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BradHummr
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PostSubject: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Fri Aug 27, 2010 3:49 am

Heeeeeey everyone. xD I was testing out a new writing style and wrote a short story off of it. Posting it here in case anyone wants to read it. =P (P.S. Copy/pasting totally messed up my formatting. xD)

Have you ever heard anyone tell you they remember something well, because it was horrific, scarring, if you will? You know, most of those people, heh, they know what they're talking about. That being said, it shouldn't be any surprise to you that I remember that day quite well. How could I not? It was the day reality hit me.

You know that feeling when you were a kid. Playing with your toy cars, perhaps a doll. You looked forward to TV and new things to play with. Innocence and ignorance were peaceful then, nothing but things to look forward to. Amazing then, how fast things can...and will...change. Drastic too are they not?

When was I seven, or eight, I remember thinking about how I would drive an ice cream truck for a living. I planned on giving other children free ice cream. I didn't think about where my income would come from, but that isn't important. I say this because I believed that to be true until I was four or five years older, that was when I first thought reality had struck my senses. My schoolwork was teaching me many things about the world beyond my room, my things and my imagination. I thought I was ready, ready for anything.

You really can't prepare for disaster. You think you can, but the variables and deadly forces will always find a way to bring you down. I know things would have gone better if I had had more time. Time can be very beneficial, I doubt one would argue against that, especially in a time of crisis.

You say I'm stalling. Would you not stall too? Imagine yourself in a small room, life, if you will. Everything is dark and there are no doors or windows of opportunity. You feel no hunger nor pain, yet you will not exist for much longer. Would you want to spend your time recalling the worst moments of your life? When you read about someone dying, or hear, or see, unless they are closely related, a few moments of silence and mourning for the dead are all you give. Sometimes not even that. I will not judge you based on those actions, but I wish for you to try to see things from my position.

Of course you do not know me well, we have only just met. As you stare upon me though, think about what you will do when I am gone. Will I get a proper burial? Will my existence be acknowledged in any way? Will anyone shed a tear? I realize, like many who have fallen, that I too will be forgotten in only moments. Everyone wants to be something, to accomplish something, to be loved. Few reach these goals and end up truly happy. Why must all of their time alive be thrown away? I do not have a solution, nor will anyone find one before my end. Long after I am gone, even if someone will find a way to preserve every living being's actions, or knowledge of their existence. It will be too late for me.

I had dreams, hopes, even expectations out of life. I knew they were many years away, but they were heading my way in some form. I had blind faith that everything would be handed to me. Jobs, money, places to live, hell, even love. I was naive, there is no denying that. If you're here, your dreams too have been swept away, have they not? I take solace in those moments of my life, the ones with motivation, hope, light.....please, forgive my tears.

Can you not leave me here in peace? I've tried my best to stay calm, accept defeat and prepare for death. I do not wish to stir up those feelings again. What I have to say will save noone, nor is anyone archiving any of my words. Must I be tortured once again by the cruelty of life? I will if you request, but surely, I will only weep. Amazing isn't it, how memories can be the greatest and most dreadful things of life. You want to make them, you want to hide from them. Others, you just want to destroy.

I was fifteen. Too young, I was not ready for any of the challenges I would face. I remember, I was playing a video game when I heard the noise. It was my mother and father, they were talking very quickly and I could hear their footsteps echoing in the house. Something was wrong. I remember I dismissed it as unimportant, I thought they would call me if they wanted. Almost an hour passed. If only I had savored that time, it would be my last. Paradise didn't last forever, I knew that, I just didn't expect it to end so soon. Who would?

I remember growing anxious, wondering what was so wrong. Had I known, I probably would have stayed in my room, basking in denial until its final moments. I wandered into the main room, the room my parents had been in. The television was on, I watched it for a moment. I remember the video, it was of a man, face down, people were swarming around him. He was clearly dead. There was a great panic and the film crew was barely keeping the scene together.

My father rushed in front of me and turned off the television. I remember speaking to him, trying to figure out what was wrong. He only turned me away and instructed me to pack my suitcase with whatever I truly wanted. I didn't question his orders, but I did question his words. I understand them now, I only wish at the time, my father had given reason behind them. Perhaps though, it was for my own good. Now, I am glad I brought many essentials, rather than things with sentimental value. A lot of good they would have done me.

My parents rushed me, my brother and my sister into our vehicle. My father started driving before anyone had positioned their belongings or gotten buckled. This was unusual at the time, never before had they sacrificed our safety in such a manner. I didn't know what to think at the time. I knew something was truly wrong, but we were all alive and well. There was no sign of danger anywhere. My ignorance was painful. I wished to know, but I knew I would regret it. I asked, getting no reply. My parents whispered amongst themselves and I heard only small portions of the conversation.

