HomePortalRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Flipside

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : Previous  1, 2
AuthorMessage
Mega10
Admin
Admin


Posts : 6953
Join date : 2010-01-13

PostSubject: Re: Flipside   Tue Sep 07, 2010 11:59 pm

you are welcome lol! and yeees I tired now I go eat >-U XD
Back to top Go down
http://www.zetras.com
Mega10
Admin
Admin


Posts : 6953
Join date : 2010-01-13

PostSubject: Re: Flipside   Sun Oct 10, 2010 4:51 pm

this was hard to write seeing as my main character was unconscious and it was sort of a transitional chapter.

Chapter Eight

Speckle and Smudge sat silently near the stationary lump on the couch. Their brother. He hadn’t moved since Snakebite had first brought him here. Their mother had asked why Splotch hadn’t returned, neither of the two had heard his response though.

Domino was wrapped in many blankets, only part of his pale face visible. He looked dead to them; Snakebite had insisted he was just unconscious though. Day was fading into night. Dark shadows were swallowing the glistening snow outside the window and the faint jingle of bells told them the wind had kicked up slightly.

Speckle sighed as she left her seat by the window and walked over to Domino. His current spot was right in front of a small kerosene heater.

“Domino…” She shook his shoulders, but he didn’t respond. “Domino!!” She called again louder. Nothing.

The front door slammed against the wall. Splotch was home. Dotti was there in an instant. Speckle returned her attention to her brother and shook his arm again.

“Don’t do that.” Smudge kicked her feet against the chair, “Sleep is good for him.”

“Not if he’s dead.”

“He isn’t!”

Speckle made a face at her sister before poking at her brother again. He still had no response. Their mother and father were now in the room, no doubt with great argument.

“I told him to stay uphill!”

“If you had been watching him maybe he would have been!”

The two glared at each other for some time, an unspoken anger sparking between the two. Splotch would never willingly admit to any fault. Dotti was the first to give in as she sat down on the chair beside the couch, casting a weary glance to Domino.

Splotch shook his head and kicked a stack of magazines from his path before leaving to get washed up. He left a trail of mud after him all the way to the laundry room which only added to its messy appearance.

There was hardly a moment to spare as a knock sounded on the front door. Reluctantly, Dotti left their unconscious son and went to open it. The sky was dark by now. She hadn’t realized how much time had flown by. She turned the handle and gave the door a hard nudge to open it. In her doorway stood Snakebite, his lithe form was rather easily distinguished next to most.

“Evening ma’am.”

Dotti frowned and put her hand to her mouth.

“I’m…sorry to intrude at such a time, but—”

He stopped. Splotch had appeared around the corner, wiping his hands on an old rag. Dotti stepped aside as he pushed by.

“Idiot.”

“Sorry you feel that way, Splotch.”

“I want you off.”

Snakebite frowned, but nodded his head slowly, he wasn’t surprised this had been the reason Splotch called him over, “Sorry about earlier…”

“Get out.”

Snakebite looked up at him, his face unreadable as he stepped back out of the doorway. “Alright, goodnight to you. Hope you son is o—”

Splotch had slammed the door in his face.

“Splotch…was that really— ”

“Shut. Up.” He gave her an ice cold glare, before turning back without a word.

She didn’t bother to try and reason with him any further, rather making a detour back to the room they’d left Domino in to watch over the little limp zetraloid. Surely life wouldn’t be so cruel to a zetra so young. She shook her head. The water would have been cold. Did he really stand a chance against its risks? Speckle and Smudge returned to their brother’s side. All they could do was wait and see. Every now and then his helmet fins would twitch, but that was it. This would be a long night.


Last edited by Mega10 on Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top Go down
http://www.zetras.com
BradHummr
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 4855
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Place

PostSubject: Re: Flipside   Tue Oct 12, 2010 1:41 am

Transitional chapter? =O Sounds interesting. I eagerly anticipate the reading below this headline. =)

Alrighty, so I see Snakebite brought Domino to safety. Good for both of them I suppose. xD I wonder what Splotch is doing. Domino is a fighter! =D After all that, even though I know he lives I was worried...I think I mentioned that before but it is still true. >=O =)

Poor Speckle. =O Caring about an unresponsive lil Domino. "Not if he's dead!" "He isn't!" xD Yay humor. Very Happy Yeah yeah Splotch no error on your part right? Of course. Dotti you can't win this. =U I suspect they are faaaaaar away from a hospital which is why Domino is not getting prime care?

