were to attempt saving this one, he’d have to abandon his investigation of the death conditions of the others—the cleanup crew would already be working on that by morning.

He walked back down the darkened hall, red scarf package at his side. At the moment it was completely empty and intensively cold. Night brought with it a certain sense of loneliness—distant loneliness of being cut off from the world. That was how some others had described it anyway. It was an eerie quiet regardless to how one viewed it.

Naraku’s footsteps echoed down the empty hall as he made his way along. The path was lit only by dim exit sign lights and the occasional deep yellow glow of low powered lights. The higher levels were bound to be more populated and his work area crew was most likely in the process of preparing packages for departure. He could already hear the distant rumble of jets motors; whether landing or taking off, he wasn’t sure.

He tapped at a couple doors along the hall until one opened. It was just a storage closet, but that probably meant it had exactly what he needed. There wasn’t much of a light that he could find so he had to settle for taking his glove off and using the whitish-blue glow of his hand to see. Just as he’d suspected, he was able to locate a box filled with reams of paper. He emptied it and stuffed the scarf and Thirteen-Thirteen inside before flopping the lid over it, pulling his glove back on and heading out. The less suspicious this was the better.

Naraku waited for the elevator to arrive. It wasn’t long before a soft beep announced its availability. He got inside, punched in the lobby floor and leaned back as he stared at the numbers it changed to. After a few creaks and clanks it arrived, doors parting to reveal the main lobby.

It was well lit in comparison to the rest, lights fully functional and screens on the walls displaying different information. A few even had local news stations. Currently it was live interviews about the Shapeshifter recall—not a huge surprise considering it had just been publically announced.

The main lobby had a greater sense of warmth circulated by the heaters that ever so faintly whirred from all directions. A single zetraloid sat at the curved central desk, leaning forward.

“Morning, officer Naraku.” She yawned, not glancing up from the book she was reading.

Naraku nodded, although he doubted she’d seen it.

There was more than one way to reach the Transportation Corps office, but the current quickest seemed to be exiting the main entrance and walking to the proper building rather than taking an elevator up, going across the joining bridgeway and then back down another elevator. Colder, yes, but quicker.

It was a brisk morning, icy and frigid. Most of the noise was at a low minimum. The distant jets, the low murmur of occasional voices and the clatter of the side gates—officers were probably bringing in stray Shapeshifters they’d uncovered. Naraku tightened his grip on the box and headed more swiftly towards the office.

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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Sun Oct 30, 2011 3:04 am

Chaaapter 9! Chaaaaapter 9! Woot woot. Hmmmm seems like less chapters than nine already. .0. OH WELL. Number of chapters isn't important. >=U xD Why am I doing another intro like this when I am so eager to read? Not sure, maybe because I don't want to abruptly start my comment or something, because ya know, surely that is a bad thing. I DUNNO. Time to read.

Wow. =U How emotional, Naraku looking over the remains of his family. 0.0 And his race I guess. =. See one minute you make me greatly dislike him, the next I pity him. xD This is nothing new but it still surprises me every time. DIGGING through wow. o.o

Ten: Brad how do you think Edge gets out?

I dunno. >_> Being forgetful sure helps moments like this one be more powerful, that's for sure. xD I really like your use of wording and how...quiet the scene is. =. Also the small details, running his hand along the rim of the helmet? How sad. He didn't spend enough time, come on Naraku, loyalty might be sworn to the Federation but you are allowed to show some family compassion...I think. >_> If not then the Federation was a stupid choice to join. Life from Edge! No joke, despite me knowing Edge lives, I got goosebumps reading this part. I was really happy for Naraku and Edge. 0.0 Shows how much expertise you have when writing your stories.

Wow no cameras yet? I'm surprised, I thought the Feds would get all the pleasure they could out of watching them melt. =U So there is a possibility one of the others would have lived? Or no? =) xD I like Naraku's traveling. =. Very serene and lonely. Interviews. =U Bet they aren't interviewing any shifters. Seriously this scene is done so well. =P Like almost through Naraku's point of view, without it being direct. It focuses much on his travel and, while it isn't a particularly interesting path, it's what isn't said that adds to it. =P What he's thinking, what his motives might be, what he had just been through. Amazing. My mind is aliiive! xD

Once again thank you for posting. Very Happy Very cool, very atmospheric and very...hmmmmmm other word. =U Sort of like touching or something.