My father was driving very quickly. I noticed around us, there were also many other vehicles moving at rapid speeds. Is there any doubt why? I remember my father brushed against several vehicles that drive. His lack of driving etiquette had surprised me greatly at the time. The only thing especially odd that stood out for me, besides my father's driving of course, was the men in uniform. After a great distance, they began to appear by the road, directing traffic.

We were funneled near a bunch of helicopters. There were troops surrounding them with powerful weapons. Beyond the troops, I caught glimpses of dead people. I remember, for a moment, I feared death. I thought my family would be shot by these troops. I never had a reason why, perhaps a lack of true information. We we parked shortly after, followed by being hit at the rear from another vehicle.

A man in a uniform directed my father and my brother to a helicopter, while my mother, my sister and I were directed to another. It was very hard to hear, the roar of at least ten helicopters was blasting my ears, even over them, I could hear gunshots. My father had protested, he got an angry look from the man and he directed us to a helicopter different from the original ones. At least we were together. The area was filled with people, I remember a lot of pushing and shoving. People were laying on the ground, some were fighting and there were many items littering the ground. I couldn't understand why.

People were being loaded onto helicopters very quickly. Two of them took off. My family and I were loaded onto a helicopter. We were instructed to hold onto the net above us and not lose our spots. At the time, I was barely tall enough to hold onto it. My brother and sister were younger, and shorter, they held onto my parents. We were near the edge of the net, looking outside of the helicopter. A small group formed near ours, waiting to be loaded. It soon turned into a very large group. It wasn't long before people were shoving into us, trying to make room? Trying to take our spot? It didn't matter. Sometimes I was lifted off the ground entirely, my feet dangling off the side of the helicopter. I remember my father punching someone, gaining me my spot back.

My sister disappeared for a small while. I was not involved in finding her, but I soon saw her back at my mother's side, holding onto her leg tightly. I looked out at the massive crowd. Several more helicopters had taken off and our crowd only grew bigger with each one. I looked at the people staring, very longingly. They wanted, no...needed..to get on our helicopter. I looked at the despair on many of their faces. Men, women, children, babies. All enduring the wind of the rotors without a blink of an eye. They had hope, even those at the back of the swarm, they too somehow had hope of getting on board. I looked out at the other two helicopters that were here. They had equal groups hovering around them.

I am very thankful that at the time, I did not know what may have become of them. I was not a selfish person and would have given up my spot for any of them. For what purpose though? Would they have prospered longer? Was I not meant to have a spot in that helicopter? A chance for survival? Surely I could have only helped one of them. I wouldn't know which one and many were families who would not want to be split apart. Or so I would hope. To this day I wonder about my place on that chopper. Perhaps it was reserved for someone out there that day, someone who could have helped end what happened.

I remember feeling very lucky to be there, on the helicopter. Perhaps I was, but take a glance at me now. Will I die a lucky man? That is not for anyone to decide. Some people, sometimes entire families, would attempt to climb aboard. Holding others as their only means of staying on. They were grabbed and thrown to the ground by officials. I remember the despair in their faces the most, as our helicopter began to take off. Some grabbed onto the landing skids. The pilot kept the helicopter at a rather low hover, waiting for them to fall, or let go. I remember hovering for almost two minutes before hearing a very close gunshot, before our helicopter continued on it's route.

My mind has thought over what may have happened with that single shot many times. I hope for the best outcomes, but fear the worst have come true instead. It isn't until we fly away that I get a good view of the size of the crowd, at least two thousand people stand below and many vehicles were still traveling the roads. My family was quite distant then. All of them seemed to stare out at all of the confusion. How many thoughts did we share that moment? God only knows. I saw many men and women out beyond the landing zone, the troops were shooting them very efficiently as they made their way across the land.

The flight....it was very long. I remember wanting to sleep, holding on to the net was all I could do. I noticed a few empty helicopters moving the opposite direction. I hoped they were going to help those who didn't get flown out of the area. During the flight I saw other similar landing areas. I was pretty disturbed seeing the troops shoot all those innocent people outside their circle. I suppose, at the time they did look quite normal didn't they?

The chatter on board was very hard to hear, even when people were yelling. Their combined noise mixed with the rotors was giving me a headache. Heh, the least of my worries right? Not at the time I suppose. When the flight ended, I still hadn't a clue of what was going on. We were unloaded, almost as quickly as we had been loaded. We were in an area surrounded by stone walls. There were many metal structures with a dome roof in the area. I also saw many military vehicles. Looking around, there seemed to be many posted troops.

I do wonder if half of them had any idea what they would be facing in the upcoming months. I don't think anyone did, honestly. How can you be prepared for such an event? Were you prepared? Nonsense, if you had been, you wouldn't be here, gazing upon me as if I were some sort of monster. Not yet, friend. You are a friend are you not? Keeping me company during this long night. Enduring my pain, my sorrow, my questions, my story. Do you not consider yourself my friend? Only in pity, surely. This is only business for you, you shall pretend until my dying breath that you are with me because you want to be. What favor will you be doing me?