Wow Splotch, how grateful you are to the one who saved your son. Call him over, waste his time, talk mean to him, slam the door in his face. I am trying to link how getting mad at the person who saved your son relates to being a good father, or a deeper meaning than that even....with good intentions, but I cannot find it. =U

Oh waaaaay to tell Dotti to shut up too you dumb Dumb Dumb. He is getting me angered....but I'm sure Ten will find a way to change that yes? xD I bet it's really hard to watch over your son like that. D= I feel bad for Dotti and Domino's siblings...and Splotch. I imagine he is feeling pain over the situation as well. I feel bad for Domino too. >_> xDD

You did a great job without even having your main character conscious. xD But then again, it hasn't been in first person so I am not surprised that you have once again captivated the Brad's attentioned without help from the DOMINO. I dunno why I said that loud I just felt like it. Thank you very much for writing, typing, editing, proofreading, posting ect to allow such work to be seen by my eyes. =P This story so far is doing a GREAT job of making me really care about your characters and stuff. =. Excellent work mah friend.

_________________
Thank you Ten. =P
Brad is now....A MAN....after however long this message has been here. >=. --Mega10
Back to top Go down
Mega10
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 6953
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 126

PostSubject: Re: Flipside   Tue Oct 12, 2010 1:52 am

Yay =D I am pleased that you approve.

Yes it is a good thing XD even if Splotch didn't help. I find it funny that you worry about him when you know he lives XDD I'd think that'd take a major...aspect out of it XDD

Splotch is never wrong =U Splotch is epic you see. That would be part of the reason about dom dom BTW, part I say.


Yessss poor Snakebite >_>

a dumb Dumb Dumb I like that. Maybe I want you to be angry at him >_> forever >_> XDD

Anyway, glad you approve of it even if it lacks the Domino who I keep nearly calling Vengeance tonight.


_________________
Back to top Go down
http://www.zetras.com
BradHummr
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 4855
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Place

PostSubject: Re: Flipside   Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:04 am

It would take away a major aspect? =. What do you mean?

I don't wanna be mad at him forever! D= But it will do. =) xD Not my story and look at Caine, you only made him pitiful before he died. =. And even then he was not likeable.

_________________
Thank you Ten. =P
Brad is now....A MAN....after however long this message has been here. >=. --Mega10
Back to top Go down
Mega10
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 6953
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 126

PostSubject: Re: Flipside   Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:23 am

I never saw your comment on here 0_O

XDDD wow brad. Such a great comparison. Oh and by major aspect I dunno what I was saying. I meant a major part or something like knowing he lives would take the fear/uncertainty out of it

_________________
Back to top Go down
http://www.zetras.com
Mega10
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 6953
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 126

PostSubject: Re: Flipside   Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:06 am

Chapter Nine

“Help!”

Dotti gazed over in shock as Domino clawed at the blanket on him, eyes shut tight as he thrashed from side to side.

“Domino! What’s wrong?”

Domino stopped his flailing, eyes gradually opening as he glanced around. Everything was dark! What had happened? The water! Was he still underwater? A dim light flickered on, causing him to squint against the change. Now he could see his mother sitting on the chair beside the couch, watching over him with concern. Relief fluttered upon him as he realized he was safe at home.

“What…”

He couldn’t finish before his mother had wrapped her arms around him, repeating his name over and over again. He let her without any resistance despite all the questions he had. Before long, his father appeared from the other room.

“What’s all this gosh darn commotion about?”

“He’s alive!” Dotti exclaimed.

Splotch merely yawned and gave them an incredulous stare. Clearly, he didn’t see the need to lose sleep over such a thing. Dotti wasted no time dealing with his unpleasant attitude and rather submerged Domino in hugs.

“Are you okay?” She asked, looking him over for any evident signs suggesting otherwise.

Once again he had no time to reply before she repeated her hugging technique.

“Well if that’s it, I’ll be headed back ta bed.” Splotch grumbled as he wove his way around all the misplaced junk on the floor.

Domino frowned when his father left, he tried to call him, but coughed instead. Oh well, he supposed his father didn’t really care anyway. He soon turned back to his mother.

“I’m tired, mama.”

Dotti was already situating him back down on the couch, “You just rest then.”

Domino tried looking out the window but it was far too dark. It must have been late, or early, he wasn’t sure. He yawned.

“Mama, can I help decorate the tree?”

Dotti couldn’t suppress a smile, “Of course you can. Later on.”

Domino nodded his head and rolled over on his side, cuddling up amongst his blankets. Had the water all been a nightmare? No, he was almost sure it had been real. Why else would his mother have reacted in such a way? But he was safe now, and that was all that mattered. He coughed again, harder than before, and shook his head. Something didn’t feel right. Maybe he had hit it on the tree. One side still felt like it was underwater.