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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Sun Oct 30, 2011 9:25 am

Lololol brad and his structured responses =U Lol ten certainly is a confusing one isn't she? C| with her making you like/dislike things. And HAHA......yes Edge clearly flies out c: and floats to Canorith =D XDD


Tssssh he never chose to join them >=U He's like the rest of teh younger shifters =P they were DESIGNED for insta joining of the Federation C| And I think caring about family etc all depends on who you ask in the Federation .0. XD most are generally cool with it though. Aside from the grouches =| and the guy swho seem to wanna make everyoneas miserable as them =U

Brad: Naraku! =D

XD

The pacing of this chapter was...interesting. Because its pretty easy to state what happens QUICKLY so I had to really kinda dawdle around in my own mind and see what sense I really wanted to portray in this. Sounds like I achieved it.

Might've! =D XD But unlikely =U Due to most of the factors C| Brad likes naraku's traveling, this amuses me. YES! Serene and lonely! Exactly what I meant=D

Wow =O Sounds like i did exactly what I meant to judging by your response in regards to this chapter. This pleases me =U XDD

Thanks! C:

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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Sun Oct 30, 2011 9:31 am

Also I forgot to mention that in the old version I don't think I mentioned HOW Edge got out, just that he had in essence. It went from melty melty to wake up at new place. This one I added a couple different perspectives in to explain what went on without simply...explaining it XD

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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Mon Nov 07, 2011 3:01 am

Chapter Ten
“You can’t very well keep him here, and even if you did, he wouldn’t survive. The injuries are too extensive.”

Naraku didn’t comment, rather staring at the wrapped up bundle with distant, glazed eyes. His hand idly ran over the material time and time again in an almost rythmatic manner. He had made it to the office without any trouble although his initial expression upon arrival must have given away more concern than he realized. Siltor had made up an excuse and had everyone else out within moments. Now the question of what to do was dangling over their heads.

“Naraku.”

“I know.” Naraku leaned back, sighing as he brought one hand to his forehead then leaned forward again. He shouldn’t have brought the kid back—he should’ve left him where he was to finish the process of dying. It wouldn’t have complicated everything then.

“Then?” Siltor prodded further as he set another box amongst a stack—the second batch of the morning.

Naraku shook his head. “Send him somewhere. Away. Then he has a chance.”

“Not on his own.”

Naraku was tired of going back and forth with the other officer. He couldn’t win. That was clear. He’d made so many wrong choices lately—one on top of the other—to the point he wasn’t even sure which could be deemed right anymore. His helmet fins sunk to the sides of his head as he gazed bleakly at the scuffed counter in front of him.

“Maybe a specialist….”

Siltor slid a directory that had been left open over to his friend, barely making eye contact as he did so. He set aside the packing tape he had been holding and casually glanced around. “Darryl Vogon; undesirable, but handles a lot of weapons orders.” Even lower he continued, “Find one of his colleagues. They’d be small, no-name businesses—probably your best chance of someone who would care.” He walked away again, back to packaging up a box.

Naraku glanced at him, the faintest hint of surprise edging his features. He shifted his attention to the directory, using his index finger to trail the page in search of names, addresses, anything quick and easy he could use. Something not too far; local enough to have Thirteen-Thirteen still alive by the time the package made the short trip there.

He wasted no time preparing an adequate container that would manage to hold Thirteen-Thirteen. A plastic tub as it turned out to be. It’d be a tight fit, but then again the young ’Shifter was unconscious and not likely to remember it if he made it.

“What about you?” Naraku asked.

“Me?” Siltor shook his head, pressing down a long strip of tape. “I really need to go see our medical department, this eye issue is just blinding.”

Naraku placed Thirteen-Thirteen in the tub. “How long do you think it’ll last?”

“I’m beginning to believe it to be chronic.”

Had Naraku been in any better mood he may have at least smiled at the comment, but he had no such feelings now. He glanced at the scarf for awhile before picking it up and looking to Thirteen-Thirteen whom he had already placed in the box. With a sigh, he tossed the red fabric in and closed the lid. Siltor handed him the packing tape as he walked by. Naraku secured the lid to the tub several times, making sure to prevent any kind of tip over tragedy. He was still looking for a pen when Siltor returned beside him and offered him one likewise.

“These early mornings are torturous.” Siltor stated conversationally as he returned to the mound of already gathering boxes that conveniently towered just enough to block the cameras, “Mind hurrying up? I could use some help with the rest of these.”

Naraku nodded, giving the container one last long gaze and then pushing it along down the counter to the others. Siltor’s question wasn’t so much a request for help as much as it was a reminder that the sooner all the packages were ready to go, the better a chance Thirteen-Thirteen had of surviving.

The rest of the packages didn’t take long—it was all the incoming packages that often took longest. The Federation sent out far fewer than it had to accept in and process. All the previous day’s were already sorted from last night thanks to a different shift of zetraloids.

A knock on the door managed to catch both his and Siltor’s attention. The latter glanced at the digital clock embedded in the wall.

“Early.” The white armored zetraloid commented before rounding the counter and unlocking the main door.