We stayed in those structures for months. We shared them with many people and it only grew worse as the months passed and more people moved in with us. Tensions were always high, understandably of course. Fights broke out very easily, including a few that involved my father. He was a good man, always standing up for me, for my family. How he kept himself together during those times is beyond me. Having a family in that much danger? I imagine it would take quite a toll on your well being.

I remember, I didn't know what the real danger was until a group of folks moved into the camp. They were...odd, to say the least. They had something about them that was just not right. It was less than twenty-four hours before they seemed to crack. At the time, I didn't know what was wrong with them. They attacked a few others before being dragged away. The strange part was, the ones they attacked were also dragged away. Gunshots could be heard and everyone's assumptions were indeed accurate. That event haunted me several nights. I started to ask some strangers what was going on. I got the truth, boy did I get the truth. I never slept easy again after that day. Never trusted another human being, never had any peace.

Food was plentiful, but I found myself like a dog. Certain food is good in moderation, variety, of course, is what keeps your mouth entertained. I hated it there. Our first meals were great, mostly very fresh foods, I was told they would perish so they needed to be eaten and second helpings were encouraged. But soon, meal after meal, they grew old. Next we were forced to eat freeze dried food. I thought I'd go insane eating that stuff. Heh, who's to say I haven't? Who's to say every human isn't insane these days. Sophistication, gone. I never thought I'd miss mediocrity. You always want to be the special one, you want to be noticed, but when that change happens it's a shock. Makes you want to crawl back to the safety of your quiet life. Where does that get you though? I don't know either.

Then...one of those days, I remember my family had been playing cards. We were introduced to some new folks who would join us. I remember being skeptical, I didn't want them anywhere near my family. You know, hindsight never fails to be correct. If only we could harness that vision and..... ride it to success. Would we all not die happy? Opportunities are often missed. More often than they are captured, used, like they were meant to be. I had one of those opportunities. One I could not afford to miss. He was begging me, one of the men who recently joined our group. Pleading, crying, he wanted death.

Have you ever killed a man? Have you ever seen life drain from one's eyes until their body hangs limp? I hadn't....and I didn't. It was very dark, I was being shoved against a wall as the man was screaming at me. Several flashlights clicked on, shining on the man's face. My father, I didn't see him approach. He punched that man square in the jaw. To this day I don't know why the man fought back. Perhaps it was to have my father kill him, perhaps it was anger, rage or....something uncontrollable. The fight didn't last long. Troops burst into the room, grabbing the man and my father before dragging them out of the building.

Even at the time I knew what was next to come. I chased them, crying, begging for them to spare my father. The troops wouldn't listen to a word I said, for good reason. I remember my father showing me the cuts on his hands from the other man. He told me it needed to be done. He told me he loved me and he gave me...a message, for my family. I followed them, hugging my father, up until the troops threw me on the ground. Was I not foolish as a teenager? It's a wonder I even made it this far. I lay there on the ground, staring up into the darkness. My eyes, they were filled with tears. I waited for that sound, the one I'd grown to hate, to fear. I jumped when I heard it, one gunshot. I do wonder who was shot first that day, I wonder if my father was at peace with dying, with death. The other followed shortly after. I remember laying out there that night. I was filled with intense sadness, with anger, with pain. I should have learned to accept such feelings, if that was even possible. Even today, I find it a feat too great for any man.

I know I should have done something that day. I should have killed that man, before my father would step in and protect me, as always. What if I had killed that man? What would the Lord think of my actions? Is killing a man destined for early death, begging to die, a crime? How is it different from killing those who are not to die so soon? Listen to me, asking all these questions. My thoughts are not important to you, only my knowledge. I have no reason to keep it from you. I won't need it, no matter where I may go.

Many infected went unseen that night, morning was terrifying. Everything was in chaos. That was the start of my loneliness. The start of the time I really got to know myself, the world, the people. I won't go on, I can't. Surely you wouldn't let my dying thoughts be ones of sadness? Who would do such a thing to a human being? I've told you how it started, now leave me be. Do not let me turn in front of you, it would be an insult to what I've been fighting for. Please, leave me my honor, my dignity, in my passing moments. Why are you staring? Did you not understand what I have spoken to you? Move on, leave me here. It's what is best, it's what I want. May the life of mankind continue on. I watch as they move on. Of course, I wish them the best of luck. It was not fault of them that leaves me here, injured, infected. I weep now, soon to be gone. At least then, I can be reunited with peace.

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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Fri Aug 27, 2010 7:48 am

Wow Brad....just....wow.

I don't even know what to say man!