He pushed himself back up and looked around. Where was Snakey? He hadn’t lost his favorite toy on the way had he? Was Snakey still stuck back in the water, never to be seen again? He shook his head, no, Snakey couldn’t be!

“Is something wrong?”

“Snakey.” Domino grimaced, “Have you seen him?”

“It’s out drying.” She answered.

“Oh, okay.” He smiled; easily contented, he flopped back down.

He was safe and so was Snakey; that was good enough for him. Now having his answers, he drifted off to sleep peacefully.

Domino was up by late morning the next day. The room was fairly empty now. He could hear his sisters giggling outside and someone was in the kitchen. Probably his mother. He stretched his arms far above his head and much to his surprise, found his limbs to be stiff and sore. Maybe from the day before, he decided. Nevertheless, he was determined to get up and investigate the doings of everyone else.

He rolled off the couch, landing in a clump of blankets on the floor. A strange noise sloshed in one side of his head, it was cold and felt much like water. He shook it again. Strange. Oh well, he’d figure it out later.

Avoiding a half finished puzzle strewn about on the floor, he headed over to the window. A flurry of white powder was overtaking the sky, it wasn’t bright like most mornings; rather a drab gray was merely splotched with intense streaks of white. The blizzard must have been blowing in. Just then the door opened. In tumbled his sisters, behind them the evergreen tips of their Christmas tree just visible.

Domino grinned and rushed to help. He stopped abruptly though at the throb in his transmitter. He tilted his head to one side, feeling the odd water like substance move accordingly. Was that normal? He didn’t think so, but he’d never almost drawn before either.

It seemed the tree had made it in just fine without his help, dropping large plops of snow on their already dirt splotched carpet. He saw his father emerge next from around the side of the tree, grumbling something about stupid traditions; he must have had the day off. Once finished with his list of complaints, he grabbed the tree and hauled it out into the center.

Domino skittered out of the way as the tree was set in place. A grin spread across his face again.

“You got it, dad!”

Splotch’s helmet fins twitched as he looked to Domino. The little zetraloid certainly seemed bright and cheery today for nearly having been drown the day before. He nodded his head once before nearly tripping over a pile of books on the floor.

Domino was quite confident that the assortment of words that followed were no doubt ‘bad.’ His dad hated when the house was a mess like this. He often went on long speeches about how he wasn’t working just to have his house disregarded.

“I’ll clean it up.” Domino volunteered with a smile.

Splotch glanced at him and made something similar to a grunt.

“Good. You might as well. Ya never do anything else useful.”

Domino’s helmet fins drooped. What was it that his father wanted him to do then? He’d do it if he only knew what it was. Without any further discussion, he set about rearranging the various things on the floor. It took a couple hours to do so, and by then he could smell a swirl of cinnamon coming from the kitchen. His mother must have been cooking something tasty.

Investigation was needed. He happily bounced into the kitchen. The table was covered in flour and an assortment of small cups and bowls for ingredients. On the counter, a steaming tray of gingerbread cookies waited patiently. He watched as his mother placed another set in the oven.

Domino breathed in deeply, they smelled delicious, but were far too hot to eat yet.

“They’re for after dinner.” His mother stated as she slid them off the tray with a spatula.

Domino nodded his head. He could wait until then.

“Where’s Snakey?”

Dotti pointed to the pantry door where the small, green snake hung over the handle. “I repaired him.” She closed the oven door, “A twig must have caught and tore a seam.”

Domino gasped. Snakey was injured? He snatched the toy off the handle and inspected it, mouth curving to a frown as he looked it over many times. At last he spotted the repaired portion of his favorite toy.

“You had surgery.” He announced before hugging it.

His father had come into the kitchen now, irritated as usual. Domino frowned and began to inch his way towards the hall, holding Snakey close. He failed to make it out undetected though.

“Domino!”

Domino cringed and looked up, “Yeah dad?”

He glared.

“Sir.”

“You don’t need that stupid toy.”

Domino’s eyes went wide as he hugged the snake protectively.

“Splotch,” Dotti spoke up, while wiping down a counter, “He’s still plenty young. It’s fine for—”

Before she’d finished, Splotch had grabbed a hold of the snake and gave it a sharp yank.

Domino fell forward, still clinging to his toy.

“You don’t need it.” Splotch repeated.

“Nooo.” Domino whined, “He’s my favorite!”

Splotch didn’t listen. Rather, kicking him down and taking the snake. Domino’s head hit the ground quite hard. He silently sat back up and began to rub at his transmitter. It was hurting again. Slowly standing, he saw Snakey dangling from his father’s hand. Before he could object, Splotch had tossed it in amongst the trash.