Outside stood an average sized zetraloid with black and silver armor. He blinked behind his green visor and smiled pleasantly.

“Blend? You’re up mighty early.”

“Yeah, uh, Kyir didn’t want to get up, so he sent me.”

“How thoughtful.” Siltor smiled despite the apparent sarcasm. “You’re not even from this department, are you?”

“No, Sir.”

“Well that’s Kyir for you.” Siltor nodded as he glanced off to the side. “Is the local transport docking yet?”

“Um…” Blend frowned and shifted somewhat as he glanced around. “Local transport…right um, what is local transport?”

“Ah, nevermind. Should be there by now.” He motioned for Blend to follow him inside.

The younger zetraloid did as instructed, and paused in the doorway.

“Naraku, this is Blend. He’s our fill in assistant today. Kyir’s slacking off again.”

Naraku nodded subtly. “I know him already.”

Blend watched the two curiously, but dared not speak or approach them. He barely knew the other zetraloids and felt incredibly clueless of what he was even here to do currently. He presumed they would let him know though.

Once the rest of the packages were ready they headed out, pushing the flat carts full of various boxed items. Siltor led the way down the still relatively darkened halls. Aside from the occasional squeak of wheels and the repetitive thump over joining trim in the halls, all was silent.

The various transports were already there. Both aircraft and package cars—they usually referred to those as trucks though. Aircrafts were for the cities beyond Seaside, the trucks were for those within.

“You’ve got the city’s.” Siltor informed Blend as he pushed his on further out towards where the distant transporter should be waiting, “Naraku, could you help him?”

Naraku nodded, wordlessly motioning to the truck they’d be meeting as he took the lead. Blend followed behind with no question in regards to what he was doing. The transporter was a human—an unusual sight amongst the Federation grounds but not unheard of. They didn’t bother to get out of the truck, although that was common human protocol it seemed.

Naraku stood aside and watched as Blend transferred item after item. Package after package, box after box.

“Sir?” Blend tilted his head to the side as he stared up at the taller zetraloid.

Naraku slowly glanced back at him.

“We’re done.”

Naraku’s helmet fins flicked. He nodded once as he gazed at the departing truck. “So we are.”

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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Wed Nov 16, 2011 1:49 am

Chaaaapter you! Chaaaaapter you. Okay done. =U

*gasp* Talking. =. Who is this being? Oh, Siltor. Nice. I didn't know he was trustworthy. Look at him, helping out his buddy by clearing out a room. Either Naraku finally has a friend or just knows someone who is really really unlikeable...besides himself. I like this conflict Naraku has. Very Happy Finally we see signs of morality....apparently last chapter doesn't count...nor does any of the story...okay I just approve of Naraku having a heart okay? >_> Gosh.

Ahhh Siltor, the subtle helper. On the outside he appears to not care at all. =D On the inside he's crying more than Naraku. Eye issue, blinding? I think you just inserted a reference that I missed completely. =U Aha! I was wondering about any sort of cameras in the room. Very Happy Nice job with that detail. =) I like how it wasn't introduced right away, leaving me to wonder until it was cleared up. =.

Ahhh good ol Blend, doing dirty work outside of his own...department. Kyir, there's a new name for me. =. Nice hall details. =O The little thump of joined trim? Nice. Dumb lazy humans. =U Probably scared of the superior and still for nowly named zetras. Interesting ending, such a simple conversation...yet it has deeper meaning. o.o The Edge has been LOADED. And Naraku knows this.

Once again a very enjoyable chapter. =P Even though there is no action, there is so much detail and emotion covering everything that one forgets fairly uneventful things are unfolding before them, because they are too enthralled in the subtle story advancements. Very Happy I approve greatly, stellar writing on your part. Thanks for posting and sorry for the late reply. >_<

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PostSubject: Re: Faint Deception    Wed Nov 16, 2011 10:55 am

Brad didn't know he was trustworthy @_@ XDDD Brad assumes all are enemy until they prove otherwise. HA XD Siltor's not a jerk like Naraku c: The Naraku's heart shrunk three sizes that day and he became the grinch. HA XD Brad fail =U he was essentially saying he saw nothing >3> AKA Your secret's safe with me I never saw you bring in YOUR KID |D Brad and his cameras c: Of course they have cameras =U Can't have them box people STEALING from those BOXES D: XD It would be detrimental ;-;

If people in charge happen to be watching the going ons or for whatever reason have to look it up they probably won't be happy that sklfdhsk GUYS >=C You put the boxes in front of the camera >=o

Then they can be like lol oops

and the other guy can be like Hmm

Yes the human is horrified of those currently named zetras =) XDD And yes The Edge is loaded C| XDD Now the human can drive like the pizza delivery guy on Toy Story =U

*nods* Ish all good |D D\'AWW

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