This story really connects to me. It makes me further question our world, who we are, what I would do...
Congradulations on invoking my thoughts!

I'm just utterly impressed.

Amazing job bro, you were made to be a writer.
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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Fri Aug 27, 2010 7:39 pm

Wow ZF, thanks a LOT for that comment!! Very Happy Really made my day when I read that. You have no idea how pleased I am to read what you had to say about it!

Thank you very very much for reading it and commenting! Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Fri Aug 27, 2010 10:05 pm

Of course man, that's what MBs are for!
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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Fri Aug 27, 2010 11:56 pm

Good is an understatement. But yeah Razz I liked it Brad, very interesting and deep stuff. 5 starred bro Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Sat Aug 28, 2010 6:20 am

Many thanks to you too Simian! Very Happy I'm very glad to hear such positive feedback from an experiment I only hoped wouldn't suck. xD

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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Thu Sep 09, 2010 3:21 pm

How come I never got to see this >=. *will read it sometime*

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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Thu Sep 09, 2010 5:04 pm

I dunno. =. xDD Okay then.

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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Wed Sep 15, 2010 2:02 am

Wow... Just wow. What a story. What a storyteller. Wow. I'll post more when I've gotten over the shock of how awesome that was. XD
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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Wed Sep 15, 2010 3:28 am

Thank you very much Laclipsey! Very Happy I greatly appreciate your kind feedback!

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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:18 am

No, I appreciate your awesome story. I think the way you chose to tell that story made all the difference. The entire time I wanted to know what was going on, and so I kept reading, trying to piece together every clue I could find. Though even in the end, we don't find out, I also kind of like how you leave it open-ended, so it can apply to whatever the imagination wants to fill in the blank with. Zombie apocalypse, nuclear fallout, World War III, contagious disease epidemic, and the list goes on. But again, the last recollection of a dying man was the perfect way to unravel the story, given what your purposes seem to be. All in all, a spectacular story deserving of a I\'m happy.
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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:39 am

WOW! Very Happy Thank you very very much. I am greatly honored to have such a comment posted on my story!! I love the way you were able to capture what I wrote so easily and then be able to write what you thought into words. Thanks a lot! You sure seemed to understand everything that I did, styles I used, choices ect. and you knew why as well. Sometimes while writing stories I don't know why I use the style I do, or why I make some choices I do, so it's cool to see a reader expand on my...subconscious actions. xD

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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Wed Sep 22, 2010 1:17 am

Alright Mr. Brad. Your story is first on my list to read tonight. *cracks knuckles* Stand back and prepare to be bored by whatever I have to say >=. In whatever order I say it!

Opening is good. Makes you wonder what that is and draws your attention to reading on. Something all writers strive for =U EPIC PLANS YOUNG CHILD, EPIC PLANS. Oh mai lol =U Person sounds like me. Minus the ice cream truck and my wonderful ways of thinking. I probably quoted that near word for word last year @_@

Well I think Laclipsey summarized this pretty well. It IS really impressive Brad. It’s got a lot of feeling a pace that jerks you along to want more and be unable to stop because you want to know more. Your ending is great too because it gives info out but not TOO MUCH. And you can identify with your narrator easily thanks to the way you worded it and everything.

Funny, I was writing a story from this perspective awhile back. Not from a guy in said conditions, I just meant as if they were talking to someone. But yes, Powerful is I believe the best word to describe it. You didn’t go overboard with details but they were efficient and gave the big picture. The tension, all of it. Dang I really don’t have anything that I didn’t like about it. And you’d be amazed it kept my attention to entire time—something that’s near impossible to accomplish with Mega10 regardless.

Once again, I say really nice job. This is pro stuff right here. In all honesty you could probably get something like this published with one of those short story…group effort things. Yeah bad explanation, just take it as a compliment. Kudos to you!

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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Wed Sep 22, 2010 4:22 am

First of all, thank you very much for the comment. 0.0 Everyone here on MB is doing a great job of motivating me to write more. =P Your comment does wonders for said motivation as well. So thank you. Very Happy

Person sounds like you eh? xD Quoted word for word? 0.0 Whoa. =. It feels good to hear someone say that it was impressive. =P I rarely get to hear those words!

I'd be interested to read a story you were writing from this perspective, I bet it'd be pretty cool. =. Nothing you didn't like? That pleases me. Very Happy It also pleased me that it kept your attention. =P

Thank you for the very nice comment and for all your detailed descriptions of what you liked and thought and stuff. =P Means a lot to a writer as you know. =P Short story group effort things eh? I'll need to look into that. xD

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PostSubject: Re: A Gaze Into the Start of Extinction   Wed Sep 22, 2010 6:29 am

yeah for lack of better description. I might remember what they're called tomorrow >_> XDDD

And you're welcome! as I said =P XD

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