Domino frowned all the more and rushed to the trash but his father had placed his foot on its lid.

“I said you don’t need it.”

“But dad, I—”

No.”

He flinched when his father stepped closer to him. He was pointing out of the room. Domino’s helmet fins drooped as he reluctantly turned to follow the order, feet dragging the floor. Were they really going to throw Snakey away? He glanced over his shoulder, triggering his head’s throbbing to return. He tried shaking it, but it only blurred his vision, causing him to tumble over.

He hurried to get up again and retreated to his room in tears. If he couldn’t please his dad, why couldn’t he have his snake? He buried his face beneath his pillows and held them over his head.

_________________
Back to top Go down
http://www.zetras.com
BradHummr
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 4855
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Place

PostSubject: Re: Flipside   Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:59 am

CHAPTER NINE. =D Pretty close chapter wise on FD and FS I see.

Domino is awake. 0.0 xD And he is kinda blind and has no idea where he is. Understandable he has been through a trauma of sorts. Wow what a feeling he must be having. Thinking he was still in the water and then seeing his loving mother. =. I'm glad. xD

Good good someone is holding the lil Domino. =. Oh boy here comes Grouchy. Of course he doesn't seem to care, why would he? Submerged him in hugs. xDD DROWNING IN HUGS MOM. D= Way to care Splotch, father of the year. Maybe you're relieved INSIDE hm? Maybe? Just wanna be epic manly for some reason?

Dotti glared at Domino. "If yer tired why did ya decide to wake up?!" she asked him angrily. INNOCENCE. xDD He wants to decorate the tree. =P Ph boy. The start of his problems. Head injury. Poor kid. Time for a life of failure and redicule. Yay Snakey was saved. xD Good he deserves his toy...for now anyway...a little bird told me Snakey gets destroyed by the evil forces of Splotchon. How mean. >_>

Ah....nothing like a long rest to make you wonder what others are up to. Eh Domino? Water in his head. >_< Does this mean he has the water in his head even when he gets older and like...near Wrath and stuff? Wrath could drain it I'm sure. Hopefully the water gets out and isn't stuck in his head all his life. xD EW MOLD IN THERE. And rust. >_> Ahem.

Ohhh snow. =O White Christmas for them? Very Happy Tree. 0.0 Wow this fits in well with the holidays approaching so quickly. Eager to help is he. =. That's a good sign. Stupid traditions. >_> Come on Splotch don't bring everyone down. And by everyone I mean Domino cause he's probably the only one you'll bring down. Poor Domino. >=. Being nice to his Dad and volunteering to clean and he gets zero respect. =U Splotch mah boi, come on....

HOURS your son worked for you. HOURS. D= Ohhh yummy food. =D xD Snakey. =O Had surgery. xDD Nice way to put it Domino. At least Snakey is alright and Dotti cares. =) No Splotch. >=. Don't you dare break Snakey now. Domino almost DIES and he can't have a toy snake?! WHat is your problem taking it away like that and KICKING your son down. Gosh the poor kid. >_< His Dad is being a jerk. He can't even have his toy? His comfort? GOSH. You do such a good job writing that Splotch is making me mad again. >=. Domino doesn't deserve treatment like that.

>_> Nice job writing again. =P It made me mad but that is very good. =P I really enjoyed it. Very Happy Thank you!

_________________
Thank you Ten. =P
Brad is now....A MAN....after however long this message has been here. >=. --Mega10
Back to top Go down
Mega10
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 6953
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 126

PostSubject: Re: Flipside   Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:09 pm

Why yes it is sir.

Brad is glad =) My neck is not glad. I slept on it funny.

Brad encourages story characters along. "Yes that's right =D Hold the lil Dom Dom =) "

Grouch indeed >_> Epic manly XDDD Splotch is a meanie head.

Evil Dotti brad version 0.0

Dom: Almost died? =\ Oh well decorate tree now??? =)

Brad forsees a great future I see. Poor DOmino. You mean the evil forces of Splotchon has told you this? 0.0 XDDD

....Splotchonshirt =) XDD

Certainly Wrath would be able to. He does it to Blood =D ......well not his head, his transmitters. But that's because Blood's get full of...well blood...and other undesirable blood loving creatures >_> Or just general stinkiness loving to be correct.

Lol yeah it does fit in doesn't it? Who'd know I'd be writing it near this time XD not me for sure.

Splotch apparently does not care about bringing everybody down.

Indeed D: Poor Dom Dom.

C: The mind of a Domino. *look at snake* Suregery >=. cept spelled right. XDD Brad tried to frighten the splotch away but does not succeed.
I don't think SPlotch thinks everything through that far ahead .-. Son almost died. Son does not need snake =)

No comfort for Dom DOm =c

Splotch makes brad mad again? =) Was he ever making you unmad? XD

Thank you =D I actually hated this chapter but that's just me I suppose.

_________________
Back to top Go down
http://www.zetras.com
Mega10
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 6953
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 126

PostSubject: Re: Flipside   Wed Jun 29, 2011 5:16 pm


Sorry if it has formatting issues. I found out one comp has word 7 and this one has 2010 (didn't even know they changed) anyway I didin't get to look like.

Chapter Ten
Domino suspected his father would be asleep still when he awoke early the next morning. All was dark and the moon was still high in the sky. It was time to rescue Snakey. As silent as he could, he pushed open his door and crept out. The snow cast odd, moving shadows—reflections of the moonlight—on the walls around him. Then the floor creaked. He paused, but heard nothing more.

Each silent step brought him closer to the kitchen. He’d almost made it passed all the obstacles of the hall when the sharp pain hit.

“Ow!” He paused to cover the transmitter.

A thump down the hall alerted him of someone getting out of bed. The lights flicked on shortly after. Domino’s helmet fins drooped as he turned to look over his shoulder. It was his father. Splotch grumbled something under his breath as he made his way down the hall.

“Domino!” It was a rather loud whisper, “So help me, I—people r’ sleepin’ ya know!”

“S-sorry, dad, my—ow!” Domino frowned.

Splotch sighed and shook his head. He grabbed Domino by his arm and fumbled through the living room into the kitchen. It took him a moment to find the light switch hidden behind a clutter of pots. Domino blinked as the light flooded the crowded kitchen in a dim orange.

Still muttering, Splotch ventured off into the laundry room. Domino waited, listening to his father shuffle through drawers. After a few moments he returned and bent down so that he could inspect Domino’s transmitter. He ran his hand along its length a time or two before stopping at a hairline split.

“It’s jus’ a fracture.” Splotch pulled a strip of silvery tape off the roll he had returned with and wrapped it around the transmitter several times, “It’ll be fine.”

“Ow! Dad, it—ow!”

“Stop y’er whinin’.” Splotch slapped the back of Domino’s head, “You’ll be fine. Get back in bed.”

Domino sighed, rubbing the wrapped transmitter cautiously, “Yes, sir.”

Why didn’t anyone listen? Or to be fair, why didn’t his father ever listen? He rubbed his transmitter again. He didn’t want it wrapped up. He wanted the pain to come out.







The next morning his father was already gone. Domino toppled out of bed and back to the kitchen. Snakey was nowhere to be found. His spotted helmet fins drooped down as he sauntered out to the living room and plopped down. Nothing seemed to be going his way.

“Domino!” An excited voice called as the door burst open.

It was Speckle, covered from helmet fin tip to foot in snow. Smudge bundled through after her, giggling excitedly.

“Come on! Come on!” Speckle tugged at his arm, “There’s lots of snow!”


Domino’s helmet fins perked up as he hurried out after them. Snow was everywhere! He hadn’t missed his chance for the snowball fight after all. Smudge hurried back to her snowman in progress while Speckle dropped down and started rolling, sending up a fluff of snow behind her.

Domino grinned and pounced on his rolling sister. She squeaked in surprise before pushing him away. He got back on his feet quickly and ignored the mild pain it caused one side of his head. He then grabbed an armful of snow and dropped it on Speckle’s head.

“Hey!” She leapt up and shook her head.

Domino ran, leaving her with no choice but to follow. Up the hill he charged before pausing to see if his sister was still following. After a moment, he spotted her. He retreated behind a clump of trees and set about accumulating snowballs. He began stacking them in a pile while he waited for her to reach the top.

Speckle was following the obvious footprints in the snow—oops, he had forgotten about those.

“Surprise!” Domino shouted before hurling a snowball at her. It made contact with the side of her head, “Score!”

“Cheater!” Speckle cried as she grabbed a handful of snow to toss back at him. It powdered long before it reached him.

Domino laughed before tossing several more at her. Some hit, others missed. Eventually Speckle battled her way over and tackled him to the ground. She grabbed some of the snowballs from the pile and splattered them over her brother’s head before he managed to shake her off.

Domino tumbled down the other side of the hill, laughing until his head disappeared in a mound of snow. He pulled it out and shook the remaining frozen layer off. Speckle followed likewise, bumping Domino as soon as he’d gotten up and causing him to tumble back over.

His head disappeared into a deep pocket of snow. It took him a moment to pry free again as he gazed out. They were by the main road now, although it was covered in snow since snowplows rarely came through here. Population wasn’t high enough.

“Hey, look!”

Speckle hopped over beside him, helmet fins twitching, “What’s so great about the road?”

“Not the road.” Domino bounded ahead of her, “Come on, I’ll show ya!”

He ran along the side, avoiding pinecones and fallen branches strewn about from the previous storm. He was pretty sure this was the way.

Speckle sighed as she followed, “Domino, don’t get us lost!”

“I won’t.”

“Hmph. You better not!” She hopped over a snow covered branch, “Or else…”

“Or else what?” Domino stopped and grinned.

Speckle didn’t reply until she had reached his side. Then she pushed one finger against the center V of his helmet fins, “Or else something! Just don’t get us lost. I want some of mom’s cookies.”

“Dun worry. It shouldn’t be far!”

Small flakes of white were fluttering down from the sky. Domino glanced up and smiled, not minding the cold snow flattening underfoot.

“It sure is pretty huh?” Speckle mused as she caught up to him.

Domino nodded.

As time moved on, their armor became layered in white. Snow was falling at a steady pace. Finally they stopped beside a towering pine tree just off of the main road. Domino grabbed onto its lowest branch and swung himself up on it, sending a shower of snow on his unsuspecting sister. She shot him a glare, but he didn’t notice.

“We came to see a tree?”

“No!” Domino frowned as he pulled himself up to a higher branch, “Just gotta check which way ta go.”

He returned after few moments and started running along the road again.

Speckle frowned as she glanced back. The sky was already dark, so it was hard to tell what time it was. Domino, oblivious to time being a factor, plummeted down a large dip of the road. Speckle followed after him again, racing through the snow until they’d reached a fork.

Domino detoured from the main road across a narrow, one lane bridge. The remainder of the road was bumpy, and no doubt, composed of primarily dirt. Right now it was a mucky brown snow that sloshed underfoot. Down another slope they ran and finally across a stretch of flat road. Domino paused in front of the twisty path he remembered. The only way he could tell it was the right one was by the trees lining the sides. They carried along down this new road until they saw a small house, no bigger than an average sized room. Christmas lights dazzled from around the edges of the roof and one of the trees outside was decorated likewise.

Domino hurried to the front door and knocked. No response. He frowned and knocked again. Still, no one came to the door. He glanced back at Speckle. She was huddled up, rubbing her hands together. He had been so focused on finding this place that he hadn’t even noticed how cold it was. He shivered and tried to keep his teeth from clattering as he rubbed his arms. They had come all this way for nothing? He had never suspected that the zetraloid wouldn’t be home. His helmet fins drooped down.

Just then Speckle cried in terror before leaping up the two small steps beside her brother.

Coming towards them was a slender, brown zetraloid—upper half of his body hidden behind a stack of wood. He dropped it almost instantly when he heard the scream—right on his foot. His expression twisted into somewhat of a frown as he pulled his foot out, balancing on the other and shaking the injured one.

“Domino?”

“Snakebite!” Domino cheered happily as he jumped off the stairs to greet him.

“What are you doing here?” Snakebite asked with a smile as he reached down to pick up the wood.

“We came to see you!”


“We did?” Speckle asked as she dared to take a step forward.

Domino was already bouncing around him, rambling on about how he had led them all the way here by himself.

“I’m cold.” Speckle interrupted, “Can we go inside?”

Snakebite was about to ask who she was when Domino chimed in, “That’s my sister! We had a snowball fight!”

“Does your mother know you’re out?” Snakebite asked as he carried some of the wood onto the small porch and set it off to the side in a dry corner.

He opened the door to let the two young zetraloids in.

Speckle wasted no time on polite mannerisms and hurried inside. It was a bland little house, but at least it was warm. Domino followed next, preceded by Snakebite who took a piece of wood to the wood burning stove and tossed it inside. The house had nothing on the floor at all. There was a reclining chair and a small couch. No TV though. What did the zetra do all day then?

“Sorry, nothing too fancy here.” Snakebite stated as he offered a blanket to Speckle. He tossed another to Domino, “You know you probably shouldn’t be out in this kind of weather after your last adventure.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Domino reassured him, “Dad fixed it, see?”

Snakebite glanced at what Domino spoke of and nodded although clearly not convinced.

Domino yawned. The orange glow flickering off of the wood floor from the stove was making him drowsy. He pulled the blanket closer and sat down. It felt good to be inside a nice warm house again.

“Why’d you come all the way down here?” Snakebite asked curiously.

Speckle had scurried over to the couch, now snuggled up in her blanket while Domino remained on the floor beside her. His mind was hardly on Snakebite, rather trailing the floor as he attempted to capture a small spider.

“Look.” Domino held it out to show Snakebite.

The zetraloid seemed to have figured out that he wouldn’t get an adequate explanation and shrugged, “Mhm, there’s a lot of spiders around here.” He smiled. “Hey wait there, I’ll be right back.”

Considering how small the house was, Snakebite didn’t go far. Domino waited with a smile. This was a nice place. Snakebite was nice too. Just then the zetraloid returned holding two cups.

“Hot chocolate anyone?”

“Ooh! I want some!” Domino jumped up and his sister was there in a flash too.


Snakebite chuckled before handing it to them. The two happily sat down side by side to drink their new treats.

“Wow! You always have this? If I had this I’d have it for breakfast, lunch and uh…breakfast!”

“Breakfast twice?” Snakebite inquired.

“Breakfast two billion times!”

“That’d be an awful lot, don’t you think?”

“Nope!” Domino gulped down the rest of his and licked around his mouth, “How come you don’t have a T.V.?”

Snakebite shrugged, “I have a radio.”

“Does it have Christmas music?” Domino asked, attention now focused on the snake zetraloid.

“Most likely.” Snakebite walked over to a small silver device and flipped the switch on. He had to adjust a small knob until the music came through properly.

Domino nodded contently, before humming to the tune and turning the cup in circles. It wasn’t long before he was singing along with it. His sister smiled and took another sip of her chocolate.

“Domino likes singing.” Speckle brushed a stray tangle of hair out of her face, “He’s really good.”

Snakebite smiled and sat in his chair. His tail flopped to one side to make doing so easier, it dangled beside his leg. He rested one split toed foot against his other knee and tapped it to the beat.

After a few songs, he got up and stretched, “Well you two, we better get you home before you get your mother in a panic.”

“Aww…do we hafta’?”

“’Fraid so.” Snakebite still smiled.

“We could just call her—I bet she’d let us stay.”

“Yeah, then we wouldn’t have to go into the freezing cold ‘n stuff.”

“Then we could stay up late and drink hot chocolate!”

“Maybe another time.” Snakebite was still just as pleasant, “It’s nearly Christmas, you should be with your family.”

_________________
Back to top Go down
http://www.zetras.com
BradHummr
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 4855
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 26
Location : Place

PostSubject: Re: Flipside   Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:52 am

Chapter YOU. =) Heeeeey I forgot Dumb Splotch threw Snakey away. =U Eh formatting issues are to be expected, I never seem to get that sort of thing right. BUT OH WELL. On to the chapter. =D

Ahhh father unit should be asleep. Uh oh. =. I have a bad feeling about this Domino. =U Though admittedly if I were in his position I would do that too. =P It be a shame is all. D= Wow snow reflections and shadows. =. Very creative. xD I can picture that easily and it's a really um...engaging detail. It's hard to describe. =P Not a common detail setting scene THING either. xD So that again is pretty cool. Cold early morning. =U Something cool to witness but probably not fun to experience. xD

Aw poor Domino. =U So close. NOT SOMEONE GETTING UP! D= Hide Domino hide! Well I see he listened. xD Well he'll probably get in less trouble being honest. People r sleeping Domino. >=( How dare you want to save your favorite toy and only friend. Bad transmitter. =U Stop hurting lil Domino. =( It makes me mad at you. >=. And I can't kick you without kicking Domino. >_> xD Transmitters....pssssh. Uh oh light is on. =. Hmmm what is this madness. Tape. =O Wow caring father moment. Ohhh even the inspection sounds painful. xD Nice description. He wanted the pain to come out. =U That's sad. xD

Oh no he can't find Snakey? >=. I think you told me how Snakey gets never found againable, but I forgot. xD So I don't know if this is the end of Snakey or not. 0.0 Suspense. >_> xD You HAD to go and make Snakey almost alive with personality didn't you? =) His sibs are early risers. =O Or he is late. xD Snow snow. Once again your ability to describe the actions of young kids shines through. xD Snow playing around! That really helps the flow and doesn't make the plot seem forced or anything. =. You know the innocent actions and stuff that you describe work out really well. =P Very atmospheric.

Ha ha. Forgot about his footsteps. xD AMAZING touches. =P I know these aren't like action guns pew pew descriptions, but...I don't know it's hard to describe. xD They work amazingly well to move things along, and build the reader's knowledge of the characters incredibly as well. I can imagine the snow didn't feel too good on the wounded transmitter. xD Domino has something to show. =. Domino. >=. You better not get you two lost. xD Scenery. =. YES they went to see a tree. =U They live near Brad they dun get to see them often. xD No no...not darkness already. @_@ Come on Speckle, talk some sense into Domino. D= He's totally going to get you guys in trouble.

Cooold zetras. =. YAY Snakebite. =D Now I feel better about Domino and Speckle's adventure. xD Though Splotch doesn't care much for Snakebite if I remember right, which means Domino might get HIM in trouble. =U Eh trouble trouble. Snakebite is a carin' zetra yup. xD Domino is amusing, I don't think Snakebite much cares about what they did. xD I see they don't answer if their mother knows they are out or not. xD Snakebite is a BORING zetra I see. =O He doesn't seem like the type to want TV or anything though. xD A good hard workin' ol fashion kinda guy. Snakebite does not live by the rules that tape can fix everything. =U xD

Playing with a spider. xD And then wanting to show Snakebite. xD Very nice. =P Once again I would like to compliment your skill for the little actions. =P Ha ha. xD Breakfast two billion times. Hot chocolate is good Domino. =U I don't blame you. Ah, a radio. xD Snakebite needs...something else, I dunno just him being there makes me feel bad for him. =P Sure it sounds cozy but...I dunno it's hard to describe. =U xD They want to stay. They should call anyway before the journey back anyway. =U Yes Christmas with family. =. Another great chapter. =P I have never read a story before that has sucked me in so much with amazing little details and actions and stuff. =O And the characters are likeable and different and fleshed out and just....I love this story. xD I just do. =P Thank you for posting! Very Happy

_________________
Thank you Ten. =P
Brad is now....A MAN....after however long this message has been here. >=. --Mega10
Back to top Go down
Mega10
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 6953
Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 126

PostSubject: Re: Flipside   Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:21 pm

Yes chapter me XDD Chapter me always seems to be long too 0.o XD On my stories. Subconscious I tell you. If Brad's dad threw his toy snake away that he loves dearly, he'd sneak out of bed too =U .......*adds this to memory database*

When I first spoke of the reflections I realized I had it all backwards >_> Instead of the snow I said "the walls cast reflections of the snow" or somehting like that. Which makes it sound like it was the walls doing the casting >=O when they were just doing the showing c: So I switched it up.

So you like my description eh? Thanks! I remember writing this chapter in a doctor's office last year XD I was having fun with details most of all I think.

Domino: *stands like dumby =U* XDD
Haha XD can't kick transmitter. And YES because clearly domino's ONE STATEMENT will wake up everyone in the house =U XD

Domino has epic mind thoughts. Yes mind thoughts >3> XDD He probably still thinks on that level =) I KID D: XDD

It's not here that he gets never foundable |D Even though he can't be found. Haha XDD did I? XP Make SNakey almost alive I mean. I suppose I made it likeable at least, since Domino loves it so much |D
Both kind of. About his sibs |D

Why thank you =D I am glad I can accomplish such things C:

Domino: *whips out a gun when his sister sees footprints =U* AHEM >_> XDDD
XDD There's a loooot of scenery in this chapter =P A lot of scenery and a lot of casual interaction. AKA non violent playing in snow and what not.

Yes XDDD Ten's dad would want to introduce them to the trees as well =)
Domino is apparently DUMB. WHY GO HOME =| XDD And Speckle is apparently not that concerned to either.

XDD Yes Snakebite indeed =) And noooo Splotch doesn't care much for him at all. They do not mention about their mother knowing because SHE DOES NOT C: XDD
Snakebite's cool to write about at least |P an actual KIND zetra without horrible intentions in my story =D And yep yep! You've got his summary C: He's got an OLD radio too. C| XDD
And nope D: He does not, this must be why Splotch hates him, not a believer of tape C:

Domino must really like breakfast. XPP Yeeees Snakebite does have a cozy and yet lonely little place. No family .0. That and he doesn't exactly have a whole lot of money |P So everything's pretty simplistic.

SHOULD......but who's to say he even has a phone? o3o XDDD

Well I am glad I can manage to pull off such a feat =O I forgot you liked FLipside a lot XD And then I go and not post anything in it for saihrfskfh years =U XDD
Thanks a ton epic ton ton ton for the comment! C:

_________________
Back to top Go down
http://www.zetras.com
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Flipside   

Back to top Go down
 

Flipside

View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 2 of 2Go to page : Previous  1, 2

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
MB :: Zyturri :: Zyturri Stories-